Monday, November 30, 2009

Ahoy there! Happy Monday!

Haven't updated in a bit, but then again not much has changed. Hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving. I had a wonderful relaxing week! Getting ready to head to the gym in a bit. Happy Monday!


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

been goneeeeeeee

i had like 1000 emails a day for comment spam and it was filling up my email box causing me to get tos hopefully they are done sending me bingo spam..... it was all on my mall walker post. i deleted a bunch but haven't gotten to the rest.

xo xo

Friday, November 13, 2009

its friday

days been going pretty good so far, so yay on that =)

kids will all be gone this weekend, so I will have to find something to do. i could just be lazy n do nothing tho.....but i think id rather get out of this house.

hope everyone has a great weekend


Thursday, November 12, 2009


Empathy, which literally translates as 'in feeling', is the capability to share another being's emotions and feelings.

Empathy, which literally translates as 'in feeling', is the capability to share another being's emotions and feelings.

Empathy, which literally translates as 'in feeling', is the capability to share another being's emotions and feelings.

Empathy, which literally translates as 'in feeling', is the capability to share another being's emotions and feelings.

Empathy, which literally translates as 'in feeling', is the capability to share another being's emotions and feelings.

Empathy, which literally translates as 'in feeling', is the capability to share another being's emotions and feelings.

I can sit here and write that til the cows come home, but some narcissistic people won't get it.

Empathy try it on for size......


Monday, November 09, 2009

it's monday

argh. the weekend was long. partly because the kids were off school thursday, friday.... anthony was sick, i wasn't feeling good at all. the stuff the dentist did, hurt very badly all weekend, i had a sore throat and a cough. i had no money to do anything and savannah was bored. i felt bad, but did what i could. yesterday we had our movie day at moms and ate ice cream sundaes and watched movies. not much i could do........bills, but they are all paid, thank God.

yesterday, i didn't feel real well was sad. a good friend and i talked in depth last night about alot of things. he made me see alot of things i don't see. was nice to just talk and get good sound advice. i have a lot of good friends. i'm extremely lucky on that front.

hmmm claire chewed up about 20 dum dum suckers and has sticks stuck in her fur, so i'm guessing a bath for her is on the agenda.

kids are all back to school. im cleaning.


happy monday.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

It's Tuesday and.......

I don't care anymore.....

Well you can tell ev'ryone I'm a damned disgrace
(Slander)Drag my name all over the place.
I don't care anymore.
You can tell ev'rybody 'bout the state I'm in
You won't catch me crying 'cos I just can't win.
I don't care anymore I don't care anymore

I don't care what you say
I don't play the same games you play.

'Cos I've been talking to the people that you call your friends
And it seems to me there's a means to an end.
They don't care anymore.
And as for me I can sit here and bide my time
I got nothing to lose if I speak my mind.
I don't care anymore I don't care no more

I don't care what you say
We never played by the same rules anyway.

I won't be there anymore
Get out of my way
Let me by
I got better things to do with my time
I don't care anymore I don't care anymore
I don't care anymore I don't care anymore

Well, I don't care now what you say
'Cos ev'ry day I'm feeling fine with myself
And I don't care now what you say
Hey I'll do alright by myself
'Cos I know.

'Cos I remember all the times I tried so hard
And you laughed in my face 'cos you held all the cards.
I don't care anymore.
And I really ain't bothered what you think of me
'Cos all I want of you is just to let me be.
I don't care anymore D'you hear? I don't care no more

I don't care what you say
I never did believe you much anyway.

I won't be there no more
So get out of my way.
Let me by
I got better things to do with my time
I don't care anymore
D'you hear? I don't care anymore
I don't care no more
You listening? I don't care no more
No more
You know I don't care no more
no more no more no more....


Monday, November 02, 2009


Ah, it's Monday!!!!! Anthony and Juan are home from school today. Anthony has had a pretty good fever, aching and coughing. Juans achy.
Been going to the gym every day again, gonna try to go again today. My friend was there yesterday and I really needed to see them yesterday and we talked for over an hour. Was extremely nice =)
I didn't have any arguing this weekend. If I thought I was going to be snippy w. anyone I either went to the gym or just laid in bed and talked on the phone. This weekend I just couldn't handle stress or any sort of conflict, so avoidance worked. YAY!!
Kyle was nice enough to bring Savannah to my moms on Halloween so I could trick or treat w her some. Was very nice. She's adorable.
Was alone Saturday night, was kinda scared alone that late at night on Halloween. I had watched Ghost Hunters all evening and some of them, even though I had seen them, scare me.
Spending alot of time alone I'm learning alot about myself. I'm not as bad as I used to think as in worthless. It's people who can't get me to be what they want me to be who have problems with me. Or when I won't do something they want, or if I form my own opinion. I know Karma bites ya in the rear, it has gotten me a few times. But I noticed when I do good things, good things come back to me in ten fold.
I read this bible verse alot. A whole lot, it hangs by my bed. I finally got it.

“Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.”

If those things are not present in a relationship or you can't apply that in some way to your relationship, then there is no love.

Happy Monday

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Nobody's home

Well I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, whats wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
That's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go, to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you've left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
That's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go, to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's falling from grace.
She's all over the place!
Yeah!! (yeah)

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
That's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go, to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside.oh oh
She's lost inside, lost inside.oh oh

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

A little something

For all the mean people in my life =)

"Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again."- Og Mandino

"If we cannot be clever, we can always be kind."- Alfred Fripp

"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate."- Albert Schweitzer

"The only way to tell the truth is to speak with kindness. Only the words of a loving man can be heard."- Henry David Thoreau

"There is one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all one's life - reciprocity."- Confucius

I Started out to vent. The last week, I have dealt with quite a few very selfish individuals. They only care about themselves and then punish others if they go against what they want. If their needs can't be met etc. etc. I used to cry, but now I consider the source of these people. Don't talk to me, ignore me and please do me a favor and wash your hands of ME and I'll reciprocate. Punishing me, ignoring me etc, I left it behind in grade school.

Get a life and get a clue people and try nice on every once in awhile.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Happy Tuesday. I need to be doing 1,000 things because my week is so crammed full but I have no get up and go. It got up and went ..... Just gotta find it. Loving the fall weather, but hating the rain. Seems like the sun is a rarity lately.

Okay, if I'm restricting my comments to the weather I am in fact BORED LOL, that i think gave me my get up and go to get up and get some stuff done.

Happy Tuesday

xo xo


Wednesday, October 07, 2009

It's Wednesday YAY!

I'm a bit tired cause I stayed up later than normal but all is good.

Get to get out of the house today YAY! Keep my mind from thinking. Got alot on my mind. Tired of playing petty stupid games (mental) with people. Well, they play them and I then have to adjust to them. But.........Some good news... with every game I'm a lil more done than the last time, so all is good. As my mom called it, death by attrition I think it was.....It's happening.
I'm not in high school anymore, so the game thing is lame.
Entertaining somewhat but lame.
LOL I grew up with the best mental gamer ever LOL!

People like that play the games to compensate for things that they lack in themselves. Therefore it's some sort of sick gratification in hurting another. Whether they are jealous in some way, or they just want to keep the person from being something better than they are . My friend Chris told me a few mos ago......."If you didn't have someone constantly trying to keep a cap on you, the world would be the limit for you. Take the cap off and let yourself reach what you are. I believe in you."

I didn't get that for awhile, but now I do. Sometimes when i want to take a pic or something, I say "You know I'm not good enough", "What does it matter, I'll never amount to anything" "those aren't very good" But those are things others have said. I guess the cap that Chris talked about.......their words hold me back. Funny thing is I never hear the people who encourage me. Those are the ones I need to start listening too. It's just easier to believe the nay sayers. But then again that's a problem with themselves and really what good can ever come by constantly criticizing others. It may make you temporarily feel good but over all..........Epic Fail.

The Wizard of Oz sums it all up the best........

"A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others. "

And I have alot of people and then some that think the world of me =) and love me.

Happy Wednesday!
It's trash day!


Tuesday, October 06, 2009

It's Tuesday!

YAY! Kiddies go back to school tomorrow! Been kinda nice havin them around. Went to sleep yesterday a lil after 7..........was so bored and so lonely. One of my good friends has been texting me and calling me alot when I say I'm lonely, so that's really good. He's a big sweetheart and it's nice he always checks on me.
I still feel lonely lol but it does help. Hanging out with baby E helps in that dept. alot too. It gets me out of the house.

I gotta go to moms this morning and then I'm heading to the gym. I love working out and seeing my friends over there. Really good people. I think the gym is one of my favorite places on this earth. Weird thing to say, but I love it there.

Not much else of nothing going on. Thinking alot about things in the past. Things I wish I would've done differently. People I wish I would've never told goodbye. People I wish I would've never said hello to.......Things I wish I would've just done. How much time I have wasted on things and people that really aren't worth anything. How much time I have spent crying over people and things that aren't worth it. I guess reflection of sorts. But its healthy and helping me move forward. Which is never the wrong direction. I thought I would have alot more regrets, but I don't. I do have some. Some big ones..........My mistakes. I learn.

Aside from having my kids, if I was allowed one do over....Would be June 6th(not of this year) =) Best time I have ever had in my life.....Unforgettable =)
You want me to queen fo you? lol!

Happy Day

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Happy October!!!!!!!!

Having a very good week! YAY!!
I'm starting to come to know myself and starting to deal with alot of stuff.
I have decided to put myself first =)
I'm trying to figure out how people work and basically have decided to adapt a give what you get attitude. So I'll give exactly what I get =)
Makes things easier for me.

