Wednesday, August 29, 2007

No school again** We have a good update

Well..........I knew it would happen. I had about 20 panic attacks yesterday because I knew already what today held. Juan came home yesterday. They wanted to keep him til Thursday, but he insisted he was ready for school etc. etc. This morning, he won't even try. We pleaded with him even for an hour. Nope. Will not go. I tried calling the counselor there, she was "too busy to talk to me right now" I tried calling the hospital. Nothing. Is there not any help available out there? His school is like the scum hole of the center of Louisville. No one is willing to help me. I can't get any help any where. I haven't a clue what to do. Juan told me this morning that the hospital was "Fun" and that he has "no fun" at his school. I am absolutely floored at those statements. Floored. So after the people call me back and if he has to go back to hospital, I am going to ask everyone that they please respect my wishes to only visit him once or twice a week. I think this is turning into a big game with him and I am fully prepared to play. I can't keep doing this. I have so many issues that I need to deal with. Some of them major and I can't because everything is focused on Juan. UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH Said with the biggest amount of frustration one could udder.
Hope everyone else on this earth has a Happy Wednesday because OF COURSE I won't be.
******* We have a good update!! okay, so all the drama this morning. I knew this would happen. I was up late last night. I have a good friend who suggested doing half days. I haven't a clue why I did not think of that, but I was like "That's a good idea." Fast forward til about 1 am. Juan is still upset, very nervous. I suggest this to him, he says it was a great idea and we both go to bed. This morning he didn't want any part of it. It was crazy here this morning. Throw Kyle and Savannah into this mix of craziness and it was hectic. Kyle gets alot more frustrated than I do with Juan. Albeit Thursday I had my frustration melt down. I know what he is going through first hand, so I can help more. Where as Kyle tries but does it not as nice as I do. Anxiety requires patience. So I step out back to make some phone calls and let myself cool off so I do not say things that I don't mean. Come back in. Kyle takes Savannah to the bus stop, I step inside make some progress with Juan. Kyle comes back home, I'm about at meltdown mode again. I tell Kyle just to go to work. I don't want to start arguing with him and get more frustarted. So Kyle is gone. I come in, get Juan to eat. Talk to him in a patient way. He says "I'm ready to go to school" Thud was me hitting floor. I said "huh" He said I'm ready to go for my half day. I asked him why the change. He said when Kyle and I get to arguing and Savannah gets to whining he can't think. When it's quiet he can think. So I get him in the car. He is very nervous at this point, I am just thrilled that HE IS IN FACT TRYING! We take it very slow, parking lot, then the front door. Low and behold we get called into Mrs Adams office. It just so happens that this Angel from heaven is a recovering agoraphobic. She had Juans EXACT problem. I swear she was an angel. I firmly believe that in life everything happens for a reason and today she was my reason. She sat him down, explained exactly how he was feeling. She asked him some concerns about him being there. He said he didn't have a locker, an agenda and a schedule. She turned around and in 4 minutes tops, she had his agenda, locker, schedule and science notebook. She took him on baby steps, told him even if he didn't stay his half day, walking in those doors was a huge first step. That is the first time in all of this that I have actually felt someone was helping. I just started crying because she clicked right with him. I started towards the door, they were locked arm and arm and she was leading him to class. HE'S THERE!!!!!!!!!!!! Mind you I have to go back and get him in a little bit. But it is a HUGE first step in many to come. So thank God for Mrs. Adams a true God send this morning. I woke up thinking there was no hope and didn't understand any of this. Johnny my brother (he's a lawyer for those of you who don't know) found a helpful lady with the military. They are going to locate his dad so we can get a medical stuff with the ins. taken care of. So 2 birds one stone today and I know all the prayers we have for us are moving mountains. So keep praying for us. They are much appreciated!!
And any more advice my friends have, the half days or what have you, please suggest. If i say something and you have an idea, please tell me. I didn't even think if that. My brain is running on empty from all the stress. It's more appreciated than you know!!
Maybe a twinge of a Happy Wednesday for me!!

