Sunday, July 27, 2014

Psalm 23

I promised my friend Melody that I would come blog about my amazing dream last night. She said I should blog it to remember it and look back on it.

I have been taking Zoloft for almost a year and it blocks almost all my bad feelings. Every once in awhile they creep in, for the most part they stay gone. Alot of my feelings come out in dreams while I am asleep. I'm okay with that because at least I don't have to feel them.

Last night I had the most amazing dream of my life. When I thought of it this morning, I cried. When I drove home from the store I cried. God is so very good to me. He is amazing and I love Him with all of my heart and all of my soul.

In my dream I wasn't in a room or anything, I'm not quite sure where I was but I was alone. There were no colors, no furniture, nothing. I was crying and by crying I mean hysterically sobbing about loneliness. My soul felt so empty and alone and I felt the physcial pain of that.

Out of no where God spoke to me and put me on His lap. He was comforting my soul and speaking to me. I sobbed "Papa, I'm so lonely and it hurts so bad" and He said "It's all okay, it's going to be okay. It will be over soon and you will meet someone very soon"

He kept speaking to me and saying "It's all okay, it's going to be okay." Like waves washing upon the ocean, with every wave, the pain got less and less. I was on His lap and the pain was draining away.

It was the best dream of my life and my God, my Papa was with me. He was comforting my soul. All day long Psalm 23 has been in my head.

Psalm 23 King James Version (KJV)

23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

I can't even type this without tears stinging my eyes. My heart feels so empty of pain and so full of love for Father.

You don't have any clue what this means to me. He restored my soul, He comforted me, He loved on me, His daughter. He showed me mercy and compassion, He showed me what real love is. His presence...Him just being there with me. He was with me and He showed me.

That pain is so real in my life and busyness hides it, medicine hides it but the pain is still there that I am lonely.

My cup does runneth over and my God is so good to me.

I love my Father.



Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Spring is springing

Birds are singing and I CAN HEAR Them!!! Well, since I last posted I have moved into an apartment and my heart flutters with joy when I think about it. If I thanked God a million times for putting me here, it wouldn't be enough. You know that feeling that you get when you are in love, the butterflies? I get that here. When I look to my right out my window and see the view of the city.

When I go into my bedroom and take a look around I have to take a second to pause and thank God.

The goodness He has shown me is overwhelming at times. I am so thankful to Him after all that He continues to do for me and how much grace He continues to show me.

I have tears in my eyes when I think of the goodness shown to me.

Short and sweet and Oh so thankful.



Tuesday, January 28, 2014

My First 2014 Post!!

Slacking a bit on my once a month posts! Things have been hectic here and things are going great. Set to move on February 8 and can I get a praise God on that one!!!!!!!!!!

I won't have to look at the Gobbler's ugly shed, junk piles, junk cars anymore. Won't have to hear him fighting or shooting anyone anymore. Won't have to smell the awful smells that come from over there, have all his drug deals park in my yard. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just want peace and quiet!

I can't complain right now, things are going great and life is going great.

Hope everyone has a wonderful 2014 and I'll catch you in February!