I'm tired of giving and getting nothing but crap.
(this excludes all my close family and friends cause they are the best ever)

I'm in such a good mood. De fleaing the dogs, cleaning, getting stuff together for moms neighborhood yardsale......It's a fantastic day.

Happy October.

Friday, September 11, 2009


Heading off to the gym. Meeting a friend there I have worked out with in the past. The sinus infection is fading, thank the Lord and I'm getting more energy!!
Happy Friday!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

For once

I'm not unhappy. This past week something changed in me. I'm not sure what. I just find myself very happy. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my house. I love sitting on the swing reading, I love my quiet bedroom, I just love it here. I love the no fighting I love the kids being happy. Kyle said this morning when he picked Savannah up that he hadn't heard Juan that happy in years.
Everything is slowly working out.

=) I'm just loving it!

I snuck off to the store, bought me some more gluten free brownies, baking them now, hiding any trace I ever made them at all and I'm going to hide them and eat one a day =) YAY!

Okay, have a fantastic day. I know I will


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Howdy on a Tuesday

Been cleaning ALL Day gag. Just finished, took a long hot shower and sitting down to relax before I have to go and pick up the boys. I packed up alot of stuff that didn't mean anything anymore, washed blankets and covers, washed windows..... I really did alot.
I even cleaned out my email box lol! Deleted emails I was saving for one reason or another. I just needed to throw them out and clean out my life, my house etc etc.
What a better way than to just to get rid of it! =)
Feels good to get alot accomplished. Trying to figure out what I wanna do for dinner. Bad part is, I don't wanna create dishes. I just got everything done. So I need think on this one.
My mom had a big August Birthday party the other day. I absolutley love her neighbors. I can't tell you all enough how wonderful this group of people is. It's like an extended family.
I was feeling low because my birthday was awful. Even if it wasn't my birthday on that day, it would've been a bad day. So I was down. In walks Quint with a huge pan of Gluten free brownies and cookies and a HUGE vase of flowers and a card just for me. I really was touched and it took alot not to cry.
I didn't expect it. It was wonderful.
We are planning an all adult party soon YAY!! =) This Sunday is another get together. I just have the best time around them, laughing and talking. Just the nicest bunch of people you ever did meet.
The world needs more of them.
Have had the radio on allllllll day long. I'm so happy today and I love life so much today. Just one of those fantastic days that is so good I don't want it to end.

Happy Tuesday Everyone.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Been awhile

A long, long while.
Not much been happening lately. Having a real struggle finding out who and what I want to be in life.
The summer went by fast.
I'm changing alot.
Last fall, I was so happy and full of hope
One year later I just find myself beaten down and full of nothing.
Completely and utterly lost.

The boys are going to Journey tomorrow with my brother.

I'm going to go clean.

Hope all is well.

I post more on facebook than I do here, let me know if you have a facebook.


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Been Awhile

Since I have updated. I guess the more things change, the more things stay the same....

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Happy Wednesday!!

YAY!! =)
Woke up in a fantastic mood.
Slept awesome!! A good friend of mine called at 2 am (i think) unless it was a dream. I remember talking about a subject, I should check my phone to see if it was a dream of if they did indeed call. I must've been sleeping heavily either way!! Hope I was well behaved and didn't sleep talk. That would be bad!!
Everything is going great here!! Working out every day. I have such a good time at the gym. Juans hooked up w hot guy to work out yesterday, he is getting built!! Melzie I'll show you some pics later. He's really getting buff!!
So, I'm gonna work out before I get Savannah that way I can goof off without worrying about daycare hours.
Then I guess it's off to moms for swimming =)
Okay, have a wonderful day everyone
It's indeed a good one here =)

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Happy Tuesday =)

Having a wonderful day =)
Hope all you are too......... off to the gym =)

Enjoy your day!!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Happy Monday =)

Hey, been awhile I know ... I'm doing fantastic =) I had a wonderful weekend. I think I laughed most of it. Everything is going great.

I'm thankful for all the good friends I have been making lately.
They truly are a great bunch of individuals and always are making me laugh.


Happy Monday to all

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

When She Loved Me.

Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all
Just she and I together, like it was meant to be
And when she was lonely, I was there to comfort her
And I knew that she loved me.

The song is first on the list.... you know how it ends, so no suspense!

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Happy Tuesday

Been kinda slow getting going. Going to go swimming I think at my moms. She's very achey. Hope it's not strep.
Watched the secret life of bees today. It made me cry. Alot.

I identified with it alot. Especially when they talked about how people deal with internal/emotional pain. Some keep it all bottled up inside and become angry and bitter, others cry and show it outwardly. Neither is wrong. It just shows how different everyone is.

Happy Tuesday


Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Happy Tuesday

Not much happening as of late. That's good for me. Waiting for school to be out. Tomorrow is the last day. I love summer.
Been swimming almost every day at moms since her pool opened. Been walking a lot. Can't complain.

Life is good


Sunday, May 31, 2009

Tomorrow is June =)

Elmer will be here this month!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Haven't updated in awhile

Everything is basically the same. My life has died down since Juans appendicitis and I'm glad to report my life is currently boring =) I will bask in it and enjoy it!
Hope all are doing well

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

It's Wednesday!!

=) Happy Day!! Tryin to get a hold of my hairdresssssssssserrrrrrrrr my roots are brown and ugly! I gotta look good for Derby!!!

Not much going on, Savannah will be here today and tomorrow and I'm so glad. I really miss her so much. After she's been here all week and leaves, I get very sad. I always dress her while shes sleeping for school and when she wakes up we fold her jammies and lay them on the bed. Every night I go in and see her lil jammies and get all teary eyed. I really miss her. It's very hard when you take a child you have spent every waking moment with and having to turn her over to someone else and not see her. It's hard. Very hard.

Okay, Have a wonderful swine fluless day!!!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Happy Tuesday =)

LOL On my I hate yous, Karen calls and "Dianna, who you hate" Asshats.......asshats are bad and evil. Asshat was giving me grief, suprise there.
I was extremely angry but have since gotten over it. He says really, really hurtful things on purpose to try to get my goat and so I blocked his email and deleted his email acct on my acct. He should've been more responsible after the divorce to get his own email addy and stop depending on me for one.
I don't feel bad after the things he said. As a matter of fact I wish I had 20 of them to delete. Maybe next time he will think twice before he insults me. Oh wait, he can't! I told him if he wished to contact me, it had to be done in a hand written note =) So that's what that was all about.

I honestly would not care if I did not hear the sound of his voice ever again in my life.

Everything else is on the up.

Getting ready to take Anthony to school and Juan if he gets out of bed. Guess I need to do like they did on what about bob. COCK A DOODLE DOOOOOO!

hope everyone is well


Friday, April 24, 2009


Hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.

My intent was to sit here and write it, til I wasn't angry anymore and to get it all out of my system. The internet isn't big enough.

So a last I HATE YOU to infinity.


Monday, April 20, 2009

Monday ugh

It feels like Monday. i'm soooo sick of rain and clouds. I need some sunshine. The meds the dr put me on make me sooooo tired. I sit here feeling like I'm in a stupor. I need to exercise, but I can't muster the energy. I'm trying to start back on my iron and stay on that habit because it does make a difference.
Savannah is at what's his faces. I miss her. He's driving me nuts with the head games he plays w Savannah. The other day Savannah wasn't crying or anything we were having a good time playing. I was her patient and she was trying to fix my tooth etc. Then we sat down popped pop corn to watch a movie together. She gets sleepy and said she wants to call daddy in case she falls asleep during movie. She's all happy go lucky talking to him and what does asshat say? I'm at Aspen creek ( a restaurant she has been wanting to go to ) with (miss asshat) and we are eating dinner together blah blah blah.... she starts bawling and screaming because she had been asking to go there. He did that on purpose, he could've just said he was out to eat. He knows the issues we are having here. So she cries for about an hour and a half over him being out to eat. I ask him why he does this and then he tells Savannah, he has to tell the truth...... Oh why start now?
Those are head games and why he chooses to play them is beyond me. Then I make sure she calls him and on Friday night she didn't call me. He's too stuck up (Miss asshats ) rear end and too focused on himself. I hope he enjoys the games, but he has to make sure Savannah wants to be with him and not here. He has to punish me in some way for the divorce and nothing HE can do would bother me cause Im THRILLED he is dating and out of my hair. So he has to use Savannah to get me back, which itself is pretty crappy.
Oh well Karmas a bitch.
Happy Monday.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

LOL Happy Wednesday

Funny stuff. Well, since the divorce I have had to cut way back on spending etc. I cut corners where I can. Yesterday I went to the grocery store and bought generic brand chocolate chip cookies.... the way they eat through them I figure "buy cheap" this morning I was at my computer and I hear Anthony and Juan in the kitchen talking. Juan picks the cookies up and is reading the label... I hear "Artificially flavored chocolate chip cookies? Whoa we are poor" then he says "Its pretty bad when you have to flavor a cookie to taste like a cookie"
I sat in here rolling. LOL! That is pretty flippin bad!