Monday, August 27, 2007

The cleanin of the cave

The basement is a cave. The laundry room I loathe, but it's all done. My room is spotless, my bathroom in the cave is spotless and the laundry room which I hate is spotless. Have to put pics for my mom cause she will never believe it. I HATE THAT ROOM!! If I could stay out of it forever I would. So here is my cave laundry room CLEAN!!
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When I am nervous or mad, I clean and there is nothing left in my house to clean. I guess I'll find something else to do to occupy my time LOL
Happy Monday
Juan will be home at noon tomorrow

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Sunday Cleaning too

Barf. First things first, Juan is doing very well. Went up there last night and he has made a wonderful friend named Jerry. Juan's extremely worried about Jerry. Jerry's dad is in jail, his mom doesn't want him, so he's dropped off there because he is angry. :( Who wouldn't be angry. They have no place for him. Juan and Jerry were the only ones who were allowed up stay up late last night. All the other kids had their mattresses pulled to the hallway and had to sleep under watch. You know for just anxiety, my son doesn't belong there. But stupid insurance won't cover anything different, so what do you do. No one ever visits the other kids. No one. It's extremely sad.

I woke up this morning more CLEANING. UGH, this time I stripped the laundry room apart, cleaned out and organized the wardrobe in there. Not finished with that yet, it was a chore, so when I finish I'll share the pics in there. That was a HUGE job. I'm moving at a snails pace now. BUT I washed all the walls in the living room, stripped the wood floors, got under all the furniture. Cleaned behind and under everything in the room. Did my curio cabinet. Even cleaned the ceiling and all those beams. UGH. It's about time to start getting ready for the hospital. BUT...... Tomorrow I should be able to finish the rest. I even maintained the upstairs. Funny thing is, I do this once a week for the most part. Not under everything like I did today, but I can't understand how it's still dirty. Me and the mommy loop girls, literally ALL do this once a week. Before and after cleaning races and you know what. Racing really does motivate you to get it done. Today, I am racing with Annissa. We update through emails our progress. She is keeping me going, I am keeping her going. Whatever works and friends are the best in the world. Here's my living room all done!! I used some new stuff on the floors, made them shine, but they are slicker than snot! Oh and I have to keep pillows on the couch now, in the last pic it's dark but you will see Claire barking at the Little old man, She stands all day on the back of the couch barking and she's flattening my pillows ARGH!
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LOL Opies wakin up stretching, gearing to growl at Little old man walkin dog
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Above is Claire stretched out on the back of the couch growling at the man LOL she does what we call poodie Whistlling a mixture of barking and growling and yodling!
Happy Sunday

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Saturday Morning Project

I got bitten by the cleaning bug. Me and the mommy loop girls do cleaning races LOL today I think I beat them ALL!!!!! I did the whole upstairs!! I did fans, washed walls, stripped the wood floors then waxed them. Washed all sheets and blankets. Smells like an ocean breeze up there. I missed having Juan complain about the vinegar though. I thought I'd share pics of my accomplishment for today!! :) I did the bathroom too and scrubbed the fridge. Took every shelf out and scrubbed! Tomorrow is the middle floor, then the cave basement! I hope I hold up that long. As you can see from the pics, Anthony is fully using Juans room while he is away!
Melzie, post some pics of your progress, I know you are in on the cleaning today too!! I think Annissas gonna leave us high and dry! I have to quit and get ready to go to hospital today..........but here's my pics proving I raced today!! :P I've been slacking on the racing lately, sorry gals!

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Above are Juans room and Anthony using his video games!
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These are Anthonys room which always look the same because he keeps his room spotless!!
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Above Vannahs room!!
I wish we could hurry and finish this house :( It's so old and takes so much time and energy to fix. I want it done so we can move on!! Just the bathroom and the part of the basement to go! Shouldn't take too much stuff.
Happy Saturday, be clean!

Friday, August 24, 2007

Hi everyone!!

