Thursday, December 30, 2010


This morning my head is swirling at all the changes of late and none of it makes any sense. This post will be rambling =)

I have been holding onto God tightly...I don't know where all this is going, I just know that He promises to work everything together for good.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

It may seem (it is)crazy right now, but it's just a stepping stone into something good because it is written that it will be good.

I'm tired. I'm angry at myself. I'm confused about multiple things. I'm scared. I'm sad.

One positive thing I noticed in my year of changes is that I have been taking my thoughts and making them captive to Christ. Almost instantly when I think something bad I remember God's truth. That for me is changing 38 years worth of non-sense I speak to myself. Truth will set you free.

He has been delivering peace to me over and over and over again. I have cried out continously for help lately and always He is there!

He will never, ever leave me. He will never stop loving me. He won't lie to me. He won't forsake me. He LOVES me. Truly.

Sometimes He gets quiet and I begged Him not to go quiet right now. I couldn't take that with the multitude of everything else going on.

I have to hold on and know He is always there.

I wish the changes would stop, but I guess that's the thing I can count on is things will always change.

Have to remember the good changes too.....Like I've lost so much weight and my body changing was a HUGE good change.

I can run 6 full miles without stopping......good change.

Taking my bad thoughts and putting God's truth on them....good change.

Lots and lots of good changes.

Funny, I asked God the other day in my anger....Why? Why? Why? Why do some people seem to get off so easy on the things they do and why am I always called out to do the right thing?????

His answer came immediately. Loud and clear...."Because I expect better out of you."

=) I love Him.

Have a great new year.

As you can tell my post was all over the place, that's about how my brain is right now.

Been a very, very wonderful year for me. Full of positive changes.

I can't wait to see what good He is working out for me through this current batch of changes.



Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas Night

Saying bye to Christmas this year has proven a little tough. It truly has been one of the best Christmas's I have ever had.

*It was a perfect white Christmas.
*I am surrounded by wonderful family and friends.
*Jesus the light of this world was born.
*All my children were home and are well.
*I got everything I could ask or hope for.
*People really, really love me.
*God really, really loves me.
*God has blessed me more than I could ever dream of.

Tonight I will go to sleep. Tomorrow God willing I will wake up and life will be back to normal.

Next holiday Valentine's day and I will count down the days til spring comes.

Happy Birthday baby Jesus. I love and need you.

Merry Christmas.

Much Love,


Monday, December 13, 2010

Looking for some good in winter

In the days of missing summer, I'm trying to find the positives in winter when a.) It's not even winter yet b.) It's cold, snowy and we are trapped in the house.

This is gonna be hard!!

*I'll start with my personal favorite....Navel oranges are in season!! I bought a huge bag yesterday. They taste so good this time of year. I absolutely LOVE them!

*The snow makes everything look clean!

*After the brutal summer, the brutal cold is a little (and I stress little) depressing.

*The gym is less crowded. (til January LOL)

*Jesus birthday!! =)

*My Christmas tree smells heavenly!

*I love my blue jeans

*Anthony's home from college for Christmas break!

*My dogs get their winter coats and they are soooooo soft.

Okay, that's all the happiness for winter I can take right now!! Gonna go find some snuggly socks!!

I Love me some socks!!!! My ducky ones got a hole in them, wahhhhh! That's okay, an orange is a quick fix solution!

Off to eat one =)

Have a fantastic snow day!



Sunday, December 12, 2010


Not sure if I ever blogged about Betty, but she's a wonderful woman I workout with at the gym.

Going as much as I do, for as long as I have, you become attached to the people.

There's a woman there named Betty. I have watched her for 2 years lift weights, jog, exercise. Always with a huge smile on her face and always with kind words to say to everyone else. She's 75 years old and I never said much to her other than hi til a few months ago.

I got the honor of working out next to her quite a bit lately. I asked her how she has such ambition at her age. It's amazing to watch, especially when she always has a smile on her face.

She told me that she had cancer a few years ago. Lung cancer. It's back now and stage 2. She said as long as she's working out, she's fighting the cancer. As long as she's in there, it hasn't beat her yet.

Her husband is also battling cancer. A battle they are doing together. So, every day I go in and it's an inspiration to watch.

I didn't see her last week and I started wondering where she was. Yesterday at the gym Mike said she had, had a stroke and would be out for awhile.

Broke my heart. Another reason cancer stinks.

Please pray for Betty. She is a visible image of courage.

She called the Y to tell them she would be back in a couple of months.

I know she will be.




Tuesday, December 07, 2010

My new hat YAY!!

