Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Wed Nes Day

It's no secret on here, that I have been getting a lot closer to God.

Somedays I have the biggest struggles doing what is right. When he (God) tells me things need to go, the pruning can be so painful.

I have a few situations I'm not sure quite how to deal with. God has asked me to let things go, but in letting go and then keeping Gods word about doing unto others as we would have done...... I'm not sure where the line is drawn. I'm going to ask some friends who always give me wonderful advice on what it means.

Lack of understanding is frustrating. Who says that I always need to understand things?

Sometimes things just are.

Yesterday I had therapy and well.......... I asked my therapist some really hard questions. I asked him about love, basically what my blog entry from last week said. How do you accept love? How do you accept something you can't see? Especially when you feel you don't deserve it.

I also asked how do you know who you are? You can't say your job, because that's what you do. You can't say a mom, because that's not WHO you are either. He didn't really have an answer. He actually couldn't answer that one.

He was like Wow, what's the deal with the deep questions? I had to LOL. He told me it's a sign of intelligence that I am thinking that way and thinking about those things. Very good, yet very hard questions. He gave me a fabulous answer after a bit of thought on how to accept love =D

I FINALLY figured the whole love thing out with his help, I built on it and I TOTALLY understand it. I want to shout it from the rooftops! I UNDERSTAND IT!! The way he laid it out, don't get me wrong it's not verbatim here, but something to the effect of.......Love isn't words. Love isn't saying I love you. Love is your actions. People may do things that get on your nerves, people may do things that are bad, people may say the wrong thing at the wrong time, people may have an annoying habit that just gets under you skin.........but you love them anyways. As they are. You don't try to change them. You stand by them, you are always there. At one slip up, you don't turn your back on them and give up. You repair what was done and stand there and love them. No matter what they do, you are THERE. You are next to them. You stand by them.

I GET IT! Loving them as they are. Knowing that they will never change, but wanting to be next to them anyways.

So I look around my life and see the people that are there through the bad and the good. I see I am loved. I see the people who really love me, I see the people who really didn't love me. The ones who turned their back on me. The one's who hit me, the one's who pushed me away.

It's the people like my mom. We have our disagreements, we drive each other crazy, but she's still there. That's love. My family..... All still there. My friends, my March mommy friends. God knows we have all said and done things to hurt one another, but they are still there. I think this scripture says it best

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (New International Version)

9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:

10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

I got it =) All this time I thought I wasn't accepting love, but I was. I accept it all around me =) I give it all around me. I don't give up on people because they make me mad. I know I say things hurtful sometimes, but I love people as they are. I got it =)

I love when I get something!!!

Okay, the next question the who am I?........ I'm not even kidding when I write this. I woke up at 5:55 am and the tv was on those stripe things and going bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep, it was annoying so I scroll to the next channel down, lines and bleeeeeeeeeeeep, so I get to channel 40 and it's normal.

I close my eyes and start drifting back to sleep and Joyce Meyers Ministry TV program came on and she directly said "You ask the question who are you? You want to know how you answer that beloved?"

You answer it by saying "I am a child of God!!!" That's who you are.

=) I am a child of God =)

It is amazing and I can't believe sometimes the way things happen. A direct answer. I will never know how or why things like that happen.

Again, I don't need to. =) Things just are!

God is working in so many ways in my life.

The things that happen sometimes just humble me. He hears me, he answers me.

It may not always be what I want to hear, but what he's asking me to get rid of is always for my best interest.

I gave up WoW for Lent, 40 days. It was HARD, the hardest thing I have ever done. I was addicted to it. Addicted to that escape from real life. I can go back, but I chose not to. Why? Because God took that bad out of my life and gave me A LIFE.

I don't even miss it anymore. I don't even want to play anymore. Why?

Because this weekend, my cousin and I whom I love very much are going fishing. Because my aunt and I go to church on Sundays together and receive Gods word in the back row. Because every Wednesday I get to go play with Evangeline and shower baby Justus with love. Because on Tuesday nights, I get to go learn about God with the greatest group of people I have ever known. Because I get to wake up and go outside every morning and see my flowers. Because on Sundays I get to go watch movies with my mother. Because Savannah and I have to go paint in the park. Because the boys and I have to watch LOST together...... Things I could not do before, because I was in a fake world. A fake place that meant nothing. I could go on and on and on. I gave him the game and he gave me a life.

