Monday, February 28, 2011

Finally A Break Through!!!!

Finally, finally, FINALLY!!! Hallelujia!

I have spent the last couple months going through Redemption Group. It's been tough at times and tonight I was in a bad mood...I just didn't want to go...

I should've taken that as a sign of good things are coming.

I felt so spiritually zapped inside. I questioned my faith, questioned my God, questioned what He is doing and feeling that I knew better than He did.

I was so wrong. He has revealed so much to me. The true heart of people (good and bad), growing in faith and growing as a Christian. Learning what it means to preach the gospel to myself and actually understand what that means.

The group of women He placed me with is the biggest blessing of my life. They fed me so much of God's truth tonight. I was believing so many lies and they took all my dark places and put them into the light.

I feel like a weight was lifted and I have my joy back. =) No one can be to me what God is. My idols fail me.

It's funny when you have an idol...whether it be a person, a thing, an addiction....God has showed me slowly what my idols are. Some are noticeable, some are not. He has gently shown me what my idols are made of. Slowly at His pace I see the truth.

No one, no thing.......Nothing can be what God is to me. Now......I need to apply that daily and just pray that God keeps me close to Him and learn to believe all of His truths.


Idols do fall. Hallelujia! They fall!!




Saturday, February 26, 2011

My First Backslide.....

Yea, yea, yea. I have heard over and over again this year about people backsliding as a Christian....So...There I go.

Going down the hills quicker than I can try to even claw my way up.

I screwed up majorly and now I'm seeing it. I don't know how to get myself out of this mess.

I'm so tired of people who use others. I'm so naive to think people have changed and well...while change does happen, it hasn't in this case.

I'm so stupid. Absolutely stupid.

I don't know how to fix any of this and I need to be asking God to help me out of this pit I put myself in, instead of blaming Him for putting me back in it.

My job is going well. I'm very busy and very good at what I do. =) I'm exhausted a lot because I work all the time......But, it's all a good thing.

Pray for me and pray for me to be able to close the door I opened yet again....The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

I keep hoping that the results are different.

They never are.

You know when people use crushes their spirit. No matter what you use them for. Use them for your own happiness, use them to do something for you, use them to do things you don't want to do, use them as a fill-in when someone else can't be with you.

It's wrong to use people. Sometimes people just want to be wanted. Want someone to call them just because they wanted to hear their voice....

John 10:10....I know it by heart. The thief comes only to kill, steal and destroy.....I came so that we might have life and have it in abundance.

Grumble..I'm an idiot.



Wednesday, February 16, 2011


I dis-like when people disappoint me over n over n over n over n over again. That's why I'm so glad God will never disappoint me. =) Ever.

Work is going okay.....Been sick and it's made it harder.

Getting ready to go to work this morning.

Pray for me.



Sunday, February 13, 2011

One step closer to spring =)

Planted my lil seedlings in the indoor seed starter kit =)

Didn't plant all of them in case I do something wrong.

Can't wait to see them sprout on up =)




Wednesday, February 02, 2011

A lil update

My life is about to get tons busier, so taking the time to update a bit before I disappear for a bit.

Quick question.....any of you guys know how to make my Facebook Profile private? I had to get the new profile and the options aren't in the same place and some how it's public. Yikes!!

I start work Friday =) They hurried and got me in there. I felt the love as they were all wanting me on their shift <3 They said I will liven the place up! It's refreshing to hear things like that and how much good energy I put off. Compliment after compliment! Such a change! I have to go pants shopping tomorrow =) Since I lost so much weight, it actually won't be a dread! Looking forward to it!! People have been telling me lately "Your hair looks fantastic, when did you get it done?" No exaggeration probably 8 people in the last couple weeks. My hair has always been the same LOL it's just the weight loss! When I tell them that, they are like "omg yea". ( I can't get a double space in here and it's making me crazy) A couple of months ago I thought my night blooming jasmine was going to the great green house in the sky. All her leaves were falling off and ugh I was just sad. Last week she took off like a mad crazy woman with sprouting. As you can see below, she lost her leaves for new ones!! Photobucket

And below is all her growing!!


She's looking just as gorgeous as she did over the summer! My brother and his wife came over the other day and said they had to get one. She smells so good and bloomed 3 times over the summer.

I got all my starter stuff for my seeds and going to plant them this weekend in the tiny green house! =)

Hmmm can't think of much else and it will probably be awhile til I post again. I literally am either working, going to CPR, computer class and orientation every night and day. On top of that being a mom, working out and doing the other stuff I do.

Life so rocks.

Praise God =)

I loves Him!

Shoot me an email a/b FB if you know!

Love, Love, Love