Hope everyone is well.
Things have been very tough here lately.
I'm so exhausted it is unreal.
Juan is in the hospital right now. That's all I really want to say about that at this point. I miss him horribly and cry ALOT. When I go to see him and leave as a mother, it tears me up inside. I want to grab him and take him with me. But know right now that is not possible.
After visiting with him this morning I left got to moms and did something I never have in my life. I sat on her couch and within 3 minutes completley and totally fell asleep. I am emotionally drained.
I smiled for the first time in 3 days last night. It felt very, very good. I am rarely ever not smiling.
Today I have a huge migraine. My head hurts so bad. I have to go back to the hospital in a few minutes. I am dreading being out in this heat. It can go away at any time and would not hurt my feelings. We are on alot of days over 100 degrees.
My friend Melzie just had me LOLing so hard it's unreal. I feel guilt that I am laughing when my son is in hospital. But I appreciate the laughter. Such a wonderful woman. For my baby boy a song a hear and think of him. All we do need is a lil patience.


Shed a tear 'cause I'm missing you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt you're in my heart now
Said woman take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said sugar make it slow
And we'll come together fine
All we need is just a little patience
(inhale) Patience...
Ooh, oh, yeah

Sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now, I'll wait dear
Sometimes, I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love, there's one more thing to consider
Said woman take it slow
Things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Said sugar take the time
'Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes to make it
We won't fake it, Oh never break it
'Cause I can't take it

...little patience, mm yeah, ooh yeah,
Need a little patience, yeah
Just a little patience, yeah
Some more pati... (ence, yeah)
I've been walking these streets at night
Just trying to get it right (Need some patience, yeah)
It's hard to see with so many around
You know I don't like being stuck in a crowd (Could use some patience, yeah)
And the streets don't change but maybe the name
I ain't got time for the game
'Cause I need you (Patience, yeah)
Yeah, yeah well I need you
Oh, I need you (Take some patience)
Whoa, I need you (Just a little patience is all we need)
Ooh, this ti- me....

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Round 2

So Juan gets up, gets ready. Starts giving Kyle trouble about going to school. Kyle tries to drive him down to bus stop, he won't go. Bus comes, he stands in middle of street. Will not get on, will not go. So I call the school and ask if someone can be patient with him etc. etc. She starts defending her counselors etc. etc. I say "All I AM ASKING OF YOU IS THAT YOU BE NICE TO HIM RIGHT NOW" She was like well he has to keep his shirt tucked in those are the rules. Screw the freaking shirt at this point, I'm trying to get him in the damn front door.
So Kyle is taking him there now. I haven't a clue what will happen. I got very mad and hollered at him because he kept throwing his backpack out of the car. I am frustrated beyond belief. Kyle could lose is job and is losing pay everytime he takes off work for this. He's getting mad at me, but either or, someone has to get Savannah off to school and get her ready. Someone has to be at both places.
I am so stressed it's unreal. All these problems and one more with Juan thrown right back on top. I'm beyond angry. I have spent 11 years dealing with Juan and his problems. I am tired of them. I don't really feel sorry for him anymore. That may make me sound like a horrible, horrible person. No one knows what it's like to every day walk on eggshells so you don't start a fit. Deal with phone call after phone call from school. Sure he has very good days, but there are so many bad too. I can't get myself together, I can't take care of my problems because I am so wrapped up in Juans stuff, Kyle and my troubles, insurance woes, trying to hide Savannah from Juan so she doesn't pick up on his fear and then we have 2. Anthony gets neglected because there just isn't any time left after messing with Juan. I'm tired. I am officially down, I don't even have enough strength to wave a white flag.
I play Toon Town every day and no one really understands why, imagine for just a little while going to a different world where there isn't any of this crap. It takes me away for just a little while. I need a break. A big serious break and I will never get one. The punches fly at me from every direction. This will happen again tomorrow and then again Friday. Saturday there will be some reprieve then Sunday fits will start and then Monday this whole shebang will happen again. I Have done this many, many years. I haven't the strength to do it again.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

God sends you what you need at the right time.

