Hearing From God

I love God! He has a sense of humor too! The closer I become to him, the more I understand this speaking thing. Sometimes, when it happens, it's so strange!! I have learned that God doesn't always use an inner voice.........Sometimes he uses others.

Did I mention I love God LOL!! I have been VERY impatient as of late. Not angry and not moody, just impatient. I know he is trying to teach me patience and some of things that are popping my way....Well, they make me smile! =D

You know I can be having a dark weepy moment and go back to read my bible or my book that's called Hearing From God Each Morning and just turn to a random page and it is filled with stuff I'm dealing with at that moment.

Last night I was saying my prayers and I was a bit miffed about how some people even though (from my perspective)don't seem nice....They have done bad things or do bad things...... but seemingly everything just works out for them. I have a hard time dealing with this most. It's hard when I know what's in my heart. I have done and said some bad things in the past.... I'm not proud of those things. I think that's where God is trying to place patience the most. When I'm hurt, defense mechanism kicks in to try to hurt them back. I have to stop that. Inside my heart though, I know what's there. It's full of love and I have had enough heartbreak in it to keep Shakespeare busy for his eternity........ Through all the pain and bad I still have so much love......So, I was asking God to please help me understand. I asked him to "Please help me understand" He showed me two things and I just sit here smiling at the way all this works. How could people not believe there is a God? Why didn't I seek him so long ago? He is amazing!!

Anywhoo.......I'm going to share my response from God =D

I asked God to make me understand....Here is the page I turned to!

God Cares About Every Detail

Are not two little sparrow sold for a penny? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father's leave (consent) and notice. But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, you are more value than many sparrows. (MATTHEW 10:29-31)

Through the power of the Holy Spirit, God wants to speak to you every day. He wants to lead you step-by-step away from trouble and into the good things He has in store for you. He cares about the tiniest details of your life. According to the verses for today, He even keeps track of how many hairs you have on your head. He cares about the desires of your heart, and He wants to reveal to you truth that will set you free from worry and fear.

God's plan to share an intimate relationship with you existed before you were even born, as you can read in Psalm, 139:16: "Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days(of my life) were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them" God knows all of our days and has a plan for each one. If we will ask Him what we are to do each day and believe that He is guiding us, we will find ourselves fulfilling His plan for our lives.

It seems incomprehensible that God could have a plan for every person on Earth, but also brings great peace to know He can take chaos and turn it into something meaningful and worthwhile. Spend time getting to know God because His plan is unveiled through intimate relationships with Him.

Remember that God even keeps track of the sparrows---He is surely in control of whatever life brings you today.

So...... that is number one and the second thing.....

LOL, I sat at my computer and saw I had a mail from Joel Olsteen Ministry. I said before I opened, it...."Okay, God what are you going to tell me this morning" I KNEW it was a message for me LOL!! So....... this is what it said.

TODAY'S SCRIPTURE
"…I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances"
(Philippians 4:11, NIV))



TODAY'S WORD from Joel and Victoria
It's easy in life to get so focused on our dreams, goals, and what we want that it consumes us. We can get to the point where we're not going to be happy until it happens. But I've found that if we have to have something in order to be happy, our lives are out of balance. When our goals and dreams start to frustrate us, when we lose our peace, and we're not enjoying life; that's a sure sign that we're holding on too tightly. What's the solution? You've got to release it. Freedom comes when you say, "God, I'm turning it all over to You. You know my desires, and You know what's best for me. I'm choosing to trust You and trust Your timing."

When we learn to be content whatever the circumstances, it takes away the power of the enemy. It takes away his ability to frustrate us. Not only that, but by our actions we are showing our faith in God. When you choose to trust in His timing, you can live in peace, you can live in joy, and you can rest in Him knowing that He has good things in store for your future.



A PRAYER FOR TODAY
Heavenly Father, today I choose to trust in You. I release frustration over the dreams and desires in my heart, knowing that You know what's best for me. I choose to trust in Your timing because You are faithful, and I will bless You in all things. In Jesus' Name, Amen.


=D Isn't He AWESOME!!!! He defintely turns my mourning into dancing!! My sadness into laughter! My sorrow into Joy =)

All this happening in my life is so cool!! I have changed so much and people notice it. I see now, what people mean by changing. I look at myself sometimes like it's not even me. Who I was 3 months ago wasn't me..... It wasn't the real me. Who I am becoming is me. I was so lost. Lost beyond words. I would take all the heartache 20 times over again, if I was guaranteed, how I feel now, would be how it ends. Well, begins =)

Anyways, I had to share because I got up at 5 to use the rest room and saw that in my box and it just made me smile.

He speaks, you just have to listen =D

And me, myself and I need to worry about me and stop worrying about everyone else =)

I love Him!!! There isn't even a word to describe it!!

Have a wonderful Monday.

Love,

~Dianna

Migraines x.x

I am on day 3 of a horrible migraine. It started the other day with bad auras and the headache Monday night was so bad that I was shaking and scared to death. I didn't sleep well Monday night, tossed and turned and woke up every couple hours. Argh!

Yesterday it was a bit better. I took Tylenol before going to the gym and then again later before I went walking. I thought exercise would help them, but so far.......nope. I slept better last night than I did on Monday night. Even so I still woke up a few times and Claire woke me up at 4:30 to go potty.

Today it's better than yesterday, progress none the less, but I'm at the point I'm ready for it to leave now. I can't go to the gym today, have to go tonight so that's all good, but..........................

I'm down officially 20 lbs =) All my clothes fall off YAY!!!!!!

Yesterday Angel and I had such a wonderful time at the gym. She brings so much joy to my life. I laughed so hard when the hotter, sexier gym guy came over to us! Even funnier when he said "I never noticed you here before" Holy crap buddy I live there!! When I turned back to see Angel who was 30 different shades of red, omg I laughed so hard I was almost crying. LOL! I love those people there. They make me happy. Every single one of them. Even the seniors that laugh at me and Angel as we walk out the door unable to walk.

Busy day and going to be gone allllllll day til tonight so have a fantastic day all.

I love God and Love you guys very much.

Happy Wednesday!

~Dianna

Grouchy people

I wonder what runs through peoples heads sometimes. I really do. I have this friend at the gym Linda. She is the nicest sweetest woman one could ever meet. She would do anything for anyone.

She was crippled by polio, she can't stand up straight and is hunched over pretty badly and has to use a walker. I see her almost every day at the gym. She rides the bike on the end every day because they are close together and she can't get in between them being hunched over. Everyone usually will give up that bike for her because they know she can't get between the bikes and then has no where to put her walker.

Well..........There's this one lady who...ugh...she's just mean. I have been in there a couple times this week and that woman knows Linda comes at the same time and hops right on the end bike. So Linda will some times come talk to me to wait for the bike and sometimes she will go walking etc. She's been sick lately with a cold and came down and talked to me and Angel today. The lady was on the bike again and Linda went over to ask her how long she was going to be and the lady snarkily replied "I'm going to be on here for a realllllllly long time" Linda who really just wanted to ride the bike, finds a place for her walker and then I watched her try to squeeze to get to one of the middle bikes.

Why couldn't that lady of moved over? She did it one day last week too. It's almost like an imposition to her that Linda waits on the bike. She gets huffy and puffy. I just don't understand. That lady is healthy as a horse can easily get on one of the other bikes.

I dunno it just bothered me. She's the kindest soul ever and how anyone can look at her sweet nature and just be mean..... I just don't understand.

Happy Tuesday

Love

Dianna

=) Monday!

What a wonderful weekend I had =) Fabulous in so many ways.

First things first.........Blueberry Preserves! Sometimes for odd reasons, I crave blueberries. Elmer a few weeks ago sent me Wild Blueberry Jelly from Maine....... I can say without hesitation that it was the best blueberry preserve I have ever tasted. I have been on a hunt locally to find something similar, but nothing even comes close. I have three jars of blueberry preserves in my refrigerator. I have used almost one. It's nothing like the one from Maine. The one from Maine had perfect blueberries, nothing crunchy etc. The first jar I opened here, well there's some good blueberries in it, but there's a lot of crunchy ones. I eat it in my grits. It's a perfect fit in grits. So, as soon as the jar is finished we will move on to the second one and see if it comes close to the Maine Preserves. Sigh, why do I only fall in love with stuff that's far away! LOL! My syrup is in Vermont, gotta get the pattern!

Next ........Movies!!

I watched hmm four movies this weekend. First was Precious. Language was really, really, really bad. BUT......it was a very powerful movie. What that poor girl endured, I just want to hug her. Sad movie and I'd like to think people in real life aren't that cruel, but a sad reality is, they are. Probably worse.

Next was Alice in Wonderland. Me n the fam went to see it. I totally liked it a lot! Savannah did as well, however I think she was a little scared when the Jabberwocky came out. It was like a continuation from the first one and it was really well done. I love stories where escapes happen from your own life and you get to be taken to some wonderful place.....There are many days I would like to scour my yard looking for rabbit holes to fall down!