I'm soooooooooooooooooo happy!! I got my joy back!!!!! I got what love is!!! I got who I am......... I got everything I wanted this morning. All from God. He is amazing!! I love him. I LOVE HIM =)

Have a wonderful Wednesday



Tuesday, April 27, 2010

YAY Tuesday afternoon!!

Wow what a day!!

LOL! Um.......interesting day.

Well...... I better take this one to email =)

I'll share with bloggety bloggers soon!!

Gym went soooooooo well!! Got to workout with Mike, that's always fun!! Added an additional 100 calories (burned not eaten) onto my work out to make up for my laxidasical workout on Saturday and Sunday when I was sick!

I'm going fishing!!!!!!!!!! YAY!! I have had a steady stream of people volunteering to teach me!! =D

I'm ready for sunshine! It's almost Derby time!! I love God!! I love my flowers!!

I love life and what a fantastic day!!


All of my loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


Gone Fishin

Yes, that's what I intend. I have said it for awhile on Facebook and now I'm gonna say it here too........ I wanna go fishing!!

I have asked for a crash course, so if you read this and can give me any advice, please pass it on =)

I think this weekend, I'm going to go on a fishing trip. Well, maybe not this weekend because it's Derby, but definitely very soon.

So............ pass on the info. I know the basics of what you need. I know I have to get a license. I have no clue what to do with the fish that are hooked.


Pass on the info!



Monday, April 26, 2010

Monday =D

What a fantastic day!!!!!!! I'm feeling so much better. Every day of the antibiotic, I feel a bit better =) Thank goodness!!!!!

I'm so relieved to know why I was so cranky last week!!

Sharing a pic with you guys today! I Love it!!!!!!!!!


I'm on my 11th week of no misses at the gym!! They are putting me in the next news letter YAY!!!!!! I'm looking and feeling so good!! =D

I even went when I was sick!!

Okay, I got a ton of stuff to do, but wanted to give an update!!

Love you guys


Sunday, April 25, 2010


Feeling a bit better.

I'm a tad bit tired of rain.

Have to share.....One more pic of my peonies!! Oh and PS, You know how I wished I had a fuschia Azalea bush? A red one bloomed in my yard today!! I had a bush on the corner and last year it didn't bloom, so I cut it back so it was such a nice suprise to find out it was an azalea bush and the flowers are sprouting all over! Pics of that tomorrow!


Going to bed early to try to get well rested so I can get back to my full energy level.





Feeling a bit better.

I'm a tad bit tired of rain.

Going to bed early to try to get well rested so I get back to my full energy level.




Saturday, April 24, 2010

It's Saturday

What a long day. For the past two days, everything has been making me cry. Cry, cry, cry. Well, last night I started feeling awful, achy, tired, chilled, ear ache. This morning woke up and wow, my ear was throbbing, painful and I was weepy as could be. I went to the Dr. and have an ear infection. She said there was lots of fluid and it was really red. I'm on some pretty strong antibiotics and now that I have taken a couple today, I hope I'm getting a good headstart on recovery.

That pain stinks.

Anthony's prom was tonight and I am uploading pics to share a few with you guys on here. =)

My evening was wonderful. I am quite smitten with someone and .......well.....I dunno. =) It's nice and well.... =) Enough about that...For now ;) here's pics!!
Please ignore my looks ...... I had no clue I would be in pics and well, being sick and having a fever =) No make up LOL!
Hope you guys enjoyed the pics!!

Happy Saturday, pray my ear heals quickly so I can get back to normal!



Friday, April 23, 2010

Hmm it's Friday

Well, I'm not going to make this long because there's not too much good happening this week.

This week has tried my patience enough for 20 people. It's had good moments, but for the most part has been emotionally draining, leaving me exhausted.

This morning after taking Anthony and Savannah to school, I came home and cried my eyes out and fell asleep.

I was going to not go to the gym and just sit and cry. Picked my head up and went and I was glad I did. Saw my friends for a bit. Made some new friends.

Anyways I wrote to Community Groups about what was wrong, so just pray for me. Continue to pray for me til this situation resolves itself.