Funny how things work out in life. Why things happen, when they happen. Jay, Lindsays husband came over tonight to talk to Juan and take him out to dinner to find out what's going on with him. We were sitting on the couch talking and I started telling him about how in Virginia I worked at this Karate studio for Mr. Nichols. How I loved it, seeing the kids learn discipline etc. I truly LOVED that job and so respected Mr. Nichols. He was so talented, worked at the Pentagon, had a successful business. Was such a cool, cool man!
Well no sooner than I got finished telling Jay, I sign on and 7 or 8 years later I hear "You've got mail" It was from Master Nichols!!!!
I could almost cry to know that 7 or 8 years later, I made such an impression on him as a worker that he took time to look me up and email me.
That is the most special I have felt in so long and I am sitting here trying not to cry.
Funny, I would never ever of thought I would've crossed his mind. :) Maybe I'm not as bad as what I think I am
Here is his website and where I used to work! He moved to the front of the building but same location!! I miss living there sometimes
Master Nichols
Thank God for that. Just when I couldn't feel any worse about myself in life that gives me a glimmer of hope.
Thanks for all the cards. Lois sent me a boquet of flowers yesterday and today a big boquet of daisies. They are my favorite. They always look as if they are smiling. Daisys are Ladies :) Lois is my TT buddy , my friend. Thanks Lo Lo!!


I am so suffocated and stressed.
Today is my birthday and it has gone horribly right off the start. I'd expect no less because every year it is completely freaking awful.
Juan WILL not go to school. NOT, refuses. So now it's a trip to Kosairs for me where I will spend my whole day in the ER..........So Happy Birthday to me!!!

Everyones in this house is always made special, Everyones and every year, same song and dance for me. More stress, more headache. I should've expected no less.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Saturday, Saturday!

Ok no one knew where the sonnet was from............... Sense and Sensibility!! Come on peoples!!! LOL Doesn't everyone know that stuff?
Had a really bad afternoon yesterday. Woke up this A.M. feeling alot better and more clearheaded. Thank God for that.
Getting ready for Anthonys party. It's supposed to be hot! Owooooooooo
Nothing much else going on. Have a Happy Saturday!

Friday, August 17, 2007

Ever read Shakespeare?

I love this sonnet! Tis my favorite!! Most of you know why or will know why LOL

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Found the book downstairs when I was digging out school supplies and that was highlighted :) I can pretty much recite it verbatim!! The middle I have a lil trouble with.
It's Friday. I'm bored. Anthonys party is tomorrow.

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings that I do
And I blame you!

Happy Friday! Hope to see alot of you at Anthonys birthday tomorrow!!
Then Sunday its Karen and Tommys photo shoot WOO HOO :) Look purty for me.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Boys deemed blog worthy

Okay, so my oldest comes home from school and now has an "Official" Girlfriend. We sit out in the kitchen eating pepperonis and talkin about her etc. She wants him to go on a date tonight to her church. Okay...........all fine and good.
Fast forward my middle son comes in and after we talk about his day at school, Anthony tells him about his new girlfriend and stuff. Anthony leaves to come check his email in the living room, so Juan and I start talking about girls. He said he has no ladies yet and that usually it takes about 3 weeks. I kept telling him maybe they are intimidated or something. Then he says it will just take awhile and proceeds to drink his milk........... From the other room we hear "It won't take awhile if you are hot and sexy like me" That milk shot out of Juans mouth across the whole kitchen and we both were laughing soooo hard. Not that my son isn't cute, because they are both adorable, but that comment was friggin hilarious. I look at the milk on the floor and Juan says "I'll get to that once the sickness passes"
Literally made me LOL
Oh geez!!
Reminds me of that song by Right Said Fred
I'm to sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts!!
Happy Sexy Wednesday!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

My baby is 16 today!!

I tried to make him a video BUT.............Scanner is broken :( But, he is getting big. I can't believe he is old enough to drive and get a job. It's so depressing!! Maybe not for him. He came home from school with girlie phone numbers. Sigh! Happy Birthday Anthony!! Big party Saturday WOO HOO!!!

Someone sent me this and I LOLed it is soooooooooo true!!

You know you're from Louisville when........