The third was Where the Wild Things Are....... Totally disliked this movie. The boy and that screaming. I wanted to whoop his butt five minutes into the movie. I totally would've been upset had I paid to watch it in a theatre, I can listen to my own kids scream for free. The boy was over the top annoying and the book was a favorite of mine. Sigh.

Okay, last movie of the weekend was Hachi. Dear Lord in Heaven, I cried more through this movie than any movie I have seen. It was well done and wow! I don't know what to say. Juan watched it with me and kept remarking about how sad it was and how touching. He said to me "Mom, how come I don't get sad when I watch movies of people like that, but when it's animals it's so hard to watch" I tried to explain to him that animals don't say things to hurt you, animals don't use you, animals don't break your heart, animals won't ever disappoint you..........They are always happy to see you. When you walk into a room, no human would ever greet you like that....... and what Hachi did......... how many people would ever do that? None. Dogs are fiercely loyal. Find me a person like that....... You can't.

Yesterday church was wonderful. As always. Four baptisms and I love watching those. Hearing the testimonies of what led them to God. Hearing about how life was for them, how bad...... Then God happens. Something no one can explain unless you feel it. I did =D Indescribable and everyone should experience it for themselves.

Okay, I gotta go to the gym .......... I'm looking really good and feeling great!!

Have a fantastic Monday

Lots of Love

<3

~Me

One month and one week.

For the first time in a month, my eyes are open. One month and one week to be exact.

For anyone who has been unlucky enough to weather the storm of a broken heart.......They should know all to well of what I am going to describe.

For a full month and one week a hurricane was upon me. The storm made worse by the fact that only I could see it. Only I could hear and feel it. People trying to help me through it. Help me weather it....But, how can you help something you can't see, feel or hear?

My life literally felt like it was crumbling around me. You see the videos on TV about "hurricane" clean up. That is what it was like for me today walking into my bedroom.

At first glance into my room.....Beginning the clean up of what was my life for one month and one week. Being back in the land of the living. Being someone different..... The damage of what is around me was very moving and yet so very hard to clean up. I saw things. I saw life for the first time in one month and one week.

It's as if time stopped inside of me. I look around my room and I get a close up view of the force of the storm. I didn't know it was that bad. A month and week ago the clock on my wall ticked away. The pendulum swung back, forth, back, forth. Tap, tap, tap. A sign to me that although it felt as time had stopped,it was indeed moving forward.

At some point during my one month and one week, the clock stopped working. One day at 4:55. Where there was once noise, now silence. Proof that time, for me, really did stop. Hearing the tapping of the clock made time real for me. Not hearing it made it real to me that my life had stopped.

Kleenex littered my floor. The "new" me, the"strong" me agreed it was time to start cleaning them up. One by one I picked them up. Remembering that for one month and one week, I cried enough for a lifetime. Remembering for one month and one week, my heart was indeed broken. Every thought, every memory, every word said lay within those Kleenex on the floor. Every tear shed on them a reminder that it really happened.

The digital alarm clock to my left........ I must've noticed a million times through tear filled eyes that the plug was almost out of the wall. I would sit and stare at it for hours while crying. It was like a focal point for me. I wasn't strong enough to put one foot in front of the other, go to that side of the room and plug it in. The "new" me the "strong" me plugged it in.

My sheets had not been washed in one month and one week. They also are filled with my tears and heartbreak. As I look at them crumpled up, it makes me sad. I look at them as if someone else were laying in them crying. It takes alot for me to realize, it was indeed me. I want to pick that girl up who is in that bed and hug her. I want to tell her that I love her and tell her don't worry, in one month and one week her heart won't hurt anymore. I want to wipe away her tears and just hold her for one month and one week.

I was like a woman who was trapped in that room..... Trapped is a bad choice of words. I was a woman waiting in a cocoon. Slowly peeling away at the inside to get out. Some days I didn't make any progress, some days I tore through layers. I'm out. I'm new. I'm a butterfly. I'm free.

I not so patiently waited and cried. I really don't know what I was waiting for. I only know I waited and God delivered me from the horrendous heartache that was bestowed upon me. The heartache I placed upon myself.

It was so odd cleaning all this stuff up as "me" in the now. The broken clock is still stopped. I may not fix it for awhile. I need that reminder of who that girl in the bed was, so I know to send that girl who is inside of me love. The calendar on my left shows me, time didn't stop. So, who needs the clock. One month and one week has passed.

If anyone has a magic number of how long a broken heart will last. Mine was one month and one week.

Today, I wake up and as I said in a post earlier in the week, something happened. It was my first experience of Divine Intervention. I may never share what happened. But, it made me whole. God lifted my pain and I emerged as someone new.

My heart is filled with Joy. I laugh and I smile. My thoughts are my own. I feel happiness I never felt in a lifetime.

I feel at home. My heart no longer searches for that place to call home for God is MY HOME. God is Love. God is everything you need to endure one month and one week of sheer hell.

My bible is next to me. A reminder that without that book, without those words, without MY GOD, I would not have been able to weather that storm.

I read Psalms now as the new "me" I see the wrinkled pages of where tears had fallen from my eyes and sprinkled all over them. More evidence that for one month and one week I was sad. For one month and one week a transformation was occuring.

I can't explain to you how I feel in my heart. I can't explain the burden that was lifted off my chest. I feel my heart beating now, not the pain of nails going through it. Only God could've healed that hurt. If I could see my heart, I would definitely be able to trace the scars all around it. I need them there. I want them there.

I want the reminder of the pain that brought me to my knees for one month and one week... That reminder that gave me a lifetime of happiness with God. What a short amount of time that is in perspective to where I am now. Who I am now.

For the first time in one month and one week I see my daughter without tear filled eyes and I see she has gotten taller. I see her blowing a bubble and the carefree moments a child gets to enjoy.

I continually ask God "What do I do?" "What next?" I become still and listen to that small still voice inside me. "Write" he says. To him I say "I don't know how" That small still voice says "I'll show you"

So....... I write. My words here to share with you..... My one month and one week.

I love my God. I love you guys. I love life.

~Me

Friday =D

YAY! Friday! End to the long busy week!!

Not much to write other than I'm staying busy. I'm 100% finally over E and OMG talk about relief! Alot happened and it made me realize..... I'm over him. Hallelujah!!

Allergies are plum kicking my butt this spring. Ah, Kentucky!

I'm down 17 lbs =D

I haven't met a blueberry I didn't like. I love coffee.

I love you guys!

Happy Friday!!

~me

Wednesday

This week has flown by and it's humpday. I can't believe it's already Wednesday.

Got a busy day and I didn't sleep much last night. I woke up about 5:30 to Anthony banging all around the house. I got up, scrubbed the kitched, mopped the floors, did the dishes. Did a little bit of laundry. Took the kids to school, went to the grocery. Came home scrubbed the living room and cleaned a tad in the bathroom.

Getting ready to shower, heading to spend the day with baby E then going to therapy. After that Juan from football practice, get Savannah and find time to go to the gym. Start to finish the day is busy.

LOST ........ What the heck is going on? Onliy 9 more episodes praise Jesus!

Okay, hopping in the tub

Have a wonderful day everyone.

Be safe

Love,

~Dianna

=) Tuesday afternoon!!

"Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That's what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will"... ~ Hope Floats

Wow =) Wow and WOW =)

What a fantastic afternoon!!!

Wow =)

Well, when I'm in my car lately I have been turning off the radio and talking to God. I have heard in church even when I was in the Catholic church about how God answers you, about hearing God's voice, about hearing his answers for you.

The only way I can explain it is you remember those pictures that used to sell big in the 90's where you had to stare at it for a LONG time and then a picture within that picture would pop out?

Well.......... I was stuck on that picture for awhile. I never know what's my inner voice, what my thoughts are and I did NOT understand it at all! I was discouraged because I had no clue what they were talking about.

Today, I FINALLY understood it. Becoming a Christian isn't easy. It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I'm such a baby at it and I can't wait to mature it in.

As Carol said a few weeks back when the girl in church prayed for me, God speaks through people. I never knew that. I know better now what I need to do. =) As Daniel said "Got to turn and go the right way" All these signs that I ignored, I overlooked...... I was missing some important stuff!! In the gym aside from the laughing Angel and I were doing I was soooo happy, I smiled the whole time =D

I had a fabulous day with Angel. Gym hottie told me I don't need all that exercise, I look fantastic =) I'm down 16.5 lbs today =) I really, really am looking wonderful and feeling it!

I'm soooooooooooooooo excited. This afternoon was just so wonderful..... like at noon, my day went from BLAH to YAY!!!!! =D Maybe one day I'll share what happened, until then it's between me n God ;)

Have a fantastic Tuesday evening

Lots of LOVE, LOVE, LOVE

Hope =D

~Lady =)

Tuesday

Have a happy Tuesday all =D I think I got my bloggety blog fixed. I was hitting a wrong button.......... LOL, me, noooooo, never!

Everyone knows I do awful with change and LOL My whole blog system changed. Good Ole Trial N Error =D

Well........ I won't be back until tonight other than home to take a shower and grab a few things! It's 7 am and I'm trying to line up the things I have to do like ducks and visually shoot them down as I do them.