Happy Wednesday

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Its Toooooooooosday

UGH last night was awful. I didn't sleep a flipping wink. Once I fell asleep about 1 am Opie was asleep in the hall and was having a dream and his tail was banging against the door, then every hour I got woke up by this or that. I kept watching the clock and was thankful when 5:30 came around.
Juan was in a bad mood this morning and did everything possible to delay us. We left late (go figure) then got almost to Fairdale and a train was completely stopped on the tracks, so we had to turn around after 20 min of waiting there. It's like the morning went on and on.
The detective is supposed to go and see if he can get some of our stuff back at 10 am this morning. One of the ladies came up to the bus stop and talked to kyle crying asking if he was really pressing charges..... Um..... You guys stole over 2000 dollars worth of stuff, what do you think? She said they were just kids, but then said her friend told them to go back and get more...... Um Hello? So then the mom tells Kyle that her friend concocted a story that Kyle told them they could have the stuff..... We don't even know the woman or her kid. So anywhoo the detective is there at the house. I know we won't get all her stuff back or the rest of the stuff. The one mom was saying well that wasn't in there, that wasn't in there.... I know it was. Every single tupperware lid I had was back there..... I have none at my house... now my tupperware is useless. Savannahs clothes. Old clothes, too small clothes, summer clothes..... I know we wont get those all back and there were a ton. It's frustrating.
Hmm nothing else going on. Just getting entirely sick of rain.
Im kinda glad in some ways cause at least its cool. My van window is broke and it gets hot in there quick with no air. So that's a positive. When school is out I guess we are parking it.
I gotta go cancel my Y membership today and go grocery shopping.
Oh Joy Oh rapture.
For extra fun I had another tooth break and it broke down the middle and is KILLING ME. I guess he wasn't kidding when he said I needed crowns on all of them. Oh well I hope the nerve dies quick cause Im not payin to have it fixed.
Happy Whatever day it is.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Happy Monday

Howdy Howdy! Happy Monday! Haven't updated in awhile, been busy .... well, not really, just haven't updated much. Elmer sent me a new computer for Easter and I have been spending the evening updating it. It was really sweet. My old computer wasn't worth a hoot. It was a nice suprise. =)
He sent Savannah a bunch of flowers too the kind you plant outside. She was so excited. I can't wait to see what they look like.
Not much else going on. My van is breaking quickly, so we can't really go alot of places and don't have the money really to go anywheres. We stay home alot even tho everyone gripes about it.
Easter was nice. Nice and quiet.
It's storming. Imagine that, seems that's all it does anymore.
I'm not scared anymore so that makes it nice.
Happy day!
My sun is shining =)

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Happy Birthday Savanners!!

Today is my baby girls 7th birthday!! YAY!!! =)
Just seems like yesterday I was in the hospital waiting and waiting =)
We are having her a party in the park with good eats! She's so excited! I got her a baby dwarf hamster, she's gonna be so suprised when she sees him! it's a lil boy and I got him a pink palace! the boys did not like that so Juan was like at least get him so blue chewies. Too funny. She is gonna be tickled. I just hope shes careful cause Claire licks her chompers alot when she sees him.

Have had a hard week. I'm tired, been sick, allergies and sinuses.
Been down cause Elmer goes back to work tomorrow.
He moved back home when his dad got sick and now got a new job and has a long commute and I won't get to talk to him much.
Over the past couple mos he has kept me alot of company and I'm going to miss him extremely bad. He's my sunshine =)

Claire came in smelling like doody.. No expression there, she came in smelling straight up like dog crap. Well, she had it all over her back, all over her fur, omg it was poo all over like she had rolled in it. GAG
Needless to say I threw her in the tub and she got the bath of her life.
I had to bleach out the tub and what nots and gag it was gross.

Ummmm what else ????
I watched slum dog millionaire, it was sooooooooooooooooo good =)
Very good!

Okay Happy day and to my sunshine I love you =)
Have a great day =)

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Sunday Evening

My sun is shining =)
You know I love you

Trying to enjoy

my last spring break day. Had major allergies this morning even on all the meds. Im mad at kyle cause of course he didn't have savannah call me. I tried calling her yesterday and his girlfriends little girl kept burping into the phone and making rude noises.... @@ I was not amused and he could've told the little girl that that was rude....... but then again it takes him about 6 mos to get to the point of convincing you he's a nice guy then be mean to your kids... So, I have barely spoken to her all weekend.... She did tell me that her and his GF daughter sent daddy some quizzes like "Are you a pervert" Glad they are supervising what they do on the internet. He's not being a responsible parent and she was upset with him last week cause he pushes her off on others and was crying telling him she just wants to do stuff with him...He doesn't listen.
Savannah doesnt come back til Wednesday I tried to talk to her today but of course those kids were there and she was paying attention to them running around and wouldn't talk much.
I still hope every day he gets what's coming to him.
In a big, big way.
I really miss Savannah.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

It's Tuesday

Yesterday I did absolutely nothing in the evening. I spent the whole morning cleaning, changing sheets etc, etc....I had bizarre dreams last night. I dreamed that Juan's friend Chris, patrick, tyler and them were trying to help me burn down our old house. We were taking notebooks and laying lit cigarettes on them and the fire would start, but it would fall down the vents to the street and you could see them burning on the streets. My dad showed up and cut the carpet and replaced it, then told me to be more careful smoking.... Then my next dream, me and my mom found a surefire way to win the lottery, so we went in with UNO cards... yes UNO cards and rolled quarters.... We traded them in and expected to win 18,000 dollars and she was going to underbid me and we would split the 18 thou... how that system worked with the UNO cards and quarters I dunno, but someone on a computer out tricked us and we left without our UNO cards and quarters.... At least I got to spend time with both of my parents in my dreams LOL!! Was wild, wild, wild... O.o
Boys are both gone, Savannahs gone. Elmer kept me company on voice chat last night, but I was very lonely. Funny, when I moved out of the shelter, I was terrified of staying alone and always had Chuck stay over or go to Chucks... Then I met Kyle and had him stay over. I couldn't stay alone, I was terrified... Now..... Aside from the lonliness, I love being alone. I'm not scared. Not a bit. So that aspect is nice. About 11:30 last night I crawled in my bed, Claire jumped on my chest, Opie on my feet and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I was gone.... Doing bad things in my dreams... burning houses, trying to cheat money with my mother LOL!
Debautchery at it's best!
Happy Tuesday
Me =)

Monday, March 30, 2009

Happy Monday =)

Happy Monday everyone. Been a good weekend. Took me 3 days to get Savannah back to normal...only to have her going back to Kyles tomorrow. Anthony said Saturday "She talks to me and Juan just like Kyle did" Getting on them about eating food and stuff. I didn't even think about that, but she really did. Hope she outgrows that. We played a ton of games of Pop o matic trouble.... She's actually really good at that game and whooped up on me.
This morning I am scrubbing my house. Yesterday I felt like I didn't sit down. Run, run, run. I kept thinking yesterday was Saturday.
I need to start going to church earlier, because now that I'm so busy, it's hard to fit 5 oclock in. So I'm gonna find out what earlier services they have.
Not much else going on. Just dropping off or picking up kids from whatever location they are at.... it's tiring.
Spring break YAY!
Happy Monday

Sunday, March 29, 2009


Angry any more thank God. Man, when that anger hits me with this whole situation it hits hard. It's like I'm so mad at that boy, I'm so mad for at Kyle for not believing her.......just it all builds up. Yesterday was a wonderful day.... Mom stayed all night Friday. I had to watch Maddie Mayo and she was going to sleep over cause Roxanne was going out of town. Johnny and Angie came over, we watched the game, made some chili and had a good time.
Yesterday we went shopping and got Savannah a beautiful dress for Johnny and Angies wedding. We shopped alot, my poor momma was tired. My day didn't end til 6 then I crashed and sat in front of the puter a bit. Savannah and Maddie went to her house about 4, I took anthony to iisacs, Juan to Jordyns.... I felt like I drove all over God's green earth yesterday. Savannah wanted to come home about 8 cause of the storms, so I went and got her. She was quite upset about them, but i held her on my lap and explained how i knew when it was going to thunder lol! I think she was impressed. Mom asked me if I had my TV on yesterday to watch the weather..... I was like um no? I don't watch TV and I don't care about the weather anymore. Funny, how a few short years ago I was, I don't care. I spent so many years of my life worrying over weather and nothing ever happend. A mere waste of time.
Savannah fell asleep on my lap, I put her in bed and I got on the puter til about 11 then I crashed out.
Today is gonna be busy again.
Happy Sunday