Your "International" airport has only one passenger flight that actually leaves the 48 contiguous U.S. states and is also the size of a average mall

The in-state sports rivalry is paid more attention to than the national championship.

You live in an area that occasionally gets considerable snowfalls, floods, and tornadoes... but has no capacity to deal with any of the above.

You pronounce the name of your city different than anyone else you've heard.

You think the rest of the people in Kentucky sound like hicks.

When you think "Kentucky" you don't automatically think horse racing or fried chicken.

You ask your doctor for an allergy cure and he tells you to "move"

You've shovelled 10+ inches of snow and worn shorts in the same week.

When people ask what school you went to, they don't mean Vanderbilt, Yale, or Harvard; they mean Ballard, Male, Manual, Trinity or St. X.

You know what the Bambi Walk is.

Your last ten vacations were in Panama City or Destin.

You make an emergency run to Kroger for bread and milk at the first sighting of a snowflake.

You've lived here for years, yet somehow you get hopelessly lost each time you attempt a shortcut through Cherokee Park.

You're convinced turn signals are useless options on a vehicle.

You hold up traffic to let a motorist you don't know into your lane.

You give directions based on landmarks that no longer exist or street names that have changed, but your directions never confuse any of the other Louisvillians

You have never been to the Derby, but wouldn't miss the Oaks.

You call in sick to attend the Oaks and spot your boss - who also called in sick - at the next betting window.

You think all the REAL hicks live in New Albany IN.

You think the only thing Southern Indiana is good for is buying pumpkins.

When introduced to another life-long Louisvillian, you spend the first part of the conversation finding out how you are connected. It's never as many as six degrees of separation - usually three will do it.

You think a pervert is someone who would rather have sex than watch basketball.

You've built a shrine to Rick Pitino in your basement.

You can read about Rick Pitino in at least three different sections of your newspaper.

You think the rest of the world knows what Benedictine spread is.

You think the rest of the world knows what a Hot Brown is.

You have never eaten fish that wasn't fried.

You think the whole world puts spaghetti in chili.

You want another bridge built over the Ohio River, just so long as it doesn't cut through YOUR neighborhood.

You've experienced a "salt storm" after a two-inch snowfall.

You're still complaining that Dillards took over Bacon's

You're still calling Bashford Manor Mall a Mall and it has been gone for 7 Years.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Louisville.

Monday, August 13, 2007

First day of school

First day of school went off without a hitch. Boys got out on time, Savannah got out on time. Went and saw Dave and got a huge adjustment. You guys have no clue how the tension just drains away from your body when you get one. I had therapy on my back and Ahhhhhhhhhhh!! Oh what a relief!! Here are some pics of Savannah. She was in her carseat and very nervous. The bus came, we got out of the van and she took off running to the bus. Around the block we ran into her bus and she saw us and she waved wildly from the bus!! She's not home yet, but I bet she comes home exhausted!!! I can't wait to hear how her day went!
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Sunday, August 12, 2007

So flipping sad

My last baby starts school tomorrow. I made this video,cried all through it, cry when I watch it. I enjoyed my days at home with her for 5 years and now someone else gets to spend their days with my baby. I'm so sad I cannot even express it. Our daily zoo trips or shopping trips. :o( Someone gets my days with my baby girl. Here's my video of her first 5 years. The first pic is right when we came home from hospital with her :)
Have gotten a couple questions about video. The girl with the boy and Savannah
is my friend Melody whom I met offline and she ended up becoming my best friend in this world. That is her son John. We were pregnant at same time and had babies at same time. Was wonderful. The other question is, is that really me holding Savannah LOL Yes it's me! My hair was brown from not being able to color it during pregnancy!! My face was so swollen YIKES!! Pregnancy does that to you!! Hey at least I had earrings in!

Friday, August 10, 2007

Happy Friday!