Duck number one...........Get off here and go get dressed

Happy Tuesday

Love you guys <3

~Dizie

Tears and the book of Psalms

I can't tell you how many times lately I turn to the book of Psalms. Seems me and David (David in the book of Psalms not my friend) and the others in them have alot in common.

Anyone who suffers cruelly from a broken heart should read Psalms.

The night before last and tonight, I read them and tears fall down my cheeks and fill my pages. I have cried all over the book of Psalms.

My heart hurts and I hear over and over again about how God takes that pain away, I wait patiently for it to go. Seems sometimes it's less, but other times like tonight it's unbearable.

When in church tonight A song came on and we were asked to pray during it. It was so beautiful and all I could ask God was , "Why wasn't I good enough for him" and "Why didn't he love me back" I was just sitting there in church with tears streaming down my face. That pain, that strong pain of someone taking nails and just poking them deeper into my heart. Sometimes that pain is so large it hurts just to breathe in. After the song was over out of the blue here comes my cousin Lindsay and she also has tears running down her face. Life is so hard and God is so good.

I love my family. I love my cousin Lindsay with all my heart. Hugging her made that pain a little more bearable.

Tonight was hard and they talked about showing humility before God and I did. I'm not ashamed to say I hurt. I didn't fight off the tears in a room with hundreds and hundreds of people. I hurt and I cried.

I'm not ashamed to say out of hurt I have said some pretty hurtful things. Hurt and loss are so powerful and hurt so much, especially when you feel that hurt is based on the fact that you just didn't have what it took.

Over all, I just prayed that the pain will go away. No pain is greater than loving someone that doesn't love you back.

I just have to be patient. Til then I will cry with the Psalms, evidence even thousands of years ago pain in the heart was just the same. Nothing invented in all the years takes that pain away. It's a constant through history.

This is where I cried tonight

Pslam 28

1 To you I call, O LORD my Rock;
do not turn a deaf ear to me.
For if you remain silent,
I will be like those who have gone down to the pit.
2 Hear my cry for mercy
as I call to you for help,
as I lift up my hands
toward your Most Holy Place.

3 Do not drag me away with the wicked,
with those who do evil,
who speak cordially with their neighbors
but harbor malice in their hearts.

4 Repay them for their deeds
and for their evil work;
repay them for what their hands have done
and bring back upon them what they deserve.

5 Since they show no regard for the works of the LORD
and what his hands have done,
he will tear them down
and never build them up again.

6 Praise be to the LORD,
for he has heard my cry for mercy.

7 The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy
and I will give thanks to him in song.

8 The LORD is the strength of his people,
a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.

9 Save your people and bless your inheritance;
be their shepherd and carry them forever.


Happy Sunday Evening

Love,

Dianna Lynne

Happy Sunday!!

Just got all dressed and ready for church.

Well............ 14.5 lbs =D in 12 days!! My clothes are falling offfff! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, off to church =D

Have a fantastic Saturday Everyone!!

He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else. ~Benjamin Franklin

Love,

~Dianna

It's Saturday

"Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.” ~Author Unknown

I sit here after one of the roughest nights I have had. I don't realize why I can't move forward. He is. Why can't I talk to these guys who want to talk to me......He's moved on with other people. Why can't I?

I think and think and think about what it is, why can't I move forward. I realize that after everyone, there's always been someone else. Almost immediately. This time, I am trying to heal from all the past and don't want anyone at all.

Rebound relationships do not work.

I think I get scared sometimes that I'll keep wanting no one. I don't trust men. Not anymore.

Anyways one day closer to finding myself. Having a ceremonial burning of my WoW discs later or maybe a hammer taking to them. Either way they are going to a slow death.

Have a wonderful Saturday.

Love,

~Me

TGIF

If you have an hour, will you not improve that hour, instead of idling it away?
Lord Chesterfield

ARGH Today I am feeling all those hours of not being idle. Every day this week except Wednesday I have gone to the gym 2 times a day. Tonight, I did NOT want to go, but I pushed through and forced myself.

I'm spring cleaning and just enjoying the quiet.

Happy Friday Everyone

Love you lots! <3

~ Dianna

Thursday Evening =D

Joy is a flower that blooms when you do. ~Author Unknown


I LOVE today =D!!! My morning went great, Juan got up for school and we were out the door, no fussing or fighting!

Angel met me at the gym and we worked out for 2.5 hours this morning. I loved seeing her and I have missed her so much. We used to see each other every day in hair school, so I'm glad to have her back in my life.

I came home, ate lunch, got the kids and went back to the gym for another 1.5 hours. Savannah got here and we have laughed and danced.

I have such joy in my heart and I'm so glad that all the anger has passed. That was a storm I never want to weather again.

I taped this Psalm over my headboard it's Psalm 4
4 In your anger do not sin;
when you are on your beds,
search your hearts and be silent.

I need to practice being silent. That's my big, biggggg one. I don't want to forget it and it's probably the hardest thing for me. When I am angry, be silent.

Happy Thursday

Love you guys

~Dianna

Hi HI Hiiiii!!! =D It's Tuesday!

I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday!!

Went to the gym and I lost 10 lbs!! =D That's in hmm 8 days? Going for 4 hrs a day probably is doing alot of good.

I wasn't able to do my full work out this morning, so I'm getting ready for community groups now and then heading there before I have to go to Curls.

It's not a matter of "if" It's a matter of "when"

I've never been so determined in all my life to keep pushing through.

Happy Day

<3

~Dianna

Monday

"The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for."

~Maureen Dowd~

=D I think that says it all. I'm really proud of myself, I haven't played WoW in weeks. I have had offers to buy my account, friends have asked if they could have it.... I was really on the fence about what to do with it. I still had a slight hesitation of "going back or not"

After praying, thinking, etc.........Well, I got my sign last night. I cried for a brief bit and then laughed. Quite hard. I don't belong there anymore and talk about perfect timing. I thank God for making it so easy to see. The pure brilliance of timing was for sure a huge, huge sign!

The crying was over almost as soon as it started and like I said I laughed and laughed. God has a sense of humor for sure =)


I really like not playing anymore. I'm liking so much who I am becoming. I have lost so much weight and it keeps falling off. I'm not taking crap, I'm laughing, I'm getting out of the house, forming a life.
Soooooo....... It's gone. I'm NOT going back and I'm very happy about that.

Yesterday I noticed something. About my eyes.

My eyes tell everything about me. I looked over pics of the last few months and my eyes looked so sad. Kyle told me that when I'm sad my eye lose that sparkle, but when I'm happy you can see a twinkle in my eye. That's true and I can see it in my pics. Well, I took some the other day when I was doing my make up check for my date and I have my twinkle back.

I have a busy day and I'm going to spend a few hours at the gym. Working on myself =)

Still LOLing about last night..... Ah! God loves me. He really, really loves me. I love him too <3

<3 Perfect timing

Have a wonderful Monday.

I love you guys!!

~Dianna Lynne

Church tonight

Was FABULOUS!! I wish I could send you all pics of the art exhibit there. All through church I was looking out the door at this couch with a shower running on it..... I didn't understand it and it had an explanation next to it..... it was this Psalm
Psalms6:
6 I am worn out from groaning;
all night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears.

It was soooooo cool since I obviously have flooded my bed with tears in February...... Then they had these shelves with jars all on them and they had this Psalm

Psalm 56:8
put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? 9 When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me. 10 In God will I praise his word:

It was just neat =) I really, really enjoyed it tonight =)

Fixing to go to bed. It was a wonderful Sunday.

<3 you guys very much

~Di

It's Over!

Seems like February is the month for me for being over. Relationship w/ E over, relationship with WoW over and relationship with food over.

I have been dropping pounds wickedly fast. It could be the fact that I work out 2 hrs in the morning, 2 hrs at night or.....It could be I'm just not hungry. I have to force myself to eat anymore. I just don't want it.

I'm tired. I was up til about 4 a.m. I spent about 3 hrs at the gym this morning, had to go grocery shopping, came home cooked dinner, hopping in the shower all to go to church this evening.

I'm just plum wore out and my week is so busy.

Argh Hectic Thursday

That's really all I can say.

Hectic.

Therapy and what I have to do this week is hard. Harder than last week. Don't get me wrong, he doesn't make me do anything, but gives me the tools of what I have to do to get better and when I have the courage, I do them.

Courage is a funny thing. I never really thought I had much. I always view myself as weak. I'm really not weak at all, I have alot more strength and courage than I thought I did. Evidence that God is helping me through all this. Finding that spot inside me that wants control over my own life.

Yesterday the only analogy I could think of for him is that I'm all the pieces on a Chess board. What move I make, is dictated by who's moving the piece. I just stand there and wait for someone to move me. I want off that board. I'm tired of people manipulating me in whatever direction they think I need to go in. I never realized how many people in my life have manipulted me. I'm done with that.

Everyone knows I have my thresholds. I speak of them often with people. If things have gone badly over time and things happen, lack of respect and things done to hurt my feelings......Well, I say to myself the very next time such and such happens, I quit. Usually it takes a long, long time. I respect myself enough that if I set those boundaries, I stick to them. I need to make those boundaries alot sooner. My do not cross line.......quit taking so much, draw that line in the sand earlier and be strong enough to need no one.