Thanks and thanks and thanks!!



Thursday, April 22, 2010

I am such a NERD

I am so in love with these stinking flowers!!! I wake up every morning and go running to the door like it's Christmas to see if my flowers are any bigger!!

Last night I was working in the yard and I was going over to them and telling them they had better grow and that they were so pretty!

I never learned how to do yardwork. EVER........So, I'm so excited.

I love having my own yard, I love having my own house. I love having to learn to do everything myself and then sit back and see if it worked!!

I actually have a few green buds in my flower beds!!!!!!!!!!!! Not that I checked with a magnifying glass or anything =P

You guys will probably get step by step coverage of my lil buds forming!!

From buds to blooms LOL!!!

My Peonies should be opening any day!! I want a fuschia Azalea bush sooooooooooo bad I can taste it. They already bloomed for this year, so I'll have to find out when to plant them for next year.

Okay, got a busy day, but then again I always have busy days!

Anthony gets his Tux today for prom Saturday YAY!!

Have a fantastic flowery Thursday!! I got to spend yesterday with Baby E and Justus and today Savannah and I get to watch Violet YAY!!!!! Tops off the day!

Flowers YAY!

Thursday YAY!!



Wednesday, April 21, 2010

My favorite thing

On this planet is flowers =D. Like you couldn't tell that from my photo blog. Here are a few pics of my Peonies and the flowers in the boxes that Elmer sent. The flowers in the flower bed, haven't sprouted yet, but these ones have =). I'm soooooo excited!! First the Peonies....
Here are my lil bouncing babies!!!! I can't tell you how excited I was to see lil sprouts in there!!

Have a question..... Love

I have a question for you guys.

God shows me areas I need to work on all the time. Sunday was one example of something I am trying to do and do not know how to do.

How do you accept love? Love from God, love from family, love from friends? How do you accept it, when you have a core belief that you do not deserve it?

I guess this is the part where I believe that mental abuse is a lot worse than physical abuse. Hearing how bad I was from a small child it's etched into my brain now that I am bad and deserve nothing. Especially not love.

How can I ever have a relationship when I can't accept love? You can't take love and place it in my hand, it's accepting something that you can't see.

I have had this problem with every relationship I have had. Every single one. I end up leaving them before they leave me, because how can I possibly be loved?

It's hard to make someone understand why I do the things I do.... Here it is in black and white, humiliating as it can be...... I think I am that bad to not deserve love.... Help.

I was saying my prayers the other night and God said to me loud and clear, "I'm not going to leave you, I will not forsake you" He said it again and again.

Funny, that same night I read it in the bible. I didn't know that line was even in the bible. That's how I know it was God's voice. I was told that what God says aligns with what's in the bible.... Pretty amazing considering I haven't read the bible. I am reading it now, but have not other than what hangs on walls.

It answers my question that I am not ready to date. If I did I would screw it all up again. I have to figure out how to accept love.

I can't even accept love God wants to give me. I know I love people. I love my children, my family, my dogs.

I can't wrap my brain around it. I try to rationalize it. I can't. I don't know how to accept something you can't see.

Someone said you can't fully give love and you can't fully love someone unless you accept love. I feel I love people, do I?

It's all so complicated. I know I love my children. I know I love my family. I think of how do I know? Is it the way I pray for them? Is it the things I do for them? Is it how I act towards them?

Do I expect them to throw themselves in front of a bus to prove they love me? Would that work? I don't get it.

What is it? I think did I love Elmer? Kyle? It's complicated.

Was my lack of being able to accept love the problem in all of this? Did I cause all the problems in my past relationships?

If I was good why did Juan (sons dad not him) want to kill me? Why did he hit me? Why did he tear up my stuff? Why did he throw me down steps? Why did he break my arm? If I was someone, if I was able to be loved, why did he do those things?

Why did Mary always tell me I hurt my dad and that I should be ashamed of myself for hurting my dad. Why did she take away my room if I was worth loving? Why did they take away my car, why did they say such awful things to me if I was worth loving?

I could go on and on and on......

How do I change those beliefs of what I deserve?

My mind goes crazy.

I worked through forgiveness with Kyle. Did I love him? Yes, he's the father of my child. I think towards the end so many bad things had happened that I could no longer fully love him the way he deserved. Too much bad.