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Grrrr Grrr Grrrrrrrr

You know sometimes I wonder why when it rains, it pours. I can't quite figure out the logic behind that but it is true.
I'm angry this morning.
Okay....... Lets see where to begin....
First off, Asshat and I as you know recently split households up. Savannah was going to dance and we rearranged her custody and asshat said when dance was over we would arrange it back........ Dance wasn't over, but ....... she had to quit and asshat won't fix it back..
Okay, the dance issue...Savannah told me something happened at dance. Something involving an older boy.......She was crying, upset, didn't want to go back.... We then spent time with detectives, etc......
My asshat ex husband doesn't believe her. The lady told me she needs therapy,because she won't tell them what happened and she needs alot of time and someone she can trust to talk to. Savannah still insists something happened. But asshat says this morning he can't afford it and he doesnt think she needs it cause she is "normal" This is the idiot who still wanted to force her into going to dance.... Pretty sad, not taking something like that seriously. He said "Lets take her back and see how she acts around him" Okay..... Real smart asshat... Then he tries to say she said it cause I hate dance.... I have no clue where he got the idea I hated dance. I used to take her every Saturday and watch her, I loved it and I loved going.. I only stopped going because his mother was paying for it all and everytime we got in the car an arguement started, so I figured since his mom was covering the bill of it all, he's the one that should take her. I said I hated dance ONCE and once only. I actually thought she was very good at it and was proud of her... but you know, he's got to have a story to tell his family... They know NOTHING about what happened in our household. He only tells them I played computer.... LOL boy would their hair curl if they knew everything that went on. Bet he didn't tell them about the time he burst into my room at 4:30 in the morning screaming at me to take a picture of his winky for his website........ I bet they never heard about any of what he said that night.. I'm so freaking pissed off......It's unfreaking real.
Then again i forget this is the asshat who held my son up against the wall by his neck choking him a few time, til savannahs screaming stop it made him stop....... an asshat is an asshat.... Also the same asshat who shoved me down the hall way and screamed at me til I was curled up in a fetal position begging him to stop.... why would he believe anything happened to savannah??
It it walks like an asshat and talks like an asshat.........
So then Savannah comes over on Tuesday, I was sooooooo glad to see her. What does she say? I didnt want to come over here, daddy said i can call him every minute.... so she screams to call him. I sit down to play with her, she screams and screams to call him because "GASP" I don't have anyone to play with here and can't take her out to texas roadhouse like asshat does. Asshats girlfriend has kids, so he has them come over to play or takes them to his mothers and sisters for free entertainment.... Okay so we play a bit, make dinner, do some gardening, go walking and we get home she gets in the tub. I sit down for 5 seconds and she starts screaming because I sit down.... So I give up and just go to bed. Then I pick her up yesterday I had plans to sit down with her , eat dinner, watch American Idol with her, etc.......... What does asshat do?? Sends her a text about the cats playing etc after he told her her cheering makes them win....... So we had made cookies, we ate dinner together. I told her Maddie couldnt come over, I wanted to just spend time with her and when people are around, she's not with me..........So she screams at me she wants to call daddy..........She calls him and starts screaming to him that OMG I didn't let her watch the cats play on TV i was making her watch something else. WTF does he have to interfere with my time with her.... so I turn the game on where she starts screaming like a rabid pit bull at the TV (gee wonder who does that) I mean screaming loud (gee wonder who does that) ... I try to have her do kid things and noooo she wants no part, she has to help the cats win... @@ So finally I get her to play princess monopoly with me, where Claire decided she wanted to play too... she stretched out all over the board... and we finally some how got through a game... She wanted to call asshat again and tell on claire, but I told her no, no calling. So then we play Yahtzee for a bit, she's finally getting back to a normal kid and laughing and playing and having fun... then the cats lose and she gets upset..... I just wanted to crawl in a hole because she is changing into a child that I don't know. He's playing headgames with her just to get me back cause I didn't love him... Who could ever love an asshat? Not to mention had he not abused my boys, maybe we'd still be together.... He needs to make a mental note, that calling wifes other children, retarded and stupid and then choking them against a wall are bad things to do. But it was my fault, so make me pay by playing head games with a 6 year old. Then arguing that she doesn't need counseling because in his world, no body does bad things to's all hunky and dory and I wouldn't be suprised if he tried to take her to the recital and be around the boy again. Because why?? Asshats don't have brains.
Im very angry at him. Moreso angry than anyone I have been at in my life. I think he's a horrible person and seeing what he did to my kids. Anthony said the other day "Kyle took me off his facebook"... i said anthony did you expect any different... He said no he never did like me anyways. So ........ Good job father of the year asshat...

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Not much going on, just doing laundry and recleaning clean stuff. Walking around in circles some. Feel emotionally drained today. I'm tired. Gotta get Savannah today and my car isn't doing well at all. Any day it's going to be gone. I have asked my dad to do the tranmission fluid thing a few times..... I can't do it myself. I don't even know what type I put into my car. Anyone in Louisville, who's on city trash know what number to call to figure out this yard waste thing? I don't know who to call and have a ton of leaves i need picked up.
Gotta go to the dentist tomorrow and give him money that I don't have.

Oh boy I can't wait.

Happy day.
Although it's not happy, its easier pretending it is.


Monday, March 23, 2009

Pissed off

today so I needed a new pissed off song. Plus I love the song.
Happy Flippin Monday.
I hate em.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Video makin me cryyyyy!! Oh noes!

Saw this on the today show and found it on you tube. So sweet and ugh just made me cry. Cry, cry, cry LOL

Friday, March 20, 2009

Okay, family... Who started it?

I have noticed this for awhile on a few members of my family.... I don't know how it started. Who started it, but so far I have heard everyone but Sandy May do it.... The TRIPLES!!!!!! I do it! My mom does it the most out of anyone I talk to.
What's a triple you might ask..... Owooo, Owooo, Owooo!
I have never heard anyone else outside our family do this, so it has to just be us and our weird cultist ways.
Like I said my mom does it all the time. Lordy, Lordy, Lordy is her most frequently used triple... The other day I went to Mary O' Leafs and her and Juan were talking and she said that's wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.... Curl a month or so ago, I called told her I could make it to church, she lets out a first high pitched Good! there's a pause and then there's a good, good, good!!
Today, while cleaning Karen's, Tommy had called and I could hear her and she said Oh Cool, cool, cool!! What's with this? I have tried to stop the triples, but I can't. I don't know what it is.... is something more emphasized when you add 2 extra words? Do we just love words that much? It's really funny when you think about it. All them extra words, words, words! Do the Lindsey girls do this? this, this, this? What about the boys? I haven't spoken with Sandy much, since I noticed the triples... Sandy do you do this?
It's really quirky and cute, even if I don't know why any of us do it.
Have a wonderful Friday.
Love, love, love

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

And even a bit better today =)

I think all the stress of moving and such hit me hard and I'm slowly getting into a routine. All the driving. OMG. I drive so much and my van is going downhill quickly. Mom has been letting me take her car some, which is a huge relief. Yesterday I took all the kiddies to the park. Juans girlfriend met him up there, Anthony found some friends up there. They all hung out, played ball. Me n Savannah went for a walk and she loved all the joggers. Let me tell you, this close to the mini marathon there were a TON of joggers and people. There were people everywhere. They got some new play equipment and Savannah had a blast on it. We were up there for about 2 hrs and came home and cleaned up leaves in the front yard. God, I love this house. I absolutely LOVE it. It's the cutest one on the street! After we did the yard, we ate supper and then I gave her a nice long bath. She was filthy. About 9:30 I sat down to get some me time on the computer and she was not happy. I rarely play on the computer anymore and anytime I do I feel like someone is giving me crap about it. That is what I do to relax and I didn't get on til late, late... I don't see what the big deal is. I don't watch any TV. Our TV in the living room has rarely been on.
I went and picked up her bike at Jannas and I think we are going to the park again and I'm gonna let her ride her bike. It was so gorgeous out yesterday.

Okay, I'm off to clean. I'm on a mission and then I think I'm gonna put something in the crock pot and take a nap.

Happy Wednesday


Monday, March 16, 2009

A lil better today

I think I had Savannahs cold over the weekend. My nose just was awful and no matter how many tylenol sinus I took it was still awful. I had a few dizzy spells. I think I just have to let those settle down again. I'm just very discouraged they are back and I wonder am I going to have to do this for the rest of my life.
On a brighter note, the kids may not like it here, but I love it. I love everything about this house and it's like it was made just for me. I love my room, I love my tub. I love it.
There's no yelling. Not even I yell here. There's no fighting. There's quiet and peace. I just love it. Even the dogs love it.
I don't wanna move from here. I really, really don't. It just suits me.
Yesterday I was having an awful day. I had alot of financial things, tooth problems, headache, Savannah was sick........ I just couldn't take anymore stress. Savannah on Friday, had a sleepover. I had Maddie May and Sophia come over and stay the night. They had a blast and stayed up well until after 1 am... Saturday, Sophia had a birthday party and Savannah and Maddie went to that and she stayed til 8 when she called upset and wanted to come home. I picked her up, her eyes were goopy, she was coughing and sneezing. Just a bad cold. We didn't make it home 3 min and she was konked out. I explained to her yesterday that we couldn't do anything. She didn't feel well, I didn't feel well and I just had no money. She pouted all day. Said alot she was bored and what have you. I felt bad, but nothing I could do. Even if I would've had money we all needed to stay home and get better. The day wears on and she talks to Kyle........ This is where I get angry.... She tells him she's bored and there's nothing to do...... What does he tell her? He's going over to sprinkles to see the puppies and play w/ mimi and allie and all that stuff, just making a huge deal out of it. So she starts bawling cause she can't go. She hangs up and I said what's wrong? She said "Daddy said he's going to sprinkles to play with all the dogs and going to play with mimi and Allie" Why couldn't of he just said, he's going to aunt sprinkles? Why on Gods green earth does he have to soup it up. I know he's very competitive, he used to get way out of sorts with his sisters over different things. If they got something better or time or blah blah... So, I'm wondering if he's now carrying the competition over to Savannah. Who can do the most with Savannah. Too bad for him, he wins with me not competing. She's not visiting when she comes here, this is her home. If we can't do something every day, then we can't do something every day. It's a sad part of life. If he gets her to where she expects to do something at his house every day, he's in for a world of hurt one day.
Either way, I was just mad because he had to gravy it up. She eventually got over it. I let her use my camera to take pics of everything and she had a good time. We snuggled in bed and went to sleep. She was completely unharmed in a day of having to stay home! GASP! I'd give my eye teeth (literally anymore) to have someone make me stay home for a day. PLEASEEEEEEEE DO!