I'm on my way =)

Off to the gym <3

The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.
~Carlos Castaneda

Have a wonderful day

<3
Dianna =)

Good Tuesday Morning =)

Actually been getting to sleep at a decent hour so I wake up really early!

Last night I tried sleeping with the TV off. I have a horrible habit of sleeping with the TV on. Well....... LOL, I prayed, meditated and then tried to convince myself I could do it. Nah, I made it 15 minutes with no TV. Everything is so weird in the dark. Maybe each night I can go a little further until I just fall asleep waiting for the minutes.

Have a really busy day today. Gotta get some stuff together for going back to a salon =) I love when my old bosses randomly pop into my life. I'm nervous about going back to hair, but I was really good at it. I gotta spend the day cleaning Johnnys, gotta get to the gym and then Community Groups with Curl tonight.

I love days like today. Busy and no time for thinking. I won't lie and say I don't have sad moments, because I have them quite a bit...But, I'm dealing with them. I'm getting my groove back and moving on. Missing people is hard. It's the quiet where there was once noise for me. Missing for the right reasons, I'm there.

Have a wonderful Tuesday.

Much, Much, Much Love <3

Dianna Lynne

It's Monday

What a journey I am on lately. It's amazing waking up every day finding out something new about myself. For the past 4 or 5 years I threw myself into whatever I could to avoid dealing with the pain I had inside.

Pain from the past, pain from the present.

Last Sunday was the worst day of my life, yet the best. My heart was broken. I cried and cried til I could not cry anymore. Only God could've saved me from that enormous hole I had in my heart that day. He did. I prayed like no other, prayed and prayed to please just for a few minutes stop this pain I am in.

At first I thought it was pain from breaking up with Elmer, but it wasn't. Elmer actually had very little to do with it. I realize I was using Elmer to keep from dealing with my own pain. He was a distraction. I knew I was doing the right thing by going my own seperate way, but I got scared because when it donned on me that we were indeed done......... I had nothing but the pain.

God had it all worked out. I couldn't walk, I couldn't talk. I could barely function that day and he picked me up. The next day I woke up and was a bit stronger. My head swirled with things I never dealt with. I have always had a guy for distraction and it's always been a guy with problems.

The book I'm reading now.........Amazing.
The therapist sending me to another therapist.........Amazing.

All these things I firmly believe were God. God getting my attention saying "Look girl, get it together"

I'm starting to accept everything that happened to me and deal with it, instead of just grabbing a guy and covering it up. Before when asked on dates I said "Yes" The past week I have turned down 3 knowing that I am not even close to being what I need to be to make a relationship work. It felt SOOOOOOOOO good.

Church Sunday, I was so apprehensive about going alone. But I went. He (the preacher) talked about lament. He talked about pain and suffering. He talked about how Jesus knows that pain and that suffering. He had people mocking him and beating him. He knows. When he looked up and said "Getting through the hurt, working through the pain......Your story isn't finished" It was hard to hold back tears. I guess I never realized that my story isn't finished.

I don't know what the future holds for me. Not in any fashion. But I know if I continue to work on myself and quit filling my time with things that distract me from my feelings, that my story can have a happy ending. It may or may not involve a man and that's okay. But it will involve me and God. =)

I struggle alot with decisions, not knowing if I am making a right one or a wrong one. Always second guessing myself. I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm not going to do things and be with people that I don't like because I feel there are no other options. Whether it's guys or girls(friends), if I don't like them ....... I'm going to get out.

Before I would just up and go cut someones hair, who I knew wasn't going to pay me or do something else like take pictures for them (people who didn't treat me well) and just do it for acceptance. I'm done. This will be the hardest struggle of all for me. Saying..........NO =)

Alot of I's in these posts, but I need to get right with God and myself. Faith the past few days has revealed its good works to me in ways I can't explain. I have that faith I lacked before. I'm starting to remember things that hurt and that I blocked out. I think about them, give them the proper attention and say to myself "It happened" No more blocking them out, no more not dealing with them.

I have a long road in therapy. Really, really long. But I'm on it. =)

I finally feel like I will know who I am and I am a really wonderful person. I need no one to validate that. I know what my thoughts are, I know where my heart is and I'm a wonderful person inside and out

=)
Happy Monday

A special thanks to my family and friends for being there for me and the special girl at church who saved me.

Much Love,

Di

Hi =)

** Forgot to add, I don't really update here much anymore because I'm always on Facebook like all my other bloggety bloggers LOL

It's been a really, really, REALLY long time since I have written. I kinda quit after that whole stalker thing. I'm pretty sure he's gone. Thank God =)
For once, I'm doing really, really well. I feel like I'm finally getting my life together.

Other than the above, nothing has been going on. This weekend has been WONDERFUL =) Thus far. I feel peace. No crying. I have the best friends a girl could ask for and they are doing a wonderful job making sure I'm okay. I <3 you guys.

I won't wait months before I update again lol! I got 2 emails yesterday asking when I was going to update...... I know it isn't much of one. Just know that I'm good, Life is wonderful and I'm happy =)

Had to fix my play list LOL Bad Romance is like my motto song!! <3 Lady Ga Ga =)

Love,
Di

Ahoy there! Happy Monday!

Haven't updated in a bit, but then again not much has changed. Hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving. I had a wonderful relaxing week! Getting ready to head to the gym in a bit. Happy Monday!

Love,
Di

been goneeeeeeee

i had like 1000 emails a day for comment spam and it was filling up my email box causing me to get tos violations.......so hopefully they are done sending me bingo spam..... it was all on my mall walker post. i deleted a bunch but haven't gotten to the rest.

xo xo
di

its friday

days been going pretty good so far, so yay on that =)

kids will all be gone this weekend, so I will have to find something to do. i could just be lazy n do nothing tho.....but i think id rather get out of this house.

hope everyone has a great weekend

Love,
me

Empathy

Empathy, which literally translates as 'in feeling', is the capability to share another being's emotions and feelings.

Empathy, which literally translates as 'in feeling', is the capability to share another being's emotions and feelings.

Empathy, which literally translates as 'in feeling', is the capability to share another being's emotions and feelings.

Empathy, which literally translates as 'in feeling', is the capability to share another being's emotions and feelings.

Empathy, which literally translates as 'in feeling', is the capability to share another being's emotions and feelings.

Empathy, which literally translates as 'in feeling', is the capability to share another being's emotions and feelings.

I can sit here and write that til the cows come home, but some narcissistic people won't get it.


Empathy try it on for size......


Love,
Dianna

it's monday

argh. the weekend was long. partly because the kids were off school thursday, friday.... anthony was sick, i wasn't feeling good at all. the stuff the dentist did, hurt very badly all weekend, i had a sore throat and a cough. i had no money to do anything and savannah was bored. i felt bad, but did what i could. yesterday we had our movie day at moms and ate ice cream sundaes and watched movies. not much i could do........bills, but they are all paid, thank God.

yesterday, i didn't feel real well was sad. a good friend and i talked in depth last night about alot of things. he made me see alot of things i don't see. was nice to just talk and get good sound advice. i have a lot of good friends. i'm extremely lucky on that front.

hmmm claire chewed up about 20 dum dum suckers and has sticks stuck in her fur, so i'm guessing a bath for her is on the agenda.

kids are all back to school. im cleaning.

=)

happy monday.
Love,
di

It's Tuesday and.......

I don't care anymore.....

Well you can tell ev'ryone I'm a damned disgrace
(Slander)Drag my name all over the place.
I don't care anymore.
You can tell ev'rybody 'bout the state I'm in
You won't catch me crying 'cos I just can't win.
I don't care anymore I don't care anymore

I don't care what you say
I don't play the same games you play.

'Cos I've been talking to the people that you call your friends
And it seems to me there's a means to an end.
They don't care anymore.
And as for me I can sit here and bide my time
I got nothing to lose if I speak my mind.
I don't care anymore I don't care no more

I don't care what you say
We never played by the same rules anyway.

I won't be there anymore
Get out of my way
Let me by
I got better things to do with my time
I don't care anymore I don't care anymore
I don't care anymore I don't care anymore

Well, I don't care now what you say
'Cos ev'ry day I'm feeling fine with myself
And I don't care now what you say
Hey I'll do alright by myself
'Cos I know.

'Cos I remember all the times I tried so hard
And you laughed in my face 'cos you held all the cards.
I don't care anymore.
And I really ain't bothered what you think of me
'Cos all I want of you is just to let me be.
I don't care anymore D'you hear? I don't care no more

I don't care what you say
I never did believe you much anyway.

I won't be there no more
So get out of my way.
Let me by
I got better things to do with my time
I don't care anymore
D'you hear? I don't care anymore
I don't care no more
You listening? I don't care no more
No more
You know I don't care no more
no more no more no more....