It is one of the best items ever given tooooooooo me YAY!!

I Loves it!



~me, me, me!

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Oh, so beautifully broken


This isn't the first time I have shared this ornament. I have posted pics of him before...But, I have never told his story.

I had one year in my life without a Christmas tree. Without a Christmas. I was living in Virgina, my husband was abusive...Need I really say more about that?

I had begged for a Christmas tree over and over. I wasn't going to get to be with my family and I had no one but Jennie and she was doing stuff with her own family. Most of the base had gone home for Christmas. I was lonely.

I went to the Commissary and bought a pack of Christmas lights and attempted to tape them to the wall in the shape of a Christmas tree. It looked awful, but I was trying with all my might to get them to stay. My husband was laughing over and over as I tried. I sat there just looking at them lay on the floor and cried.

When I cried, it always made him really mad. I can't remember the sequence of events, but he grabbed my baby and made a comment something like "Do you want something to cry over?" He was sitting near the window and made gestures like he was going to throw him out the window.

I got up off the floor and first tried asking for Juan. He was jerking him around and acting like he was going to throw him out the window. Juan (my son) was screaming as he was tossing him around. I tried like hell to get him out of his hands. He kicked me repeatedly and my son was still screaming. I kept going and trying to get my baby from him. He kicked me again, so hard that I felt my arm snap. I was in sooo much pain, but kept trying to get Juan from him. I still see Juan's face, reaching out for me and screaming. He was so scared.

Finally, he threw Juan in my arms and I ran with Anthony out to the hall. I was crying so hard and looked at my arm. It was swollen and I had so many bruises that had already popped up.

Jennie of course watched my kids while I spent my Christmas Eve in the Emergency room. I sat there and made up a thousand different lies as to what happened. I cried for hours.

The Doctors put an air cast on me, put my arm in a sling and sent me home. I had told them that I hit it (on the table) picking something up off the floor...In abusive relationships you get pretty good at making up excuses where the bruises come from. The next day my arm was swollen pretty big, bruised,painful.....But nothing was quite as broken as my spirit.

If you follow frequently, then you know I made it out of that relationship successfully and never went back. Many thanks to the Center For Women and Families here in Louisville =)

I made it a point to celebrate Christmas every single year. No matter what, I would have a Christmas tree.

My second Christmas after all that had happened, I lived in an apartment complex. I was walking to the dumpster and someone had thrown their whole tree in. On the ground below it was this soldier. Wet, paint chipped. Someone had stepped on him and broken his arm off.. But he was precious to me because of what he stood for in my life.

So much beauty in life comes from things that are beautifully broken. I picked him up and told him that every single year, he would have the place of honor on my tree. I also promised him that one year, one year we would have enough money to hang him on a very real Christmas tree.

Years came and went and for this reason or that we could never have a real tree.

I'm proud to announce that this year I hung my beautifully broken soldier on a very real Christmas tree.

It may not seem like a big deal to anyone, but nothing yesterday could've wiped the smile off my face. I went and picked it out, got it home, did everything on my own.

Last night we had a tree decorating party. Me and my family...I took my soldier out of his keeping place and put him in the best spot on the tree.

God did that for me. He took this person so broken inside and out and made me something. Took what people threw out for trash and stepped on..He not only picked me up...He wanted me. Shined me up and I'd like to think if there's a Christmas tree in heaven, He puts me in a very good spot. I know I'm in His hands and that's the best place to be.

What looks like trash to some, is treasure to others.

Til the day I die, I will hang that soldier proudly on my tree. I will never attempt to fix him, because I think he's perfect as he is.

Serves as a reminder to me of what I came from and where God brought me.

Here's a picture of my first ever real tree. Still brings tears to my eyes.

I will enjoy every second of My Saviors birth this year.


God is so awesome!!



Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Happy December!!

We went to Light Up Louisville on Friday night!! It was cold but awesome! I'm so stinking happy it's the holidays it's unreal!

I don't wanna miss ANYTHING!! Here's some pics I took down at the lighting of the Christmas tree and city =)

Here are the fireworks they let off when we counted down

Juan and Savannah

Savannah being a Jedi!

We ALL wore our Chucks LOL! That's good planning!

Heading down to Fourth street!

City Hall =) It looked sooooooo beautiful!

The last is of my very first real Christmas tree. I tell you what I could cry I'm so happy! I have had a smile plastered across my face all day because I HAVE A REAL CHRISTMAS TREE!!!!!!! Waiting on Savannah to get here so we can decorate it!!

YAY for Baby Jesus Birthday!!