Okay, off to pick up the boys from school.
Happy day

Sunday, March 15, 2009

I'm Depressed

I just can't figure out the whole point to my life. I'm down. I'm out of money, I'm tired. We are all sick again with a cold and some pink eye for extra fun. I'm lonely.
Last night I get a phone call from Juans dad. Juan told him he wanted to come live with him because GASP I MOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he didn't like it. He will have to go to Fairdale which from what I hear is like being sent to hell. (according to him) Everyone is pissed because I moved. I had no choice.
Anymore I don't care. I told him, you know if you want to go and live with your dad just go.
I can't do all this anymore. I'm tired. I have wracked my brain 20 different ways and sideways to figure out how I'm gonna afford to get them all to school tomorrow and all they can do is complain. Don't wanna eat what I cook, don't wanna sit home because they are bored. Blah blah blah complain complain.
I just can't take anymore.
I think my life is pointless. If there is a point I sure just don't see it. It's nothing but constant stress, chaos and worry.
I just don't understand.
I just don't care.
Screw today.

Thursday, March 12, 2009


UGH! Ever since I had that flu, I have not been right. Right after my flu, then I got an infected tooth thingy. I had to go to the dentist and I was white knuckling the chair the whole time. I was so freaking dizzy. I mean majorly dizzy to the point I was bawling. He had to get to a point where he could stop and let me leave. I went swimming at the YMCA somehow went under water and got tons of water in my ear and I couldn't get it out. Now I am back to being majorly dizzy. Im so mad. This morning I went and got tylenol sinus took them, taking my antibiotics, I got some zyrtec to switch too. I don't want to relive that whole dizziness crap again. Im so freaking angry and tired. I just want the dizziness chapter of my life freaking closed. I say so many prayers but they don't work. I mean I have been praying for that for that for over a year and it's just not working. Nothings working. So anyone out there please say prayers for me, maybe he will hear yours. I can't take it anymore and it's making me depressed

Sunday, March 08, 2009

I LOVE Nails!!!

Who ever knew they had hugely long nails! This is a new concept to me. These old people know how to do it!! Okay, so I moved into a house. An older house. The kids all went goo goo ga ga over the pencil sharpener attached to the wall. Me? The NAILS!! There are so many cleverly placed nails in the closets, in the pantry... OMG I Love it!! Anytime I don't know where to put something, I think I bet there's a nail somewhere for this or for that and OMG The stuff fits perfectly. The lady who lived here before me was a genius!! Her nail placement skills were off the freaking hook!! I will have to take a pic and show you. I'm sadly running out of nails. I am deeply saddened by this and I know if I try to place them myself it will not be the same. I needed a place to hang my broom last night and out of the corner of my eye spotted a lone nail.... I ran over and OMG the broom even had a hole for this nail. It's like they were MFEO =)

Yesterday I hate teeth, today I love nails....
LOL I blogged tooth and nail HA HA !!!

Happy Sunday

PS my cousin is a sicko, she shot my dog in the eye with corn and thought it was funny. Poor puppy was just wanting a bite to eat and she was over at the table just a gigglin, I'm thinking what's so funny? Tommys thinking it's him, I'm thinking its me...then she says through her laughter, I bit my corn and the juice shot opie in the eye and then mocked how he jerked back and his eye motions.......What brought me to this is, I'm eating corn and just did the same thing to the opposite eye!! He's gonna get cornjunctivitis!

Saturday, March 07, 2009

I hate teeth

I got another infected tooth. Went to the dentist, on a ton of antibiotics. Work will be done on Monday if Kyle/Cobra stuff is straight. It hurts. Yesterday I felt so awful, I cried all afternoon. Kids were all gone, I was bored and lonely. Karen came over and we went to lunch. Dad dropped in for about 5 min and other than that, I cried all day.
I don't know why I can't be like everyone else with their teeth. For some reason mine just have to go to extremes. As much as I brush and floss, I shouldn't have any trouble at all.
I'm getting ready to go to moms and then to the store. Karen and Tommy I think are coming over tonight for dinner and some games or something.
Happy day

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Howdy on Thursday!

OMG, been so stinking busy it's unreal. I clock 75 miles a way abouts dropping everyone off at their schools. I don't get home til after 9 every morning and leave out shortly before 7. Juans been getting to school on time so thats good. Today I had to go to Karens to clean. She's down with the flu so I went to the store and got the stuff to make her a pot of white chili. I cooked it while I cleaned. We chatted the whole time and then watched Jeff Dunham and I had to head out to get Juan. I had a really good time with Karen today! No Furby WOOTS! After I got Juan I got some more stuff at the store for some more white chili cause the boys want some. So came home, showered, cleaned my whole house, did 2 loads of laundry, made the chili. Sitting down now to eat then heading to the YMCA to work out. When I get home gonna spend some time with Elmer, haven't gotten to talk to him too much. Savannahs w/ Kyle this weekend so I have the whole weekend to do nothing! I'm looking forward to it. I may watch some movies or something. I asked Karen to go out so if she's feeling better we may. Also church on Sunday, which Im looking very forward to!
Okay, gotta eat and run
Happy Thursday!

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

And last but not least....

The bathroom is now done. The boys room still isn't finished, but they are both old enough to do it themselves. They are counting on me to unpack their boxes and I am afraid they are sadly mistaken. Pics to come when they unpack! Here's my lil bathroom! And a PS, I'm FINISHED! no more boxes, nothing, it's all done. I have a few things to get at the other house, but I'm completely DONE =) I worked 12-15 hrs a day to get it all done. Persistence pays off. So now drop in, it's done and clean!

My room =) YAY!

Just finished it!
I have 2 closets so it worked out w/ me not having a dresser. They are cedar lined too so YAY!!

YAY living room is done =)

I am loving my new house. It is sooooooo flipping cute. Everyone that comes over says how cute it is. Me n the plumber were talking this morning and he said, this house is very cute. I was like I KNOW!!! I love it. This morning I got up at 5 am, got Anthony to bus, got Juan to school on time =) YAY! Progress! Alot of driving, but progress!! Okay, here's my living room. I love my couch =) I cleaned houses and saved my own money for that thing and I LOVE IT. Makes me appreciate it much more when I worked my bum off for it. I don't have pics up yet and very old lady curtains. I gotta save up some cash for some new curtains and figure out what to do with the walls. I love the new carpet too. I have remnants of it down in places so it stays new for awhile. Everything in the house is pretty much brand spanking new!

Monday, March 02, 2009

A couple of new house pics

Anyone who was here the day I moved, knows what kind of progress this is LOL
The house is small but very homey. Stop in.

First is Savannahs room. I sanded and painted that dresser myself =)
she has so much stuff, it looks crowded but actually she has a whole side I didn't get a pic of and a very big closet
Here's my kitchen
Ill send more tomorrow =)

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Got moved

Sigh. I'm plum wore out. Yesterday I stood and unpacked and packed for 15 straight hours. When I sat down at the puter to play Monopoly w. Elmer I almost dozed off at puter. I crawled in bed and konked. HH gregg gave me a 6 am wake up call to let me know my stove would be here between 1 and 4. I went back to sleep.
Mom came over and Sue came over and today I have not sat down. 5 min here or there. Mom got us some lunch. Im trying frantically to unpack and get this stuff done. It's a mess and I can't take the mess. On any level.

Okay, my breaks over. I have a bad headache. I'm half wondering if I have a sinus infection from that flu. Flu is all gone =) It's last weeks news LOL

Okay, come see me when you get a chance.


Wednesday, February 25, 2009


Have I mentioned lately I hate winter? You know back in the day I used to hate summer... Why? I dunno, but now I hate winter. I don't like the illnesses that go with it.
My flu is getting better in the respect that I don't have a fever. Although my left tonsil is killing me and it's beet red. That ear still is clogged up.
Facing a problem.... I had some tooth work done on Dec 29th. I was supposed to have had it finished like a month ago. Kyle/ COBRA etc etc... my paperworks still not done. Its way over due.
So what happens? Of course it's me... Kyle kept his filling in for 6 or more mos no problems ever... Me?????? 6 weeks and mine breaks falls out. I see a cotton ball it hurts. Im dizzy as heck and have to go today to have a nother temporary put in til they get this crap straightened out.
Im stressed to the flipping max, Im terrified of laying with my heels over my head in that chair. I'm afraid of dizzy.
I don't feel well, Savannah is feeling better but all her toys are packed up and she is driving me crazy today. She didn't go to school we went to the new house. She wants to go to the Y and no matter how I try to explain we can't go when we have the flu she doesn't wanna hear it. Shes bored. I have tried watching movies she doesnt want to..
It's really stressing me out with nothing here for her to do and we can't go out in public. Maybe the trip to the dentist will entertain her.
Doubtful, maybe my screaming will if they flip me too far upside down.
Too bad it's not Christmas so I can say Bah humbug.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Ugh Miserable

My fever broke this morning. Finally. Anthony's back at school, still coughing though. Savannah is now home with a high fever and coughing. I still feel like crap, and of course like clock work, my throat hurts so bad, my tonsils are swollen, blocking my eustachian tubes causing fluid to build up...What's this mean... I'm pretty flipping dizzy and I'm pretty flipping mad. Of all flipping weeks for dizziness to come why now. I wanna say some curse words really bad, but I have done so well on nut saying them. I'm mad, very, very mad. Just pray hard please that it goes away. I have got too much to do this week to be knocked on my butt with this crap. I gobble cough drops with extremely boiling tea while sniffing vicks vapor rub. I am using nasal drops.... I have some meds to take but will knock me out and I can't do that with Savannahs fever being so high. She got sick yesterday and I was really worried with Kyle having her, but I have to say he did a really good job giving her motrin and taking care of her. Really good job. So that's pretty sweet. Okay off to sniff nose drops, chase the tea with the cough drops while sniffing vicks... Feels like a weird drinking game. Oh Johnnys taking IN bar exams today and called last night with the chills and aches, so pray he doesnt have it too. UGH It's a big beast this year.
Pray pray pray and then come see my new house, well I'd wait a week or so til we are all cleansed....It's so homey you won't wanna leave! =)