=)
Love,
Di

Monday

Ah, it's Monday!!!!! Anthony and Juan are home from school today. Anthony has had a pretty good fever, aching and coughing. Juans achy.
Been going to the gym every day again, gonna try to go again today. My friend was there yesterday and I really needed to see them yesterday and we talked for over an hour. Was extremely nice =)
I didn't have any arguing this weekend. If I thought I was going to be snippy w. anyone I either went to the gym or just laid in bed and talked on the phone. This weekend I just couldn't handle stress or any sort of conflict, so avoidance worked. YAY!!
Kyle was nice enough to bring Savannah to my moms on Halloween so I could trick or treat w her some. Was very nice. She's adorable.
Was alone Saturday night, was kinda scared alone that late at night on Halloween. I had watched Ghost Hunters all evening and some of them, even though I had seen them, scare me.
Spending alot of time alone I'm learning alot about myself. I'm not as bad as I used to think as in worthless. It's people who can't get me to be what they want me to be who have problems with me. Or when I won't do something they want, or if I form my own opinion. I know Karma bites ya in the rear, it has gotten me a few times. But I noticed when I do good things, good things come back to me in ten fold.
I read this bible verse alot. A whole lot, it hangs by my bed. I finally got it.

“Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.”

If those things are not present in a relationship or you can't apply that in some way to your relationship, then there is no love.

Happy Monday
Love,
Dianna

Nobody's home

Well I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, whats wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
That's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go, to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you've left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
That's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go, to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's falling from grace.
She's all over the place!
Yeah!! (yeah)


She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
That's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go, to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside.oh oh
She's lost inside, lost inside.oh oh
Ohhh...

A little something

For all the mean people in my life =)

"Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again."- Og Mandino

"If we cannot be clever, we can always be kind."- Alfred Fripp

"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate."- Albert Schweitzer

"The only way to tell the truth is to speak with kindness. Only the words of a loving man can be heard."- Henry David Thoreau

"There is one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all one's life - reciprocity."- Confucius

I Started out to vent. The last week, I have dealt with quite a few very selfish individuals. They only care about themselves and then punish others if they go against what they want. If their needs can't be met etc. etc. I used to cry, but now I consider the source of these people. Don't talk to me, ignore me and please do me a favor and wash your hands of ME and I'll reciprocate. Punishing me, ignoring me etc, I left it behind in grade school.

Get a life and get a clue people and try nice on every once in awhile.

Hmph

Happy Tuesday. I need to be doing 1,000 things because my week is so crammed full but I have no get up and go. It got up and went ..... Just gotta find it. Loving the fall weather, but hating the rain. Seems like the sun is a rarity lately.

Okay, if I'm restricting my comments to the weather I am in fact BORED LOL, that i think gave me my get up and go to get up and get some stuff done.

Happy Tuesday

xo xo

Dianna

It's Wednesday YAY!

I'm a bit tired cause I stayed up later than normal but all is good.

Get to get out of the house today YAY! Keep my mind from thinking. Got alot on my mind. Tired of playing petty stupid games (mental) with people. Well, they play them and I then have to adjust to them. But.........Some good news... with every game I'm a lil more done than the last time, so all is good. As my mom called it, death by attrition I think it was.....It's happening.
I'm not in high school anymore, so the game thing is lame.
Entertaining somewhat but lame.
LOL I grew up with the best mental gamer ever LOL!

People like that play the games to compensate for things that they lack in themselves. Therefore it's some sort of sick gratification in hurting another. Whether they are jealous in some way, or they just want to keep the person from being something better than they are . My friend Chris told me a few mos ago......."If you didn't have someone constantly trying to keep a cap on you, the world would be the limit for you. Take the cap off and let yourself reach what you are. I believe in you."

I didn't get that for awhile, but now I do. Sometimes when i want to take a pic or something, I say "You know I'm not good enough", "What does it matter, I'll never amount to anything" "those aren't very good" But those are things others have said. I guess the cap that Chris talked about.......their words hold me back. Funny thing is I never hear the people who encourage me. Those are the ones I need to start listening too. It's just easier to believe the nay sayers. But then again that's a problem with themselves and really what good can ever come by constantly criticizing others. It may make you temporarily feel good but over all..........Epic Fail.

The Wizard of Oz sums it all up the best........

"A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others. "

And I have alot of people and then some that think the world of me =) and love me.

Happy Wednesday!
It's trash day!

=P
Love,
Me

It's Tuesday!

YAY! Kiddies go back to school tomorrow! Been kinda nice havin them around. Went to sleep yesterday a lil after 7..........was so bored and so lonely. One of my good friends has been texting me and calling me alot when I say I'm lonely, so that's really good. He's a big sweetheart and it's nice he always checks on me.
I still feel lonely lol but it does help. Hanging out with baby E helps in that dept. alot too. It gets me out of the house.

I gotta go to moms this morning and then I'm heading to the gym. I love working out and seeing my friends over there. Really good people. I think the gym is one of my favorite places on this earth. Weird thing to say, but I love it there.

Not much else of nothing going on. Thinking alot about things in the past. Things I wish I would've done differently. People I wish I would've never told goodbye. People I wish I would've never said hello to.......Things I wish I would've just done. How much time I have wasted on things and people that really aren't worth anything. How much time I have spent crying over people and things that aren't worth it. I guess reflection of sorts. But its healthy and helping me move forward. Which is never the wrong direction. I thought I would have alot more regrets, but I don't. I do have some. Some big ones..........My mistakes. I learn.

Aside from having my kids, if I was allowed one do over....Would be June 6th(not of this year) =) Best time I have ever had in my life.....Unforgettable =)
You want me to queen fo you? lol!

Happy Day
Love,
Dianna

Happy October!!!!!!!!

Having a very good week! YAY!!
I'm starting to come to know myself and starting to deal with alot of stuff.
I have decided to put myself first =)
I'm trying to figure out how people work and basically have decided to adapt a give what you get attitude. So I'll give exactly what I get =)
Makes things easier for me.

I'm tired of giving and getting nothing but crap.
(this excludes all my close family and friends cause they are the best ever)

I'm in such a good mood. De fleaing the dogs, cleaning, getting stuff together for moms neighborhood yardsale......It's a fantastic day.

Happy October.

YAY!

Heading off to the gym. Meeting a friend there I have worked out with in the past. The sinus infection is fading, thank the Lord and I'm getting more energy!!
=)
Happy Friday!
Love,
Me

For once

I'm not unhappy. This past week something changed in me. I'm not sure what. I just find myself very happy. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my house. I love sitting on the swing reading, I love my quiet bedroom, I just love it here. I love the no fighting I love the kids being happy. Kyle said this morning when he picked Savannah up that he hadn't heard Juan that happy in years.
Everything is slowly working out.

=) I'm just loving it!

I snuck off to the store, bought me some more gluten free brownies, baking them now, hiding any trace I ever made them at all and I'm going to hide them and eat one a day =) YAY!

Okay, have a fantastic day. I know I will

Love,
Dianna

Howdy on a Tuesday

Been cleaning ALL Day gag. Just finished, took a long hot shower and sitting down to relax before I have to go and pick up the boys. I packed up alot of stuff that didn't mean anything anymore, washed blankets and covers, washed windows..... I really did alot.
I even cleaned out my email box lol! Deleted emails I was saving for one reason or another. I just needed to throw them out and clean out my life, my house etc etc.
What a better way than to just to get rid of it! =)
Feels good to get alot accomplished. Trying to figure out what I wanna do for dinner. Bad part is, I don't wanna create dishes. I just got everything done. So I need think on this one.
My mom had a big August Birthday party the other day. I absolutley love her neighbors. I can't tell you all enough how wonderful this group of people is. It's like an extended family.
I was feeling low because my birthday was awful. Even if it wasn't my birthday on that day, it would've been a bad day. So I was down. In walks Quint with a huge pan of Gluten free brownies and cookies and a HUGE vase of flowers and a card just for me. I really was touched and it took alot not to cry.
I didn't expect it. It was wonderful.
We are planning an all adult party soon YAY!! =) This Sunday is another get together. I just have the best time around them, laughing and talking. Just the nicest bunch of people you ever did meet.
The world needs more of them.
Have had the radio on allllllll day long. I'm so happy today and I love life so much today. Just one of those fantastic days that is so good I don't want it to end.

=)
Happy Tuesday Everyone.
Love,
Dianna

Been awhile

A long, long while.
Not much been happening lately. Having a real struggle finding out who and what I want to be in life.
The summer went by fast.
I'm changing alot.
Last fall, I was so happy and full of hope
One year later I just find myself beaten down and full of nothing.
Completely and utterly lost.

The boys are going to Journey tomorrow with my brother.

I'm going to go clean.

Hope all is well.

I post more on facebook than I do here, let me know if you have a facebook.

Love,
Me.

Been Awhile

Since I have updated. I guess the more things change, the more things stay the same....

Happy Wednesday!!