Elmer......Well, of course I loved him. We would've never worked the way things were. Doesn't mean I didn't love him. Sometimes if you love someone the best thing you can do for them is to let them go.

Does any of this make any sense? I'm confusing myself more.

With that being said....... I can give it, but I can't accept it. How do you believe you deserve it? How do I change this to not let it affect my future relationships?

When I was hit it was so much easier. Words......they last forever and when you don't believe you deserve something like love.......

UGH. Help..... advice? Experience? Help =(

Pray for me, because this is a huge struggle for me.


Happy Wednesday



Tuesday, April 20, 2010


Just a quick update. I have been gone all day and everything I have set out to do has either A. Gone wrong or B. Taken twice as long...........

Have Community groups tonight so YAY!

I'm so exhausted it's not even funny. Allergies are bothering me and the meds I am taking make me so sleepy. zzzzzzz.

Okay, not much else happening, just trying to make it through the day.

Savannah comes home tomorrow YAY!



Monday, April 19, 2010

YAY and YAY and YAY!! =)

If I would've written this, this morning it would not have been real pleasant. It was crunch time on a few things and I was wondering how it was going to work out. I was lonely. I was sad. I was on a pity pot.

Went back to my room, cried, said some prayers....Decided to get off my pity pot, wiped the tears off my face, gave God all my problems. It was too much for me... So, I went to the gym..........

How everything can change drastically in an instant is beyond me....... I mean.... Wow.

First things first....... The Y had a health fair going on so I went to it w/ Angel. Got my blood pressure checked 112/70 YAY!! =) Got on their scale and I was 10 lbs lower than I had been over the weekend. Which would put me at almost 50 lbs. I have to double check it on a few pounds and don't think it's possible, but it was right for Angels weight.

Second on the list.......They asked if they could do an article on me for the newspaper there =) I haven't missed a single day in 10 weeks except when they were closed on Easter and I have lost a ton of weight =D I'm so excited!!

Third =D was a text came in and well......It totally got me out of the crunch I was in financially. =D Perfect timing!!!!! God is good.

And yet lastly but not leastly =P .......... well, I'm not sure I want to share that yet. But things are happening. I got a lot of thinking I need to do. A lot. Sometimes things or people come your way and you just can't say no to them.

So..... with that being said and I have to carefully weigh my decision and if anything comes of it I will share, but =)


My day could not get any better. Funny how in an hour my day went from crying to on top of the world.

God moved mountains for me today and I was so humbled over it all, I about boo hooed on my elliptical.

So amazing and I love him.



Sunday, April 18, 2010

Happy Sunday =D

This morning started out rocky, but......... I got back on track quickly. Felt like when Daniel was taking apart the Gospel this morning he was talking directly to me.

I had prayed for a definite answer and I was given a very specific, poignant answer. Left no room for ifs ands or buts. =D I am so thankful.

It's okay to mess up!!I totally learned that this morning!! =D It's okay to say the wrong thing, to do the wrong thing. God's grace covers it!! Thank God!

Okay, a quick my life update!

Yesterday was wonderful!!

Evening was wonderful =D

Yesterday afternoon my mom and I watched the best movie. Everybody's Fine. It was a very moving movie. I recommend it.

I am 3.5 months into my 6 months of no dating rule. ACK! ACK! ACK!
It has been totally therapeutic, but getting harder to say no.

My 5 n half lb. weight loss stuck. =D 39 lbs!

Funny, Mike will come over and introduce all his clients to me. I haven't missed a single day in 10 weeks!! Easter they were closed, but I still exercised! I'm quite motivational =)

I want it, I will have it. I can do it. I am looking great and feeling fantastic!! I WILL do it!

I am so happy today. My spirits are super high, my confidence is super high, God gave me a direct answer, I am in love with him and with life!

Could things get any better?

That's my update in a nutshell!! Things could not be any better!!!!

Have a fantastic Sunday.




Saturday, April 17, 2010

Saturday =)

Hullooooo on Saturday!

Savannah had her 2nd soccer game and won! YAY!! 4 to 1 =D she did so good out there!! Her coach cracks me up. He's like the pee wee version of Bobby Knight. Last week we kept waiting for him to throw chairs. Savannah's a lil scared of him! Me too!! =P Very nice fellow, just a yeller =)

Went and worked out after her game and shoooooo, I'm a lil tired.