Monday, February 23, 2009

It's 5 am

Been up for about 20 min, My fever is 101 and I woke up just feeling like someone was kicking me in my eye balls. I tried to walk to the bathroom to pee and ugh I felt so funny. I felt like I was rubber. My ears hurt, my nose hurts, my fingernails hurt. It hurts to lay in bed.
I see now how old people get in the hospital from the flu. It knocked a 17 year old on his butt... I figured it would be bad the way it took him out, but man oh man. I wasn't prepared. I just keep counting down til Tuesday that's when Anthony felt a lil better. My eyes hurt so bad. I can't express, feels like someone took screwdrivers to them and I also don't feel like I'm sitting here writing this. Oh the joys of flu.
Happy Day.
Pray we are all better soon


It's midnight, I'm up with the flu so bad. Fever, so achy I can't walk. This year was a doozy. Today, I have been in a fog. I needed some meds and I don't even know how I made it up to valu market. Anthonys fever today was down to 100. He was putting on concerts in his room, so I'm thinking that means he's on the mend. I talked to Savannah who is coughing, Kyle says she's not sick, but she's coughing and told me she didn't feel well.... Either way I hope it's not this crap.
I watched Miss Pettigrew lived for a day, it was pretty good. From what I remember of it anyways. I was so in a fog today, more so than yesterday.
OKay, gonna crawl back to my hole and sleep. Im sure Ill have to take Juan to school in the morning. I asked him to please, please catch his bus so I don't have to go out, but I know how that goes.
Happy day

Saturday, February 21, 2009


Sigh. I now have the flu. Fever, achy, even my hair hurts. Anthonys still in bed day 2 fever of 103. I hate the flu. I hate winter. I hate sick. I have too much to do this week to freaking be sick. All the hand sanitizer or bleach in the world couldn't of saved me. =( Im super depressed. The flu takes so long to recover from where as a cold is over kinda quick. I don't look forward to the morning because as the hours drag on I feel worse and ugh.


Pray for us please.

Friday, February 20, 2009


Sigh. I'm tired and not feeling too hot at all. Keep getting dizzy, have been alot lately. It really makes me angry and I will be glad to get to a point in my life where I don't have to be dizzy anymore.
Anthony hasn't moved out of bed all day. I went in and poked him with a broom a few times to make sure he was okay. Just kidding on the broom thing, I did go in but very carefully. He has the actual flu and I don't want it. Says his legs hurt and he just lays there. I already know I'll be sick on moving day. Which makes me even happier that I hired movers. I will be glad when winter is over, school is out and people keep their germs to their selves.
Packed up a ton of stuff. Im now officially out of boxes and to be honest a lil sad. Everything looks so bare around here. Just nothingness.
I'm so drained... Kyle left a bunch of stuff here, and Im trying to keep my cool about it, was just stacking it out back. My dad came and got the table and savannahs toys I dont want to put on that back porch. I have them stacked by the door and asked him if he could come pick them up. Simple request.... He will be less than a block from my house and just has to poke his head in the door and get them. Why in God's name does he have to make everything so hard and stressful.... I can pack them up and take them to my new house gladly.... Here is our email exchange... It could've been made simple by yes I will. Now, I'm stressed over a simple flipping question.... UGH

there any way u can stop by and pick up a afew of her things that i keep having to work around that go to your house? everyone keeps trying to pack them up. they will fit in your car its the hannah montana box and the play doh and a couple other stuffed animals from your sister and stuff

I can, but I would prefer to wait until you guys are better.

kyle come on u will be inside 5 minutes....but whatever i understand its hard to walk inside a door and take 5 min to pick something up and i realize that's hard for you.

No it’s not, is it on the porch or where. I can come by when I pick up Savannah from the bus. But I have to be somewhere around 5 to make a delivery for work.

its right by the door

Ok. I will come and get it. I wasn’t trying to be lazy, but you were saying you guys were really sick and I don’t want it.

i know but its right by the door its not like you have to lick anthony. i had something different i had the stomach flu the other night which is now gone

Oh I thought all 3 of you were sick

juan just had a sore throat and a temp. , mine was stomach virus i ran a fever yesterday and feel a liil better today fever is gone for the most part. Anthony is the one with the actual flu

I thought all 3 had the flu Anthony has.

Nooooooooo not yet, juan may have had it... Im not sure. No one has been as sick as anthony. He may have taken it harder. we are all sick yes and why the hell are we going back and forth with this? It's pcking up freaking boxes for God sake, we didn't breathe on them . If you want technicalities we are sick. We aren't dead, not close to death but sick. what the more do you want, blood counts? throat cultures?


We are all sick. Even Anthony is home today with a fever of 100. Savannahs not sick, thank God. She called me last night crying for about 30 minutes wanting to come home. It broke my heart. We had a really good weekend together and it's hard to spend so much time with one of us then go back to the other. That's what I was trying to tell Kyle.... it's hard on her to get used to one place, then have to go to another so in both of our best interests we need to go back to the original agreement. I missed her too horribly.
Happy Day and stay away from our house. We are germy.

Movers will be here Friday


Thursday, February 19, 2009

It's almost Friday

Today I didn't do anything. I started feeling bad last night and today have felt weak, sluggish, achy. Tonight I was cold and just took my temp 99.4. So, I guess I have a touch of something. Still packing to move. Sigh. Just seems there aren't enough boxes and I need a ton. I'm bored. Savannah is at Kyles and I miss her horribly. I keep telling him I want to go back to the custody schedule we agreed upon and only altered it for dance... dance is over and I want to go back. He gets her for 5 days in a row and that's totally unfair, but of course when I brought it up this week nothing. So, like with everything, I have to just tell him I'm doing it and do it. No reason to ask him, he will procrastinate, it's in the divorce papers, if he doesn't like it then oh freaking well.
I guess tonight Im gonna hop in bed early. Im tired and bored, so .... bed I guess is a good thing.

Happy Friday.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Things that go bump in the day....

Okay, so I have started cleaning houses again and today I had to do Karens. Now at your own house, you know what things are where and what things do what etc. etc...... When you go into someone elses house and no one is home and it's's weird so to speak. Karen asked today that I do her window sills...Okay, not a big deal... or so I thought. I did her living room window sill and there was this Furby and he went off, not only scaring the crap out of me, but the thing would NOT shut up..... OMG I was like wtf? How you turn this thing off, it needed a screw driver to get the batteries out and I couldnt see real well if there was an off on switch. So I listen to him for 15 min, just when I thought he was finally shut off, he would come on again. I found a Darth Vader Mask on the couch and put it on my head and took on the Furby, I found this black and blue thing on the floor that made a noise and I knocked old Furby around for a few.... I'm 100% serious that this thing was getting on my ever loving nerves. Like I need a xanax nerves....I kept the mask on for a bit and then found the rest of the costume... I actually tried it on... it fit =) So there I was walking around karens in full Darth Costume, even boots on it, helmet on taking on this stupid Furby.. I said "Furby, I am your Father" then said Young padawan what is your fate....Scooped him up by his lil grubby ear and locked him in the refrigerator.... I COULD STILL HEAR HIM!~ How is that possible for 15 min he was in that fridge saying "Ohhhhhh HIDE" I had my drink in the fridge and really wanted it and knew what lurked for a drink. I tried to softly pry the fridge open to get my drink and as soon as the door open that SOB Furby started with his chants again... ring RING RINGGGGGGGGG I shut the fridge and for 15 min heard him in the fridge zzzzzzzzzzzz ing and then ringing. Karen the next time Im scheduled for your house if that thing is there, I'm charging double. I did take the costume off and laid it on his bed ... It was a very cool costume =P I left her house and sadly forgot to take Furby out of the fridge... Sorry... (not really) I'm finally home, I went to qdoba and got some eats. I was so hungry... I have about 10 min to eat get a shower then go get Juan.
Last night I took, Savannah, Maddie May, Alissa, Aleah, Patrick and Juan to the YMCA. Im trying to keep Savannah extremely busy to get her mind off things. All the girls wanted to rock climb so we did that, then they did crafts and played in Y world.... Then at 8 after I worked out I got them all out of the Y world and took them all swimming. They had a blast and all konked out in the car on the way home. I rolled home at 10:30 last night. I was only home for 1 hr yesterday from 930 til 1030 at night.
I'm plum exhausted.

Happy Wednesday.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The day was LONG

So today was horribly long. Savannah had her appt with the psychologists. From what I understand after this next appt, then she meets with the forensics people. I'm confused as to how that works. I thought this appt was with forensics, but it wasn't. She did however say she will meet with them in time.
It was a very long draining day for us. Savannah crashed and burned in the car.

I think tonight we are going to the YMCA to go swimming. I called her friends and they are going to come with us. That was she can hang out and do normal kids stuff after a tough day.

Happy Tuesday.
Her next appt is the beginning of March, so keep praying for her.