YAY!! =)
Woke up in a fantastic mood.
Slept awesome!! A good friend of mine called at 2 am (i think) unless it was a dream. I remember talking about a subject, I should check my phone to see if it was a dream of if they did indeed call. I must've been sleeping heavily either way!! Hope I was well behaved and didn't sleep talk. That would be bad!!
Everything is going great here!! Working out every day. I have such a good time at the gym. Juans hooked up w hot guy to work out yesterday, he is getting built!! Melzie I'll show you some pics later. He's really getting buff!!
So, I'm gonna work out before I get Savannah that way I can goof off without worrying about daycare hours.
Then I guess it's off to moms for swimming =)
YAY!!!
Okay, have a wonderful day everyone
It's indeed a good one here =)
Love
me

Happy Tuesday =)

Having a wonderful day =)
Hope all you are too......... off to the gym =)

Enjoy your day!!

Happy Monday =)

Hey, been awhile I know ... I'm doing fantastic =) I had a wonderful weekend. I think I laughed most of it. Everything is going great.

I'm thankful for all the good friends I have been making lately.
They truly are a great bunch of individuals and always are making me laugh.

=)


Happy Monday to all
Love,
Dianna

When She Loved Me.

Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all
Just she and I together, like it was meant to be
And when she was lonely, I was there to comfort her
And I knew that she loved me.


The song is first on the list.... you know how it ends, so no suspense!

Happy Tuesday

Been kinda slow getting going. Going to go swimming I think at my moms. She's very achey. Hope it's not strep.
Watched the secret life of bees today. It made me cry. Alot.

I identified with it alot. Especially when they talked about how people deal with internal/emotional pain. Some keep it all bottled up inside and become angry and bitter, others cry and show it outwardly. Neither is wrong. It just shows how different everyone is.



Happy Tuesday

Love
Di

Happy Tuesday

Not much happening as of late. That's good for me. Waiting for school to be out. Tomorrow is the last day. I love summer.
Been swimming almost every day at moms since her pool opened. Been walking a lot. Can't complain.

Life is good

Love
me

Tomorrow is June =)

Elmer will be here this month!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haven't updated in awhile

Everything is basically the same. My life has died down since Juans appendicitis and I'm glad to report my life is currently boring =) I will bask in it and enjoy it!
Hope all are doing well
Love
Me

It's Wednesday!!

=) Happy Day!! Tryin to get a hold of my hairdresssssssssserrrrrrrrr my roots are brown and ugly! I gotta look good for Derby!!!

Not much going on, Savannah will be here today and tomorrow and I'm so glad. I really miss her so much. After she's been here all week and leaves, I get very sad. I always dress her while shes sleeping for school and when she wakes up we fold her jammies and lay them on the bed. Every night I go in and see her lil jammies and get all teary eyed. I really miss her. It's very hard when you take a child you have spent every waking moment with and having to turn her over to someone else and not see her. It's hard. Very hard.

Okay, Have a wonderful swine fluless day!!!
Love,
Me

Happy Tuesday =)

LOL On my I hate yous, Karen calls and "Dianna, who you hate" Asshats.......asshats are bad and evil. Asshat was giving me grief, suprise there.
I was extremely angry but have since gotten over it. He says really, really hurtful things on purpose to try to get my goat and so I blocked his email and deleted his email acct on my acct. He should've been more responsible after the divorce to get his own email addy and stop depending on me for one.
I don't feel bad after the things he said. As a matter of fact I wish I had 20 of them to delete. Maybe next time he will think twice before he insults me. Oh wait, he can't! I told him if he wished to contact me, it had to be done in a hand written note =) So that's what that was all about.

I honestly would not care if I did not hear the sound of his voice ever again in my life.

Everything else is on the up.

Getting ready to take Anthony to school and Juan if he gets out of bed. Guess I need to do like they did on what about bob. COCK A DOODLE DOOOOOO!

hope everyone is well

Love,
Me

I

Hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.

My intent was to sit here and write it, til I wasn't angry anymore and to get it all out of my system. The internet isn't big enough.

So a last I HATE YOU to infinity.

=)
Love,
Me

Monday ugh

It feels like Monday. i'm soooo sick of rain and clouds. I need some sunshine. The meds the dr put me on make me sooooo tired. I sit here feeling like I'm in a stupor. I need to exercise, but I can't muster the energy. I'm trying to start back on my iron and stay on that habit because it does make a difference.
Savannah is at what's his faces. I miss her. He's driving me nuts with the head games he plays w Savannah. The other day Savannah wasn't crying or anything we were having a good time playing. I was her patient and she was trying to fix my tooth etc. Then we sat down popped pop corn to watch a movie together. She gets sleepy and said she wants to call daddy in case she falls asleep during movie. She's all happy go lucky talking to him and what does asshat say? I'm at Aspen creek ( a restaurant she has been wanting to go to ) with (miss asshat) and we are eating dinner together blah blah blah.... she starts bawling and screaming because she had been asking to go there. He did that on purpose, he could've just said he was out to eat. He knows the issues we are having here. So she cries for about an hour and a half over him being out to eat. I ask him why he does this and then he tells Savannah, he has to tell the truth...... Oh why start now?
Those are head games and why he chooses to play them is beyond me. Then I make sure she calls him and on Friday night she didn't call me. He's too stuck up (Miss asshats ) rear end and too focused on himself. I hope he enjoys the games, but he has to make sure Savannah wants to be with him and not here. He has to punish me in some way for the divorce and nothing HE can do would bother me cause Im THRILLED he is dating and out of my hair. So he has to use Savannah to get me back, which itself is pretty crappy.
Oh well Karmas a bitch.
Happy Monday.
Love,
Me

LOL Happy Wednesday

Funny stuff. Well, since the divorce I have had to cut way back on spending etc. I cut corners where I can. Yesterday I went to the grocery store and bought generic brand chocolate chip cookies.... the way they eat through them I figure "buy cheap" this morning I was at my computer and I hear Anthony and Juan in the kitchen talking. Juan picks the cookies up and is reading the label... I hear "Artificially flavored chocolate chip cookies? Whoa we are poor" then he says "Its pretty bad when you have to flavor a cookie to taste like a cookie"
I sat in here rolling. LOL! That is pretty flippin bad!

Happy Wednesday
Love
me

Its Toooooooooosday

UGH last night was awful. I didn't sleep a flipping wink. Once I fell asleep about 1 am Opie was asleep in the hall and was having a dream and his tail was banging against the door, then every hour I got woke up by this or that. I kept watching the clock and was thankful when 5:30 came around.
Juan was in a bad mood this morning and did everything possible to delay us. We left late (go figure) then got almost to Fairdale and a train was completely stopped on the tracks, so we had to turn around after 20 min of waiting there. It's like the morning went on and on.
The detective is supposed to go and see if he can get some of our stuff back at 10 am this morning. One of the ladies came up to the bus stop and talked to kyle crying asking if he was really pressing charges..... Um..... You guys stole over 2000 dollars worth of stuff, what do you think? She said they were just kids, but then said her friend told them to go back and get more...... Um Hello? So then the mom tells Kyle that her friend concocted a story that Kyle told them they could have the stuff..... We don't even know the woman or her kid. So anywhoo the detective is there at the house. I know we won't get all her stuff back or the rest of the stuff. The one mom was saying well that wasn't in there, that wasn't in there.... I know it was. Every single tupperware lid I had was back there..... I have none at my house... now my tupperware is useless. Savannahs clothes. Old clothes, too small clothes, summer clothes..... I know we wont get those all back and there were a ton. It's frustrating.
Hmm nothing else going on. Just getting entirely sick of rain.
Im kinda glad in some ways cause at least its cool. My van window is broke and it gets hot in there quick with no air. So that's a positive. When school is out I guess we are parking it.
I gotta go cancel my Y membership today and go grocery shopping.
Oh Joy Oh rapture.
For extra fun I had another tooth break and it broke down the middle and is KILLING ME. I guess he wasn't kidding when he said I needed crowns on all of them. Oh well I hope the nerve dies quick cause Im not payin to have it fixed.
Happy Whatever day it is.
Me

Happy Monday

Howdy Howdy! Happy Monday! Haven't updated in awhile, been busy .... well, not really, just haven't updated much. Elmer sent me a new computer for Easter and I have been spending the evening updating it. It was really sweet. My old computer wasn't worth a hoot. It was a nice suprise. =)
He sent Savannah a bunch of flowers too the kind you plant outside. She was so excited. I can't wait to see what they look like.
Not much else going on. My van is breaking quickly, so we can't really go alot of places and don't have the money really to go anywheres. We stay home alot even tho everyone gripes about it.
Easter was nice. Nice and quiet.
It's storming. Imagine that, seems that's all it does anymore.
I'm not scared anymore so that makes it nice.
Happy day!
My sun is shining =)
Love,
Di

Happy Birthday Savanners!!

Today is my baby girls 7th birthday!! YAY!!! =)
Just seems like yesterday I was in the hospital waiting and waiting =)
We are having her a party in the park with good eats! She's so excited! I got her a baby dwarf hamster, she's gonna be so suprised when she sees him! it's a lil boy and I got him a pink palace! the boys did not like that so Juan was like at least get him so blue chewies. Too funny. She is gonna be tickled. I just hope shes careful cause Claire licks her chompers alot when she sees him.