It's Thunder Over Louisville day and I have got asked to a bunch of different cook outs and parties and so on...... Chris invited me to go to the top of the park w/ him and his son to watch the fireworks. /shrug

So, not sure what the evening holds, I know the afternoon holds ribs!! Gotta be over there at 4, so I have 3 hours to exercise enough to eat the ribs!

Church tomorrow YAY!!!

My friend Melody sent me a email about being thankful for things. I read the article and got to, I'm really not. It's always wanting something better when in reality, I'm extremely blessed.

I have a house in which I am totally in love with. It's not big, it's not fancy, but it's mine. It's the first time outside the women's shelter I have ever lived alone. I am very blessed to have this house.

I complain about my eye sight, but at least I can see. I complain about my stomach always hurting, but at least I can eat. I don't have a lot of food and I have nothing anyone would consider a delicacy, but I have food. I don't have fancy clothes or expensive clothes, but I have clothes. I don't have a lot of shoes, but at least I have shoes. My kids can be trying sometimes, but at least I have healthy children full of compassion, empathy and love. My mattress is getting old and the seams are coming apart, but at least I have a bed. I could go on and on =)

I stepped outside my own box and looked around at people who have none of the above.

I should be down on my knees thanking God for what I do have, instead of wanting more.

I'm happy, I have joy, I have love.... I asked God for friends and he gave me soooooooo many it makes me want to cry tears of joy. I'm not lonely anymore. I don't NEED anyone but God, but he gave me friends to enjoy life with.

What a place to be. Going to take into account the *I wishes* and replace them with Thanks.

Blessed, lucky, happy and surrounded by loving family and friends.

Thank you God =)

Love you all =D


Friday, April 16, 2010

Windy Friday!!

Hi hi hiiiiii =D Okay, I am really ecstatic. Next to the scales at the gym they have an emergency button to push, well, today I got on the scales and it showed a 5 and a half pound loss. I almost passed out and jumped in between scales the old klunkers and the digital.

I wanted to push that button and scream into the speaker "I lost almost 6 lbs this week" but I refrained. /sigh

Both said the same. Gonna try to confirm it tomorrow, but I hopeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it's correct That's just one week!! I don't wanna get excited though until it sticks.

Me, Curl n Linney had a really nice conversation yesterday about God and what special things he helps us see or ways he has touched us. I love hearing what he has done for others and I love sharing what he did for me.

He always gives me wisdom to see something I didn't.

I have complained on this blog before about a handful of people who never contact me, never call me, never even think of me.......unless they need something.

Need a haircut, need pictures taken, need their computer fixed. This has been happening for years upon years. It was wearing me out and Dianna Miss politey pants didn't want to say no. It might "Hurt their feelings" I didn't think of my own worth and how much it hurt that these people wanted nothing to do with me any other time than when they wanted something.

A month ago a few from the handful group needed their computer fixed again...... I was so hurt, because at that time I really needed friends and was just mad because they didn't want me, only what I could do for them. I got a wake up call when I said "I love how people only call me when they want something from me"

A big light came on over my head and said "I bet that's how God feels about me" I felt so low. The fact was up until recently anytime I went to God was when I *needed/wanted* something.

Never went to him to talk or to be thankful for what he had given to me. Just pushed him aside, forgot about him, until I needed something.

Since that was revealed to me, I make it a key point just to talk to God and ask about him and show extra thanks for what I do have.

I don't ever want to make him feel like that. Maybe that was point God was trying to teach me. It wasn't about saying no, it was about making me see what it's like when someone only turns to you when they need/want something.

So selfish of me. Lesson learned.

All of us are so selfish. I never thought that word applied to me, but it sure does. I am selfish and it's an area I need to work on.

Okay, Happy Friday =)

Much Love


Thursday, April 15, 2010


Had a bit of a trying morning, but I'm back on track =)

Baby E has that effect on me. You can't possibly be in a sad or bad mood around her. Her smile lights up the whole entire room and she says the cutest things ever. I totally love her!!

Today I got to spend the afternoon taking care of both Justus and baby E. I had forgotten how much work it is! God blessed me with the best family ever.