Monday, February 16, 2009


I made it through the day. I sanded and painted Savannahs dresser that my aunt sue gave her. Still needs another coat, but that's all I can do for today. I also packed quite a bit. Im running out of places to put things.
Kyle and I are slowly working out the bill issues. I need more movers to give me quotes and no one wants to call or email me back with an itemized list.
I had what looked to be skin floating in my hot chocolate and I'm freaked out. I dunno what it is. So if I die tell them to check the skin on the kleenex. I didn't drink it after I found that but still took a drink. Gag and Gag.
Savannahs appt is in the morning, I pray I have strength to not panic down there. I wish the anxiety would go away. Maybe after I get moved and then things calm down some it will get better. If not, I need to go get on some anti depressants.
My dad came over and gave me a whole set of cordless phones for the new house YAY!! Oh and some bubble wrap YAY!!
That's about all I can think of this evening. I just wanna sleep, but everything is so weird with the walls empty and so on and so on.

Have a good evening


You know, I wish to God above that I would never have to talk to Kyle ever again in my life. I think on my long list of top stress he's my number one. Whether it be him trying to put Savannah in a bad situation..... to saying he paid off bills that he did NOT pay off and then trying to get out of it.
I can't take him. Not on any sort of level. I hate lying, I hate being told somethings been done then calling only to find out that it hasn't been done. It's frustrating esp when I have a week to get this taken care of.
I had about 20 panic attacks yesterday and somehow managed to get to church and was so relaxed there I almost fell asleep.
I have free floating anxiety today and the more I get on the phone trying to do stuff figuring out what he has done or not done I start shaking yet again.

I will be glad when all ties are cut with him and I only have to see him picking up Savannah or dropping her off.

God, I need strength to deal with that man.

Grumble, grumble on a Monday

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Sunday Stressin

Sigh. I'm sleepy. Yesterday we stayed busy the whole day. I took Savannah to see the movie Coraline. It was one of the best movies I have seen in quite some time. It was in 3d and Savannah would jump when things would come out. The girls loved it. Absolutely loved it. As did I. We then journeyed over to moms where I cleaned and accidentally fell asleep for a few on her couch. I was so worn out. Then we went to eat lunch at Burger King. After that, we went to the YMCA I worked out a bit and Savannah and Alyssa played in the Y world. Then we all went swimming for awhile. They had a really good time. After that we had Valentines Day Dinner at Steak n Shake.... Then off to walgreens and we finally got home at 10 PM. We were gone from 10 til 10. Long day.
Today, I'm stressed. Mom is encouraging me to hire movers to move me, but I can't justify hiring movers when I don't have a couch, a stove or microwave..... I don't have money to do all these things. But, when all is said and done I can't get any definites on helping me move, so looks like I am forced into hiring movers and just will have to get a microwave and cook out of there for awhile. Couch, I guess isn't something I "need" I have been without one since Kyle left and we all just watch TV in our rooms. I have been trying to pack... Kyle never did get all his stuff, i guess he just figured I would pack his stuff with mine and have him come get it... gee Suprise there....him not do something? So not only am i packing my stuff, packing his stuff up and just ugh. Im out of boxes. I don't know where to put everything.
Just totally overwhelmed.
I need some peace.
Happy Sunday

Friday, February 13, 2009


Hi everyone... Happy Friday. Things are going a lil better here. The initial shock is worn off and now my brain is trying to process everything.

Savannah had a friend over for dinner, they are down stairs eating. Pork chops, mashed potatoes, corn, mac n cheese and for desert smores.
They are doing after dinner songs now, it's cute.

Trying to pack and get ready to move. Packing is such a hard job and ugh I don't enjoy it.

Okay, have a great weekend everyone.


Thursday, February 12, 2009


I'm so tired. Feels like I have been running marathons. Emotionally drained. I went and did a lil bit of shopping this morning to just get out of the house. Came home and slept.

Prayers still welcomed.


Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I'm about to pull my hair out

Seriously. I'm so angry, I feel like I need to go to the Y and just punch those baggies they have set up. We have alot going on here, I can't go into any detail what so ever for a whole lot of reasons. Things could be so much easier than they are in the difficult time, yet people are hell bent on making them harder.
I'm trying to understand logic behind what people think, what more than one person thinks. There is no logic to their way of thinking.
Kyle basically said I was a bad mom...... Because of yet again that year i was sick and he says " A year?" Like it was longer. I took her everywhere and did everythign with her. I have taken her to every dr appt she has had, I have taken her to every hospital visit she has had. I have been to all her school functions, every play, every thing. Other than last year when I played computer or slept ... when was i ever bad? I missed lunch one day, but she says he missed dinner more than once.... so does that mean he's bad too? When she had all those ear infections and was sick last year too more than normal, who took her to the dr? I think it was me every single time. I never NOT took her. Even when I had to borrow the money from my mom to take her cause he "Didn't have it" So if he thinks he can prove at any time I was a bad mom, bring it on. So i didn't go to dance practice, big flipping deal.... I registered her for school, he didn't. I went to her orientation with her just as much as he did........Maybe I didn't give her attention 24 hrs a day or who knows what else, but if he wants to say im a bad mom..... I dont recall ever holding her against a wall by her throat a few times, or almost punching her leading to the cops being called, nor dumping milk on top of her head at 4 years old. I don't recall me doing any of those things....... Oh nor not giving her lunch money and making her starve all day......... Hmm My check list is empty on all those things and more.... so as you said to me BRING IT ON........ I've done nothing wrong.
In the middle of a crisis, I guess I can see what cards he plays other than denial or stupidity. Im completely blown away.
Like any of us need anymore stress, just pile it on.
God, Im angry.

Feel a little

back more into real life. Like I'm not watching my life in a movie. So that helps. I just hope the anxiety stays away. Juan has a bad stomach flu and now for extra fun was pooping blood. Gotta call the dr this morning.
Waiting on the phone to ring for todays agenda. After I get Savannah off the bus today I'm taking her to the YMCA and we are gonna float in the pool all evening. Just relax and swim.
Losing alot of weight. Down 15 more lbs from January. Almost to my 60 lb mark =) Hooray!! My clothes when I walk fall off, so that's a nice feeling...well it is at first, now Im getting tired of always stopping to pull my pants up. When I took my before pics, my orange tye dye shirt was an ordinary shirt, now i can wear it as a nightgown so YAY!
My new shower curtain came today so that's another positive in what's going to be a very long day.

Hope everyone has a good one and keep prayers coming. They help more than you know. Appreciated more than you know.


Monday, February 09, 2009

It's Monday Evening

I am not functioning well. I still haven't gotten my head to a right frame of mind. I can't eat. I can't sleep. In between places I'm supposed to go and phone calls, I'm numb. I feel like a zombie just walking around.

God gave me the strength to cope during crisis, but I'm not sure how long I can hold up.

I'm tired.

Prayers please.


Need Prayers

As many as my family can get. Please, please and Please, say as many as you can.

I won't even write happy day, because nothing is happy.

Prayers is all I ask in abundance.


Sunday, February 08, 2009

Missin Van...

Crying this morning. I miss Savannah so much =(. Seems like with this stupid dance, she's always with Kyle. You take someone you have seen every day of her life and then go to not seeing her for days at a time........ It's hard. Kyle and I talked for awhile yesterday, no arguing, just talking and it was nice... Then this morning when I miss her so much I get so angry again at him.
She can't go to church today because of again yet another dance activity and I don't even wanna go because I will probably sit there and cry. I really enjoy my Sundays with her.
You know when she's here, she always wants to call him over and over and over... she rarely calls me. I know it's harder cause he doesn't have a land line and he only has a work cell with limited calls. I just don't feel she misses me much at all.
I would like to say partially that's my fault. Last year when I was so sick, I wasn't worth a crap to anyone. I don't even remember anything I did last year at all. Again that just makes me mad. I hate that mold. I feel like it robbed me of a whole year of my life. She grew closer with Kyle that year.
We used to go to the zoo all the time, plan big parties, go shopping. We were always busy and doing stuff together.
I wish we would've never moved to this house. My dr said I'm lucky it wasn't worse cause that mold has killed people, for the most part it did. I have to undo everything that was done in that year.
On a brighter note and to keep from crying, I put my goal pants on again and they are loose, so where as in Dec, I couldn't fit them til the end, I can now fit them and prob take them off without unbuttoning them.
So that's a happy note.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

It's Saturday and I've lost my Dustpan!

I can't find the dern thing. I literally have cleaned and packed since I woke up this morning. I'm starting to get a bit tired. But =) It looks really good in my house despite the lack of furniture and knick knacks. I polished everything and dusted things as I packed them away. Im looking so forward to a fresh start =)

YAY! Okay, that's about it. Gotta go back to cleaning. I just ate and seems anymore anytime I eat I feel sick to my stomach. Probably that nice ulcer I have. It's a gnawing burning pain. So probably.

Happy Saturday....
Elmers still driving, keep him in your prayers =)

Friday, February 06, 2009

Shish kabob Anyone?

This is soooooooooooooooo not funny, in any way shape or form, but yet I can't help but laugh. As a matter of fact I joked with Curl, Jay and Linney about this on Sunday at dinner..... My pond thawed out today and sure enough is a dead fish with a tree limb going through him.......... I lifted the branch and the fish was perfectly on there like he had been skewered...... It's not funny, by any means... but I giggled and still am giggling. Juan walks in and says mom, there's a fish on a stick outside...oof and oof.

Today has been so busy, I had to clean 2 houses today, then went to Big lots for some knick knacks..Rushed home to let the kids in and got a shower. I forgot to get milk so I have to go back out. My feet are killing me. I started my exercise routine back up. I went from every day to 3 times a week, but now going to every other day.... I figured all the work I did today was enough.