It's hot! HOT. Last night we had Savannahs orientation, it was so hot I could've sworn my Crocs were melting to the pavement. I had an asthma attack from the ozone. Haven't had one of those in FOREVER and EVER.
Savannahs gotten so big. Got all of her supplies together and she is all ready for Kindergarten. Be prepared to be overwhelmed with pics and tears on Monday. It's so bittersweet.
I also have made the decision to go back to a shop. I truly, truly liked it. Just work in the day while kids are at school. Then be home when they get home.
Not much else happening. Did I mention the heat? Good grief.
I think my fish are frying out in the pond. That water in there is HOT! poor fishy fishys. Raccoon boys tail has grown all back in. He finally can swim upright! YAY!
My dogs are good. Geeks, but good. Opie is a HUGE dog as you guys know and he is trying to lay on my lap as I type. I have to keep reminding him that he is not a lap dog.
I put some squirty cheese in Claires Kong toy and it has kept her so busy. She is tossing that thing all over trying to get it out. She is soooooo stinking sweet. I cannot thank Deborah enough for choosing us to take her. She has been an absolute joy in all of our lives!
I laid in bed yesterday and watched Ever After. I Love Drew Barrymore and I Love that movie. Claire bear and opie both snuggled up in bed with me. Savannah watched it with me but got upset when I cried!! I'm such a SAPPPPP it's unreal! I guess I will never let her watch Titanic with me. Holy crud that's a real tear fest there!
I like movies though that stir up some kind of emotion. Whether it's laughter or tears. Either of them! I enjoy. I have a stack of unwatched movies on my desk. Guess I'll do that this weekend!!
Okay, my kids are hungry, I'm guessing I should feed them or something LOL
Have a happy Friday.
Be blessed

Tuesday, August 07, 2007


Okay, girls I'll call the shots today and ask the question!! I always leave it up to you guys. So here's a project. What's dinnertime like at your house? Here is dinnertime at Dianna's LOL. My dinner consisted of some fries and icewater. Are you jealous? Anywhoo, this is what I have to endure when I sit down to eat and what I look at while I eat. Can you say Drool?????? :) I don't think I have seen a hotter man in all of my life.
The first couple are of my babies. They follow me everywhere!!! So when I eat, they beg and beg and these are a couple pics of them, doing what they do best!
Ya like my Andy Warhol, pop art lookin table cloth :P I love it!
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Here's Claire trying to sneak on the table. God love her heart!
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The next one is of my view when I eat. Doesn't look like much a door. Oh wait, below is the close up. Swoooooooon :) hot hot man!
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Thank you aunt Sandy for that calendar! I have waited all year for August. Not cause of my birthday or anything, but because of my calendar pic!!
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Below I wasn't giving my lil puppy any food, so she decided to jump on the bench with me!!
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Isn't she sweet?? My dogs are so special to me. They melt my heart!! And are so kissable!! :)

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Happy Sunday!

It's only about 2 oclock and I am already worn down. I got up about 10 and super scrubbed the kitchen. Did the walls, under the fridge and stove etc. I usually get those once a month so it wasn't so bad. I flipped my calendar to hotty sawyer. Swoooooon :) got the floors all scrubbed. I have some haircuts coming over. I'm beat.
I have to get up early. Savannah has a gastro appt at 10:30 am. Then there's lots of school stuff and birthday stuff I have to get together. Anthony will be 16 this year. Owoooooo! So much to do and it's so hot outside it's unreal.
Weekend was kind of dull. Went to moms for a bit yesterday. She kept the boys. Um other than that, I pretty much cleaned or played on computer. I'll be glad when the heat breaks.
Anyone been up to anything good? Annissa I know just started another Loopy Loop!
My poor Melody is having such a hard time. :( I think me and Mel should meet half way between where we each live and move into together! Come on Melzie!! You've stayed at my house a few times, we are highly compatable. Could Scrabble all day and all night and yak! :) All kidding aside, I hope you cheer up soon. I don't like hearing all the bad that happens to you. You are way too good. I'm gonna check in on you in a bit and hopefully you are smiling!! Love you very much!!
Jenzie has fallen off the face of the earth. She met a man from Austrailia and he came here and they are madly in love and she has dropped off the cyber face of the earth.
Mandy and Jayme are on vacation I think. I really need to read my emails I have um 941 that I have not touched. So maybe tis I who dropped off the cyber earth too LOL
Okay gals, updates. Let me know what your up too. Send me some pics!
Annissa I'm reading the email on your new loop, I have to clean out my mailbox and join and I'll promise to play along!
Happy Sunday guys
Love you lots

