So Juan gets up, gets ready. Starts giving Kyle trouble about going to school. Kyle tries to drive him down to bus stop, he won't go. Bus comes, he stands in middle of street. Will not get on, will not go. So I call the school and ask if someone can be patient with him etc. etc. She starts defending her counselors etc. etc. I say "All I AM ASKING OF YOU IS THAT YOU BE NICE TO HIM RIGHT NOW" She was like well he has to keep his shirt tucked in those are the rules. Screw the freaking shirt at this point, I'm trying to get him in the damn front door.
So Kyle is taking him there now. I haven't a clue what will happen. I got very mad and hollered at him because he kept throwing his backpack out of the car. I am frustrated beyond belief. Kyle could lose is job and is losing pay everytime he takes off work for this. He's getting mad at me, but either or, someone has to get Savannah off to school and get her ready. Someone has to be at both places.
I am so stressed it's unreal. All these problems and one more with Juan thrown right back on top. I'm beyond angry. I have spent 11 years dealing with Juan and his problems. I am tired of them. I don't really feel sorry for him anymore. That may make me sound like a horrible, horrible person. No one knows what it's like to every day walk on eggshells so you don't start a fit. Deal with phone call after phone call from school. Sure he has very good days, but there are so many bad too. I can't get myself together, I can't take care of my problems because I am so wrapped up in Juans stuff, Kyle and my troubles, insurance woes, trying to hide Savannah from Juan so she doesn't pick up on his fear and then we have 2. Anthony gets neglected because there just isn't any time left after messing with Juan. I'm tired. I am officially down, I don't even have enough strength to wave a white flag.
I play Toon Town every day and no one really understands why, imagine for just a little while going to a different world where there isn't any of this crap. It takes me away for just a little while. I need a break. A big serious break and I will never get one. The punches fly at me from every direction. This will happen again tomorrow and then again Friday. Saturday there will be some reprieve then Sunday fits will start and then Monday this whole shebang will happen again. I Have done this many, many years. I haven't the strength to do it again.
1 comment:
I am so sorry...I wish I could do something to help you, you deserve a break and I am so sorry you aren't getting one.
I have a little cousin (I guess hes not little anymore hes 18) but when you talk about all the things going on with Juan I can picture my little man...he had horrible violent fits, he to had the great days where you remembered why you loved him, then he would blow up at small things...he wouldn't go to school either...I was with him everyday, I was the one that chased him up and down the street when he was mad, the one who dragged him out of bed and to school...I wish there was a magic fix for you and for my little man...I am just so sorry :(
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