Sunday, February 08, 2009

Missin Van...

Crying this morning. I miss Savannah so much =(. Seems like with this stupid dance, she's always with Kyle. You take someone you have seen every day of her life and then go to not seeing her for days at a time........ It's hard. Kyle and I talked for awhile yesterday, no arguing, just talking and it was nice... Then this morning when I miss her so much I get so angry again at him.
She can't go to church today because of again yet another dance activity and I don't even wanna go because I will probably sit there and cry. I really enjoy my Sundays with her.
You know when she's here, she always wants to call him over and over and over... she rarely calls me. I know it's harder cause he doesn't have a land line and he only has a work cell with limited calls. I just don't feel she misses me much at all.
I would like to say partially that's my fault. Last year when I was so sick, I wasn't worth a crap to anyone. I don't even remember anything I did last year at all. Again that just makes me mad. I hate that mold. I feel like it robbed me of a whole year of my life. She grew closer with Kyle that year.
We used to go to the zoo all the time, plan big parties, go shopping. We were always busy and doing stuff together.
I wish we would've never moved to this house. My dr said I'm lucky it wasn't worse cause that mold has killed people, for the most part it did. I have to undo everything that was done in that year.
On a brighter note and to keep from crying, I put my goal pants on again and they are loose, so where as in Dec, I couldn't fit them til the end, I can now fit them and prob take them off without unbuttoning them.
So that's a happy note.

1 comment:

for_the_lonely said...

I can not wait until you have your new place, Di!!! I know that there is a lot more beauty in store for you...keep your face to the sunshine and you'll always be in the light!

Thinking of you and sending you love!!!