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Happy Saturday

It's early. Savannah got up early so that means mom has to get up early.
OOF, I so did NOT want to get up.
The week this week drug on very slowly. Next week will go by quickly because I have a million and one things to do.
My boys are a mess, an absolute mess. Both of my boys are cute and are at the age where girls are coming into the picture.
For my youngest son, I had no clue at the rate they would be coming into the picture. I am betting when school starts it is going to be that much worse. Phone rings constantly, emails constantly. Oye. I have a long road.
He asked me to take some pics for his myspace page. Keep in mind he's 12 soon to be 13. I tell him to go get on some nice clothes for his pictures. He comes out with no shirt on and rhinestone hearts on his um nipples, for lack of a better word. I look at him and say "What on earth are you doing" He said "Obviously starting a fad" then out the door walks Savannah in the same attire. I tell him to go inside get a shirt on and come on. He then said "Aw, I have to remove my pasties?" How does a 12 year old know about pasties? He would never of heard it at home. Never, ever, ever. So what I wanna know is how he knows what they are? Anyways, that threw me for a big loop and I should've gotten a pic of that to use later in life.
I took a few pics of him for his page and took some of Anthony, but Anthony didn't like his. They are both so different it's unreal. Gonna post some pics of them.
Here is Anthony with some basketball players! Makes him look short but he's tall LOL
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Here's the one Juan wants for his Myspace. Lets just give an eyeroll, but he said the ladies will like that one???????? The ladies, will like that one?????Ladies???? So, all of my family that has myspace, add Juan to your list!! Keep a close eye on that one!
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6 short years ago, they were this. From these sweet boys to pasties. Sigh
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Happy Saturday!

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Sad today

I am having a hard day today. Mostly just sad. I can't figure people out. I can't figure out, how they work. Why they do the things they do. I am close to no one. Absolutely no one. I never could figure out, why I don't let people in. More and more me not letting them in, does me more good than bad.
When I had Savannah, I was going to stay at home with her, til she went to school. So I took in a couple kids to watch and did odd jobs, hair, etc on the side.
All of my family knows Maddie May. I have had her since she was a baby. We kept her every single weekend. She would stay over night. She stayed weeks at our house. Almost every holiday. Every Halloween. I loved her.
Well, as you guys know, her mom hasn't treated me the best. Especially for all the things that we have done for her. Taken her on our trips, spent our holidays with her. All of it. :(
Well, over a week ago, her mom told me Maddie would be here Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday. She didn't show up Wednesday. No big deal, with them that happens alot. I never say anything, because Savannah loves Maddie so much. I didn't want to strain my and Karens relationship so that Savannah and Maddie can always be friends. I knew that when they both started school that Maddie would quit coming. I just figured even though it was never talked about.
Well, I called to find out where Maddie was and when she was coming back and her mom just up and hung up on me. No hi, bye, kiss my ass. Nothing.
Be an adult, tell me she won't be coming back. Now, that she hung up on me, I'm extremely torked off. I did nothing. Never have been rude despite all the rude things she has done. So now Savannah has lost her best friend. Almost 6 years of them being inseparable. I am used once again in my life and tossed aside like garbage. Why do people take everything they can from me and just leave me? It's hard not to be sad. I had a part in raising her. I loved her.
I cannot for the life of me figure out why people use me so much. Maybe I am an easy target? Maybe people see doormat written on my head. None the less, that is exactly why I tell no one anything. Why I share nothing. It's easier in the long run. If you tell stuff, people generally use it to come back at you later. Gotten a good dose of that with several people. I've gotten too many doses of alot and can't figure out why. What you see with me, is what you get.
In ending that, I don't know what to do as far as trying to figure people out.
Absolutely do not understand meaness, hatred, using.
Things on my I do not understand in life list.
Happy Wednesday.