I went to the gym early, early!! Down 35 lbs yay and yay!!!!!

Went and bought potting soil and came home and planted all the flowers Elmer sent!

I am sooooooooooooooooo excited about them! I will be out there every day to check and see if they have grown.

Weird statement, but I want to go fishing so badly. I have never been and I have this strong will to go. I saw a commercial for and I wanted to go there. I want to learn to fish =)

Okay, I am off to spend time with the lovely Savannah banana!!

Have a fantastic evening everyone.



Wednesday, April 14, 2010


Happy Wednesday.

Have been gone all day, finally sitting down to my computer.

My fingers are too tired to write, so I'll just say good night.



Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Testing Tuesday

Well, it's Tuesday.

Have had a trying morning. Usually my normal routine would be to vent to anyone who would listen...... Vent, vent, vent... As of late, I have been venting a TON less to people and handing my problems to God. He can make everything as it should be.

As I wrote a couple of weeks ago, I have trouble giving things to God and then taking them back and I start back over, handing them back to God. Rinse, repeat. This has been the hardest for me along with faith and they both go hand n hand.

This morning another issue arose only.... it's not my issue in a round about way. I gave it to God. I'm trying like crazy to not let it upset me. The old me has peeked out a few times and I just have to breathe and remember I'm not her anymore and I go about my way.

I keep handing the issue over to God, taking it back to my own thoughts and then handing it back.

Mentally this is tiring.

The more I try to live right, I learn that life is a constant struggle between good and evil.

I never knew the depth of it. I never fully understood it. It's the premise of tons of TV shows, tons of movies and I guess it's that way because .........It is. Everything is good vs. evil.

I don't want to give up, I don't want to get lost. My desire to do good is greater than my desire to do bad. Trying to unlearn my responses is hard. This is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

Anything worth having is hard.

If it was easy we wouldn't appreciate it so much.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4)

God saved me and I will never forget that day.

No matter what the struggle, no matter how much I want just blurt out the first angry thought that comes into my head........ I stop, I breathe and I remember the best thing I can do for anyone is to pray for them.

I can't change people, but I can change how I react to them.

I can choose between right and wrong and I WILL slip up a lot and choose wrong. But the will in my heart grows greater every day to choose right. If I am about to do something wrong or say something wrong, a feeling inside lets me know it.

I have read a lot about how the holy spirit dwells inside each of us and how you can tell what's right or wrong in your life by the feelings you have inside.

Before I was even saved by God, I had those feelings. I would say "I feel like something is wrong, but I don't know what" I said this all the time.

There was a lot wrong. God pruned my life and is still pruning and pruning....making way for new seasons in my life. =D

Some of the pruning hurts. It hurts bad, but he's there with me to help me through. That's the greatest comfort of all. He knows what is bad for me, he knows what is good for me and takes the bad out. It's awesome the way it works. But it's also hard at times.

Especially on days like today that are a struggle. A day like today where I feel weak and have cried a lot this morning. Today is very hard and very trying. I have to get up, give it back to God and let it go.

Things and people can steal our joy, but that's a choice *I* make. Do I choose to give all my problems back to God (who will gladly take them) Or do I want to sit and mope and cry about it all day?

Easy choice

I choose God =D

He turns my mourning into dancing =) So, I'm off to the gym, giving my problems back to him and focusing on happy things and happy thoughts. Focusing on that joy he put in my heart.

Letting that joy be taken is a choice I make. I need to tattoo that on my forehead. It is a choice I MAKE.

Taking the joy back to my heart that he put there. A gift he gave me, a gift *I* choose to accept.

Good vs evil. I choose GOOD =)

God is everything good. EVERYTHING GOOD =D

I love him.

I would appreciate any prayers for me, if you could for strength and wisdom =D

Thanks and have a wonderful Tuesday.



***Have to add an update to this, it is really testing the gym I was tested AGAIN and put in a spot where I had to think quickly and ugh. I hope and pray I did the right thing. I was crying there on the ab machine because I was put into such an awkward situation. Sigh. I hope I did the right thing.

