Sunday, May 29, 2011


You know on days like today I am saddened when nightfall comes. You ever have such a good day that you don't want it to end?

That was today. Nothing special happened so to speak, it was just the people I was with and the peace I felt today. Just so nice.

Not to mention I was blessed with a wonderful gift of the best home-made gluten free chicken n dumplins I have ever tasted in my life!! Words can't describe how good they were.

I'm sunburned, I'm in a food coma despite losing my usual 2.2 lbs this week and I'm happier than I have been in a very long time =)

Funny sometimes I wish nightfall would hurry and come so I can get the day overwith....Not today.

=D Life truly is wonderful sometimes.

Have a great Memorial Day



Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Wed Nes Day

Truth hurts. Whether it comes from God who knows true hearts or if it comes from friends who can see what you don't.

"Truth shall set you free" I hear....Maybe so.

I wait for acceptance I'm never going to get. Never.


I don't hurt inside though. I miss the peace I used to feel.

What the hell is wrong with me? Really?

I don't need people to tell me the truth. Trust me I know it.

Well, Juans out of the shower, time for mine.

Expecting a tornado outbreak tonight....Big suprise there.

I miss my sunshine.

Have a great Wed Nes Day




Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Some days

I get tired.

Some days I don't have the strength to deal with pure crap like I do on other days.

I'm just tired and tired of exhausting resources to things that are stagnant.

My head hurts. Did I mention I'm tired?

Wish people would grow up.



Sunday, May 22, 2011

It's Sunday =)

The week started out a bit rough, but has ended so sweetly =D

Busy most of the week. Angel and I did I think 5 or 6 spin classes, I exercised on top of that. Yesterday I was sore to say the least, but it was all good.

Had a long talk with a good friend who set me straight on a lot of things currently going on in my life. They always tell me the absolute truth, it sinks in, I see it.

I think sometimes I like to step inside a fantasy world and mold things to make them appear the way I want them to. In reality they are nothing of the sort.

Thank God for good friends =D

Been spending lots of time talking to God lately. He was absent for so long and finally came back. I don't think He was absent as much as I think I was.

Life without Him is nothing but confusion, life with Him is peace. =)

Getting ready to head to church. Had a real busy day yesterday, but it was so wonderful =)

I got me a new iphone, so that's really cool =D I LOVE it =)

Did some late night gardening.

Life is sweetly good sometimes =)



Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Am I walking around w/ a furrowed brow or something?

Every single person I have come in contact w/ lately tells me how unhappy I look and how I act unhappy.

I walk in work yesterday and the first thing Cindy says is "I miss the way you used to be, I don't like you like this"

Everyone and their mother I come across say the same thing. I took a pic of myself and my brows aren't furrowed......I'm not getting it.

Maybe it's just the constant confusion I live under. I dunno. =(

I wish I was as happy as I was ,but I just don't feel it. I dunno =( Sorry and I'll try to get back to where I was once I figure it out.



Sunday, May 08, 2011

Lil Update

I went and deleted the posts I made in private. Was good to let my feelings out I suppose.

Real confused lately, does that suprise anyone? I think that's what my point was of going private. I can't really say how I really feel about things and I don't want to feel like I'm whining.

I'm to the point where I don't know how to feel. God is giving me lots of wisdom and I see clearly what huge mistakes I am making. I'm just not sure if I have the strength to start to change them or the will to want to. I do what I can, He will do what I can't.

I don't know what happened to me. My wants have changed greatly. I used to wish and pray for situations to work out and now I just want them to go away. I'm tired of acting like I care, when I do not. Then a cycle of guilt occurs, because I don't care. I try to make myself like people I do not like, then again guilt. It's like my feelings were shut off and there was nothing leading up to it. Just gone.

Tried explaining that to a few people this morning and I can't explain it. It's just where there was something, void.

Like Voldemort when he sucks the life out of everything. The unicorns, the people. He sucks it all out to keep his own life. That's how I feel. Empty.

Sorry my update wasn't better. 3 short months ago I was on top of the world and now I feel as if I'm on the very bottom.

Abba Father!