I need to wash my van, from landing in the ditch sideways last week it isn't too clean.

Lisa left a comment about Savannah always being with Kyle... Yes seems that way and it's hardly fair. He's the one that wants her to dance...And can't see past his own nose.... it's very unfair especially this early in the joint custody. She will get used to being over there and it's very unfair to me, but then again that's Kyle and that's how Kyle works.

So........I told him next year absolutely no dance on my days. If she wanted to go I would say sure, but she doesn't want to, its for him.

Happy Friday!
Keep Elmer in your prayers him and his nephew are driving from CA to MD and that's a long, long haul. So pray they have a safe trip.

He's my sunshine.


Thursday, February 05, 2009


Well, yesterday was kinda boring. I went and cleaned karens and then went to the YMCA then went to pick up some dishes and canister thingies. When I was washing them up, I started crying... They symbolized to me a new start. A moment set in where I thought to myself WHOA! this is MINE =). Back when I met Kyle I was terrified of staying alone. I guess I was young and scared or what have you... So even with all the yelling he was there. I no longer am afraid to be alone and OMG The peace I feel. I don't have to worry about hiding things from him that the boys did or something I did. I don't have to worry about him coming home and starting off the afternoon with a yelling match with Anthony. I don't have to worry about the stinky washrags he would let get nasty in the sink, don't have to worry about the dishes getting done, or the laundry getting done..... I have got myself into a pattern and it's just done. All that worry gone, all that anger daily I had at him for being a slug gone........... The peace I feel is so overwhelming. I'm not shaky anymore, I want to get out and get up! It's just amazing the difference. The only time all week I have had any stress is when i have to talk to him.
I won't have Savannah for about 3 full weeks cept a few days here and there because of this dance crap that she does not want to do. She's tired. She cries not to go, but Kyle enjoys it, so therefore forces her to go. I told him all along she wants to quit tap and ballet, but he had the teacher talk to her and you know how kids are with teachers.... she still cries. Last night was my night with her and she had an unscheduled practice. she got confused and thought she was staying with him and was tired and cranky and he had to drag her in kicking and screaming. I was quite angry. She doesn't need all this confusion this early into all this. She told me he never cooks dinner and she goes to bed hungry... kyle said that's bull crap. Funny how one day I didn't cook lunch cause i was sick and Im made out to look like the worst person in the world, but she said on multiple occassions she doesn't eat... oh she's telling tales.... Hmmm my, my, my how it feels when the shoe is on the other foot.

Enough about that, I bought a shower curtain for my new house =) First time I Have bought anything in a LONGGGGGGGGGGGG time and I can't wait to hang it =)

It's awful having a new place and no money to decorate it!

Happy Thursday


My sun is shining =)

Monday, February 02, 2009


Well, we are back into our house. I had taken Savannah to the movies Saturday to see, Hotel for dogs and we decided to drive by our house and what do we see....... POWER and a mess. More branches down in my yard. It looks like a lumberjack smoked a bunch of hash and plowed through my yard.
I have alot of stuff damaged. My computer is fried from all the zaps in power. The one yesterday zapped it even more. It's doing what Karens is doing, which is not turning on. The fan comes on, the CD light comes on, but it won't power up. I get a ton of flickers and it sounds like it's sizzling.
Hmm What else. Bird boys dad came took the tree off my fence.
Dogs are worn out, Kids are worn out, I'm worn out. I really have slacked off on exercising and I really need to get it back up there. I think my iron has fallen, very, very drastically. I can tell. I have no energy and I haven't been taking it. One of these days I promise I will learn.
Other than that, nothing to report cept I hate ice.

Friday, January 30, 2009

It's Friday

Went to my house, no power still. A big huge branch fell off. Broke part of the window in Juans room. UGH.... I updated my photo blog with some pics of the ice in a nice way LOL Click here for pics of that
Here are some pics of my new branches down in the front.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Did I mention I HATE ICE????????

Last night I tried to go to sleep.... Anyone who lives near a wooded area.. Carol Im sure living near the park you know the sound that filled the night.. Crack crack WOOSH.... Wood cracking, wood breaking falling to the ground the ice breaking. I literally heard that all night long. On my roof over and over. I had 2 trees fall on my fence, one on the neighbors fence. I had a tree fall on my shed. One almost went through Anthonys window, I have some in my pond, a bunch on my roof. I was so scared last night I shook the whole night. At 5 am i heard 3 explosions that could've woke the dead and it was my transformer going. Power GONE... Soooooooo.... I get my stuff to go to moms, tree falling etc long story short, I ended up in a ditch. AAA comes rescues my sorry butt and I'm at my dads.
Here are some pics of my house and the pear trees. Across the road from my house are these beautiful pear trees, I have blogged about them before, I love their beauty.. I was sadly disappointed that most of them did not weather the storm. So here are some pics of the mess that is my house. I can't tell how bad the roof stuff is, I wouldn't stand under those trees for all the money in the world
My shed is under that tree somewhere
My fish are under this huge branch (es)
My fence or lack there of is under this tree
My neighbors fence is under this tree which is also in my yard
The one that made me about have a heart attack almost crashing through anthonys window
The beautiful pear trees
The tree that caused me to go in the ditch, this is after the firemen hacked it up to let the road be passable

Friday, January 23, 2009


It's Friday. I'm tired, angry and tired. I'm so angry at Kyle..Lots of reasons. This morning the anger flared up again. For years I would say Kyle clean out the fish pond, Kyle clean out the fish pond. Over and over and over like a broken record. They have to be taken care of just like any other animal..... Well, sometimes he would do it after I nagged for awhile. This year I nagged all summer, then all fall..... Asked him again and again before he moved..... Nada. So we had the big freeze. The pond shouldve have the filter running to keep oxygen to the fish. The fish pond hasn't ever been cleaned since Kris and Dave sold us the house. Poop and Leaves are on the bottom, which creates gas in the water...... Long story short, it froze, they lacked oxygen, it got warm and thawed and I have a bunch of dead and dying fish. Why people can't be responsible is beyond me. I can't clean it, I don't know how. It has to be drained, scrubbed, refilled. The filter under the water has to be dug out and cleaned.... Stuff I can't do because lack of know how....... Some of the fish are laying side ways can't breathe. I'm just sad and I'm so mad at him for always being so irresponsible. Not just with the fish, with everything. Asking over and over and over and over til I'm blue in the face for stuff to be done and NADA.... The chair and the desk on the back porch i have been asking for mos to get rid of... The basement i asked for 7 mos to get cleaned up..... Grrrrrrr just plum pisses me off.
=( and my fish. I'm just sad and angry. I feel like taking the dead ones putting them in a bucket and putting them on his porch and leaving a note saying " Will you please clean out the fish pond?" It would only be the 5000th time I have said it since we lived here. I think they all will die so I guess it no longer has to be dealt with.
Sigh sigh sigh.
My poor fish.
On a lighter note, I'm feeling much better. My house is spotless, I haven't been exercising every day like i did. Every other day. I'm just tired. Exhausted. Stressed. I need to get back on the wagon. I haven't been splurging on food. Esp yesterday oof.
Kids are good. Im enjoying living alone. Everything seems less stressed and peaceful.
Happy Friday
The sun is shining only its melting my poor fishes into death... Don't go into the light fishies, just keep swimming, just keep swimming....

Thursday, January 22, 2009


What i thought was my cold ended up being a stomach virus..... ugh i was up all night. Still feel awful today. In and out of bed. My stomach hurts so bad =(
Happy Thursday

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


my cold has progressed into a sinus infection i think. My head hurts so bad i can barely move. =( its irritating the holy heck out of me. Happy wednesday everyone.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Happy Monday

Hi everyone =) Happy Monday. Was a long weekend. I have had a cold sort of sniffling sneezing what nots. Saturday I was a sloth. No exercise nada. Oof. I didn't do anything all day. Kyle moved out Friday, I was left with a pretty huge mess. I got it all cleaned up and moved Juan down to the basement.
For those of you who don't know, my mom and Mark are in the process of buying a new house, which I am going to rent from them for awhile. When I move out, it will just be investment property for them. It's soooooooo stinking cute =) It's small but perfect for me and the kids and my puppies. So once I get moved, be sure to drop in and see me =).
Yesterday I had a busy day. Sundays are becoming mine and Savannahs day. We got up, got ready, went to my moms. We went and looked at the house again, did a bunch of drive bys LOL! Then we went out to lunch and to the YMCA, she played in Y world while I worked out and then we went swimming for awhile.
After swimming we went and got showers and did our hair and stuff in front of the big vanities. She loved it.
Then off to church with Auntie Curl. I love their church. It is probably one of the best churches I have ever been to. I love going and so does Savannah. She askes when we can go back all the time. She wants to go every day, not just on sunday.
She wrote on my board today Each new day is a god from God, so remember whether its a good day or a bad day.... then she didn't finish. I will share the pic tomorrow, i just snapped it in case it gets erased.
Then we went to McDonalds got some coffee and icecream and went back to Curls to eat with Linny, Jay and baby E and curl. It was really a good time, I love sitting around talking.
We left Carols and it was snowing, I still had to go to the grocery store. It was very hard getting home from the store, they werent' expecting the snow and the roads were covered.
It was a great day. I came home spent some time fishing on WoW with Elmer and then talked to him on the phone for awhile Was nice.
Please keep Elmer and his family in your prayers, his dad is ill, just found out he has lung cancer =( and Elmer dealing with that is having some work issues. So just keep them in your prayers.
Thanks all
The sun is shining