Good notes down 34 lbs and the boys old karate teacher wants me to come get him next time I'm in there so he can start teaching me how to kick box =D I'm not sure if I'm ready for it, but he seems to think I am =) I told Angel I'm gonna make her go do it with me so I'm not so scared LOL!!

34 lbs YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, April 12, 2010

Antsy Monday =P


The following is a true story and is not intended for people who love ants. This writing contains graphic scenes, including, but not limited to death of ants by windex, the cruel death of ants by being eaten alive and squashed relentlessly by human shoes.

We have ants. Lots of ants. Bug man will be here Saturday, but I must tell you in everyone's own account of our evening last night.

Lets start with me.......


I was laying in my bed, reading the bible.

I was reading Exodus, learning about how God sent various plagues to the Egyptians. I read about the frogs, locusts, boils etc. I was to the part where God sent the flies (was appropriate reading for what awaited us), when I am startled by the screaming of my son Anthony. I hear "Oh my God" in a panic stricken voice.

I sit erect in my bed and yell "Anthony, what's wrong" after a few minutes again I hear him say "Oh my God" I scoot towards the edge of the bed and say "Anthony, what's wrong" I hear him drop something on the ground, run to the sink and start spitting and gagging.

I ask again "What happened?" I hear his girlfriend come running in and I hear him say "I felt a tickle in my mouth and it was dark in here and I ran over to turn on the lights"

I'll tell the rest of the story by others accounts below.....

I laughed so hard I literally not only could not breathe, I got a bad headache.


Ha ha ha, "Anthony ate ants" giggle, giggle! Muah ha ha ha ha ha "Tickle in his mouth" ha ha ha ha ha "It was dark and he didn't see them" Giggle, giggle, ha, ha, ha.

Claire and Opie

"Someone dropped a pop tart on the floor with ants, lets go eat it!"


"Ah dude, that's sick"

"He smiled and an ant went straight across his teeth"

"Dude, that's gross"

"Mom, did you see that? Anthony was eating a pop tart and it had ants all over it, dude brush your teeth"

"Dude, that is just sick, Holly grab the windex and lets kill them"

"Mom, the dogs have the pop tart with the ants on it"

"Dude, that's just sick"


My dreamy boyfriend and I were watching a movie. He decided he wanted a late evening snack and thought the pop tarts sounded blissfully delectable.

I sat and waited for my dreamy love in his bedroom. The door was opened a hair and I heard him rustling his superb cookie dough pop tart wrapper.

I hear him shout in his manliest of voices "Oh my God" I sprang from the floor to see what was the matter. There was my dream boat retching in the sink whilest ants crawl all over his chin.

His brother ran in and saw one go across his teeth, we collaborated to grab the Windex and defeat the beasts within my boyfriends mouth.

At the scene of the crime the pop tart lay on the floor, ants had a hostile take over of it. I start to squirt the ones on the floor. Out of the corner of my eye I see Opie and Claire approaching the pop tart. They start growling at one another over the tasty morsel that lay on the ground. One of them snatches up the ant covered confection and runs off.


Me and my snuggle bunny were laying on the floor watching a movie. My mom is back in her room reading and I wanted to be as quiet as possible to not disturb her. I wanted a cookie dough pop tart so bad my mouth was watering.

I sneak into the kitchen and it's dark. Under the soft glow of the street lamp in the window, I spot the box of the breakfast pastry. It appeared as if it were illuminated to show me the way to it!! It was calling me!

I open up the box and feel that foily wrapper cold under my hot hands. I open the treat and look at it in the light. It is my lucky day, they sprinkled extra chocolate morsels on my pastry!! I put the delectable treat to my mouth and start to chew this delightful confection. I swallow the first bite and feel something funny in my mouth. My mouth is almost tickling with delight!

I rush over to the light to flip it on............upon further inspection I realize the extra chocolate morsels were ants! Out of my horror I screamed "Oh, my God" I hear my mother in the background asking "What's wrong" i cannot answer her, I am in absolute shock feeling the ants move with in my mouth.

I throw the ant filled pastry on the ground and shout "Oh my God" again. My brother laughs and I smile at him as I feel something move across my teeth. I hear him say "dude that is gross"

My girlfriend goes to save me with a bottle of Windex and asks me if I want some in my mouth. I politely decline and start retching in the sink. I can feel the ants as they march down my esophagus.