Have had a hard week. I'm tired, been sick, allergies and sinuses.
Been down cause Elmer goes back to work tomorrow.
He moved back home when his dad got sick and now got a new job and has a long commute and I won't get to talk to him much.
Over the past couple mos he has kept me alot of company and I'm going to miss him extremely bad. He's my sunshine =)

Claire came in smelling like doody.. No expression there, she came in smelling straight up like dog crap. Well, she had it all over her back, all over her fur, omg it was poo all over like she had rolled in it. GAG
Needless to say I threw her in the tub and she got the bath of her life.
I had to bleach out the tub and what nots and gag it was gross.

Ummmm what else ????
I watched slum dog millionaire, it was sooooooooooooooooo good =)
Very good!

Okay Happy day and to my sunshine I love you =)
Have a great day =)
Love
me

Sunday Evening

My sun is shining =)
You know I love you

Trying to enjoy

my last spring break day. Had major allergies this morning even on all the meds. Im mad at kyle cause of course he didn't have savannah call me. I tried calling her yesterday and his girlfriends little girl kept burping into the phone and making rude noises.... @@ I was not amused and he could've told the little girl that that was rude....... but then again it takes him about 6 mos to get to the point of convincing you he's a nice guy then be mean to your kids... So, I have barely spoken to her all weekend.... She did tell me that her and his GF daughter sent daddy some quizzes like "Are you a pervert" Glad they are supervising what they do on the internet. He's not being a responsible parent and she was upset with him last week cause he pushes her off on others and was crying telling him she just wants to do stuff with him...He doesn't listen.
Savannah doesnt come back til Wednesday I tried to talk to her today but of course those kids were there and she was paying attention to them running around and wouldn't talk much.
I still hope every day he gets what's coming to him.
In a big, big way.
Jerk.
I really miss Savannah.

It's Tuesday

Yesterday I did absolutely nothing in the evening. I spent the whole morning cleaning, changing sheets etc, etc....I had bizarre dreams last night. I dreamed that Juan's friend Chris, patrick, tyler and them were trying to help me burn down our old house. We were taking notebooks and laying lit cigarettes on them and the fire would start, but it would fall down the vents to the street and you could see them burning on the streets. My dad showed up and cut the carpet and replaced it, then told me to be more careful smoking.... Then my next dream, me and my mom found a surefire way to win the lottery, so we went in with UNO cards... yes UNO cards and rolled quarters.... We traded them in and expected to win 18,000 dollars and she was going to underbid me and we would split the 18 thou... how that system worked with the UNO cards and quarters I dunno, but someone on a computer out tricked us and we left without our UNO cards and quarters.... At least I got to spend time with both of my parents in my dreams LOL!! Was wild, wild, wild... O.o
Boys are both gone, Savannahs gone. Elmer kept me company on voice chat last night, but I was very lonely. Funny, when I moved out of the shelter, I was terrified of staying alone and always had Chuck stay over or go to Chucks... Then I met Kyle and had him stay over. I couldn't stay alone, I was terrified... Now..... Aside from the lonliness, I love being alone. I'm not scared. Not a bit. So that aspect is nice. About 11:30 last night I crawled in my bed, Claire jumped on my chest, Opie on my feet and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I was gone.... Doing bad things in my dreams... burning houses, trying to cheat money with my mother LOL!
Debautchery at it's best!
Happy Tuesday
Love,
Me =)

Happy Monday =)

Happy Monday everyone. Been a good weekend. Took me 3 days to get Savannah back to normal...only to have her going back to Kyles tomorrow. Anthony said Saturday "She talks to me and Juan just like Kyle did" Getting on them about eating food and stuff. I didn't even think about that, but she really did. Hope she outgrows that. We played a ton of games of Pop o matic trouble.... She's actually really good at that game and whooped up on me.
This morning I am scrubbing my house. Yesterday I felt like I didn't sit down. Run, run, run. I kept thinking yesterday was Saturday.
I need to start going to church earlier, because now that I'm so busy, it's hard to fit 5 oclock in. So I'm gonna find out what earlier services they have.
Not much else going on. Just dropping off or picking up kids from whatever location they are at.... it's tiring.
Spring break YAY!
Happy Monday
Love
di

Not

Angry any more thank God. Man, when that anger hits me with this whole situation it hits hard. It's like I'm so mad at that boy, I'm so mad for at Kyle for not believing her.......just it all builds up. Yesterday was a wonderful day.... Mom stayed all night Friday. I had to watch Maddie Mayo and she was going to sleep over cause Roxanne was going out of town. Johnny and Angie came over, we watched the game, made some chili and had a good time.
Yesterday we went shopping and got Savannah a beautiful dress for Johnny and Angies wedding. We shopped alot, my poor momma was tired. My day didn't end til 6 then I crashed and sat in front of the puter a bit. Savannah and Maddie went to her house about 4, I took anthony to iisacs, Juan to Jordyns.... I felt like I drove all over God's green earth yesterday. Savannah wanted to come home about 8 cause of the storms, so I went and got her. She was quite upset about them, but i held her on my lap and explained how i knew when it was going to thunder lol! I think she was impressed. Mom asked me if I had my TV on yesterday to watch the weather..... I was like um no? I don't watch TV and I don't care about the weather anymore. Funny, how a few short years ago I was terrified.....now, I don't care. I spent so many years of my life worrying over weather and nothing ever happend. A mere waste of time.
Savannah fell asleep on my lap, I put her in bed and I got on the puter til about 11 then I crashed out.
Today is gonna be busy again.
Happy Sunday
Love,
Di

Grrrr Grrr Grrrrrrrr

You know sometimes I wonder why when it rains, it pours. I can't quite figure out the logic behind that but it is true.
I'm angry this morning.
Okay....... Lets see where to begin....
First off, Asshat and I as you know recently split households up. Savannah was going to dance and we rearranged her custody and asshat said when dance was over we would arrange it back........ Dance wasn't over, but ....... she had to quit and asshat won't fix it back..
Okay, the dance issue...Savannah told me something happened at dance. Something involving an older boy.......She was crying, upset, didn't want to go back.... We then spent time with detectives, etc......
My asshat ex husband doesn't believe her. The lady told me she needs therapy,because she won't tell them what happened and she needs alot of time and someone she can trust to talk to. Savannah still insists something happened. But asshat says this morning he can't afford it and he doesnt think she needs it cause she is "normal" This is the idiot who still wanted to force her into going to dance.... Pretty sad, not taking something like that seriously. He said "Lets take her back and see how she acts around him" Okay..... Real smart asshat... Then he tries to say she said it cause I hate dance.... I have no clue where he got the idea I hated dance. I used to take her every Saturday and watch her, I loved it and I loved going.. I only stopped going because his mother was paying for it all and everytime we got in the car an arguement started, so I figured since his mom was covering the bill of it all, he's the one that should take her. I said I hated dance ONCE and once only. I actually thought she was very good at it and was proud of her... but you know, he's got to have a story to tell his family... They know NOTHING about what happened in our household. He only tells them I played computer.... LOL boy would their hair curl if they knew everything that went on. Bet he didn't tell them about the time he burst into my room at 4:30 in the morning screaming at me to take a picture of his winky for his website........ I bet they never heard about any of what he said that night.. I'm so freaking pissed off......It's unfreaking real.
Then again i forget this is the asshat who held my son up against the wall by his neck choking him a few time, til savannahs screaming stop it made him stop....... an asshat is an asshat.... Also the same asshat who shoved me down the hall way and screamed at me til I was curled up in a fetal position begging him to stop.... why would he believe anything happened to savannah??
It it walks like an asshat and talks like an asshat.........
So then Savannah comes over on Tuesday, I was sooooooo glad to see her. What does she say? I didnt want to come over here, daddy said i can call him every minute.... so she screams to call him. I sit down to play with her, she screams and screams to call him because "GASP" I don't have anyone to play with here and can't take her out to texas roadhouse like asshat does. Asshats girlfriend has kids, so he has them come over to play or takes them to his mothers and sisters for free entertainment.... Okay so we play a bit, make dinner, do some gardening, go walking and we get home she gets in the tub. I sit down for 5 seconds and she starts screaming because I sit down.... So I give up and just go to bed. Then I pick her up yesterday I had plans to sit down with her , eat dinner, watch American Idol with her, etc.......... What does asshat do?? Sends her a text about the cats playing etc after he told her her cheering makes them win....... So we had made cookies, we ate dinner together. I told her Maddie couldnt come over, I wanted to just spend time with her and when people are around, she's not with me..........So she screams at me she wants to call daddy..........She calls him and starts screaming to him that OMG I didn't let her watch the cats play on TV i was making her watch something else. WTF does he have to interfere with my time with her.... so I turn the game on where she starts screaming like a rabid pit bull at the TV (gee wonder who does that) I mean screaming loud (gee wonder who does that) ... I try to have her do kid things and noooo she wants no part, she has to help the cats win... @@ So finally I get her to play princess monopoly with me, where Claire decided she wanted to play too... she stretched out all over the board... and we finally some how got through a game... She wanted to call asshat again and tell on claire, but I told her no, no calling. So then we play Yahtzee for a bit, she's finally getting back to a normal kid and laughing and playing and having fun... then the cats lose and she gets upset..... I just wanted to crawl in a hole because she is changing into a child that I don't know. He's playing headgames with her just to get me back cause I didn't love him... Who could ever love an asshat? Not to mention had he not abused my boys, maybe we'd still be together.... He needs to make a mental note, that calling wifes other children, retarded and stupid and then choking them against a wall are bad things to do. But it was my fault, so make me pay by playing head games with a 6 year old. Then arguing that she doesn't need counseling because in his world, no body does bad things to children...it's all hunky and dory and I wouldn't be suprised if he tried to take her to the recital and be around the boy again. Because why?? Asshats don't have brains.
Im very angry at him. Moreso angry than anyone I have been at in my life. I think he's a horrible person and seeing what he did to my kids. Anthony said the other day "Kyle took me off his facebook"... i said anthony did you expect any different... He said no he never did like me anyways. So ........ Good job father of the year asshat...
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Tuesday