When I get my wits about me, I retell the story. My sister is in the background laughing hysterically. I hear my mother struggling to catch her breath as she laughs.

The family pets come running in and snatch my breakfast pastry from the floor. I think they briefly fought over it, but someone won the accosted pastry.

I walk over to the shelf in the window where I see other boxes of soiled breakfast pastries. I pick them up hastily and toss them into the garbage.

Everyone still laughs at me while I retreat back to my room to ponder what the ants are doing within me.


I tell you what, I have laughed over this pop tart thing ALLLLLLL night and all day. To the point of not being able to breathe. I was crying when I had Juan at the Dr. listening to his recollection of what happened.

Bug men will be here Saturday =)

Have a happy Monday!

Hope you enjoyed our production!



Sunday, April 11, 2010


I forgot to bring my camera to the game yesterday so Kyles sister uploaded the pics she took of Savannahs game on her Facebook so I could see them!! YAY!! So, I'm going to share them with you!! They both take fantastic pics and I say thank you a million times over for sharing them with me =D
YAY! Thanks again!!

Today was wonderful but long and I'm very tired.

Started off the day with church! It was fabulous as always, but it confused me some today. It was very deep and well, I guess I have to process it all for a bit.

To the gym after that and worked out for awhile w/ Mike. No Angel. She was off with the animals at the zoo lol! I missed her terribly!!

Went to Maddies to pick her and Sophia up and the girls played all afternoon. I watched Definitely, maybe and then took the girls home after 6.

Did aerobics, did some dishes, gonna read my bible and then hit the hay very early.

I am whooped and spring break is officially over.

Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend.

Love to all


Saturday, April 10, 2010

What a wonderful Saturday!!

I have had the best day ever!! I have pics too!!

Savannah had her first soccer game of the year!! It was so much fun!! they didn't win, but they were so cute out there. I told her she was like a ninja and snuck right in there. She did really, really well!!

We then went to the gym, she played w/ Isabella in the day care and I worked out w/ Angel. Got to see my friends and as always I enjoyed working out!!

Next stop to the park for a picnic to paint!! We saw a group of guys and girls dressed in medieval attire and well...... I had no clue what they were doing there. They had swords, a ball and big button type shields. I told Savannah I used to watch this cartoon called the Gummi Bears and these guys were dressed just like them. So we called them the Gummi Bears. They kept going to the picnic tables for meetings and I told Savannah we were spying on their secret Gummi meetings. We laughed soooooooo hard!! I dunno what they were doing with this ball, but we turned it into Gummi Quidditch =)

We painted for awhile and then I let her play on the playground for a bit.

She wanted icecream so bad, but I had no cash. She kept trying to convince me the icecream man took credit cards, I kept telling her if that guy in that van took my credit card I would NOT get it back! She pouted and I will post pics of her pouting and being filled with envy over the boys at the truck!

I of course took her for icecream and we went to my moms for a bit.

Came home and worked out in the yard and just finished up the Chapter of Genisis in the bible. I really enjoyed learning about the history of Issac, Abraham, Jacob and on and on...... Was very interesting and of course my favorite was Josephs story. =) God uses bad for good =)

Okay now for pics of my perfect day. It ranks up there with one of the best ever!!

This is her eating her lunch, I liked it better in black and white, so you guys get to see both =P
Below are the Gummi Bear group =D
Savannah painting her portrait of God
Oops she spilled a lil bit of paint!
Below is her finished picture of God
Below O is my Lame O Tree O
She is painting her beautiful tree =D
Savannah laughing at my filling in the words for the Gummi Bear meeting. I was telling her we were spying and I was going to get in trouble for taking their pics. They would shout something and I would make up a meaning for it. Savannah thought this was hilarious.
Their "Meeting"
She is so beautiful!
She made me take a pic of this, she LOVED this painting I did
Below is her painting of a storm
I love her soooooooooooo much, it's unreal
LOL below is where she was trying to make her case for the icecream man taking credit cards
Below is her severe desperation. She was 5 seconds away from asking the Gummis for money
Final pic is her icecream envy! Stinking boys have all the luck!

Have a fantastic evening!!

Tomorrow is church day YAY!!!!!!

Happy, happy

I love allllllll you guys very much.

God is good!