Not much going on, just doing laundry and recleaning clean stuff. Walking around in circles some. Feel emotionally drained today. I'm tired. Gotta get Savannah today and my car isn't doing well at all. Any day it's going to be gone. I have asked my dad to do the tranmission fluid thing a few times..... I can't do it myself. I don't even know what type I put into my car. Anyone in Louisville, who's on city trash know what number to call to figure out this yard waste thing? I don't know who to call and have a ton of leaves i need picked up.
Gotta go to the dentist tomorrow and give him money that I don't have.

Oh boy I can't wait.

Happy day.
Although it's not happy, its easier pretending it is.

Love,
Di

Pissed off

today so I needed a new pissed off song. Plus I love the song.
Happy Flippin Monday.
I hate em.
love
Di

Video makin me cryyyyy!! Oh noes!

Saw this on the today show and found it on you tube. So sweet and ugh just made me cry. Cry, cry, cry LOL

Okay, family... Who started it?

I have noticed this for awhile on a few members of my family.... I don't know how it started. Who started it, but so far I have heard everyone but Sandy May do it.... The TRIPLES!!!!!! I do it! My mom does it the most out of anyone I talk to.
What's a triple you might ask..... Owooo, Owooo, Owooo!
I have never heard anyone else outside our family do this, so it has to just be us and our weird cultist ways.
Like I said my mom does it all the time. Lordy, Lordy, Lordy is her most frequently used triple... The other day I went to Mary O' Leafs and her and Juan were talking and she said that's wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.... Curl a month or so ago, I called told her I could make it to church, she lets out a first high pitched Good! there's a pause and then there's a good, good, good!!
Today, while cleaning Karen's, Tommy had called and I could hear her and she said Oh Cool, cool, cool!! What's with this? I have tried to stop the triples, but I can't. I don't know what it is.... is something more emphasized when you add 2 extra words? Do we just love words that much? It's really funny when you think about it. All them extra words, words, words! Do the Lindsey girls do this? this, this, this? What about the boys? I haven't spoken with Sandy much, since I noticed the triples... Sandy do you do this?
It's really quirky and cute, even if I don't know why any of us do it.
Have a wonderful Friday.
Love, love, love
Dianna

And even a bit better today =)

I think all the stress of moving and such hit me hard and I'm slowly getting into a routine. All the driving. OMG. I drive so much and my van is going downhill quickly. Mom has been letting me take her car some, which is a huge relief. Yesterday I took all the kiddies to the park. Juans girlfriend met him up there, Anthony found some friends up there. They all hung out, played ball. Me n Savannah went for a walk and she loved all the joggers. Let me tell you, this close to the mini marathon there were a TON of joggers and people. There were people everywhere. They got some new play equipment and Savannah had a blast on it. We were up there for about 2 hrs and came home and cleaned up leaves in the front yard. God, I love this house. I absolutely LOVE it. It's the cutest one on the street! After we did the yard, we ate supper and then I gave her a nice long bath. She was filthy. About 9:30 I sat down to get some me time on the computer and she was not happy. I rarely play on the computer anymore and anytime I do I feel like someone is giving me crap about it. That is what I do to relax and I didn't get on til late, late... I don't see what the big deal is. I don't watch any TV. Our TV in the living room has rarely been on.
I went and picked up her bike at Jannas and I think we are going to the park again and I'm gonna let her ride her bike. It was so gorgeous out yesterday.

Okay, I'm off to clean. I'm on a mission and then I think I'm gonna put something in the crock pot and take a nap.

Happy Wednesday

Love,
Di

A lil better today

I think I had Savannahs cold over the weekend. My nose just was awful and no matter how many tylenol sinus I took it was still awful. I had a few dizzy spells. I think I just have to let those settle down again. I'm just very discouraged they are back and I wonder am I going to have to do this for the rest of my life.
On a brighter note, the kids may not like it here, but I love it. I love everything about this house and it's like it was made just for me. I love my room, I love my tub. I love it.
There's no yelling. Not even I yell here. There's no fighting. There's quiet and peace. I just love it. Even the dogs love it.
I don't wanna move from here. I really, really don't. It just suits me.
Yesterday I was having an awful day. I had alot of financial things, tooth problems, headache, Savannah was sick........ I just couldn't take anymore stress. Savannah on Friday, had a sleepover. I had Maddie May and Sophia come over and stay the night. They had a blast and stayed up well until after 1 am... Saturday, Sophia had a birthday party and Savannah and Maddie went to that and she stayed til 8 when she called upset and wanted to come home. I picked her up, her eyes were goopy, she was coughing and sneezing. Just a bad cold. We didn't make it home 3 min and she was konked out. I explained to her yesterday that we couldn't do anything. She didn't feel well, I didn't feel well and I just had no money. She pouted all day. Said alot she was bored and what have you. I felt bad, but nothing I could do. Even if I would've had money we all needed to stay home and get better. The day wears on and she talks to Kyle........ This is where I get angry.... She tells him she's bored and there's nothing to do...... What does he tell her? He's going over to sprinkles to see the puppies and play w/ mimi and allie and all that stuff, just making a huge deal out of it. So she starts bawling cause she can't go. She hangs up and I said what's wrong? She said "Daddy said he's going to sprinkles to play with all the dogs and going to play with mimi and Allie" Why couldn't of he just said, he's going to aunt sprinkles? Why on Gods green earth does he have to soup it up. I know he's very competitive, he used to get way out of sorts with his sisters over different things. If they got something better or time or blah blah... So, I'm wondering if he's now carrying the competition over to Savannah. Who can do the most with Savannah. Too bad for him, he wins with me not competing. She's not visiting when she comes here, this is her home. If we can't do something every day, then we can't do something every day. It's a sad part of life. If he gets her to where she expects to do something at his house every day, he's in for a world of hurt one day.
Either way, I was just mad because he had to gravy it up. She eventually got over it. I let her use my camera to take pics of everything and she had a good time. We snuggled in bed and went to sleep. She was completely unharmed in a day of having to stay home! GASP! I'd give my eye teeth (literally anymore) to have someone make me stay home for a day. PLEASEEEEEEEE DO!

=)
Okay, off to pick up the boys from school.
Happy day
Love,
Di

I'm Depressed

I just can't figure out the whole point to my life. I'm down. I'm out of money, I'm tired. We are all sick again with a cold and some pink eye for extra fun. I'm lonely.
Last night I get a phone call from Juans dad. Juan told him he wanted to come live with him because GASP I MOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he didn't like it. He will have to go to Fairdale which from what I hear is like being sent to hell. (according to him) Everyone is pissed because I moved. I had no choice.
Anymore I don't care. I told him, you know if you want to go and live with your dad just go.
I can't do all this anymore. I'm tired. I have wracked my brain 20 different ways and sideways to figure out how I'm gonna afford to get them all to school tomorrow and all they can do is complain. Don't wanna eat what I cook, don't wanna sit home because they are bored. Blah blah blah complain complain.
I just can't take anymore.
I think my life is pointless. If there is a point I sure just don't see it. It's nothing but constant stress, chaos and worry.
I just don't understand.
I just don't care.
Screw today.
Love,
Dianna

Thursday

UGH! Ever since I had that flu, I have not been right. Right after my flu, then I got an infected tooth thingy. I had to go to the dentist and I was white knuckling the chair the whole time. I was so freaking dizzy. I mean majorly dizzy to the point I was bawling. He had to get to a point where he could stop and let me leave. I went swimming at the YMCA somehow went under water and got tons of water in my ear and I couldn't get it out. Now I am back to being majorly dizzy. Im so mad. This morning I went and got tylenol sinus took them, taking my antibiotics, I got some zyrtec to switch too. I don't want to relive that whole dizziness crap again. Im so freaking angry and tired. I just want the dizziness chapter of my life freaking closed. I say so many prayers but they don't work. I mean I have been praying for that for that for over a year and it's just not working. Nothings working. So anyone out there please say prayers for me, maybe he will hear yours. I can't take it anymore and it's making me depressed
=(
Love
di

I LOVE Nails!!!

Who ever knew they had hugely long nails! This is a new concept to me. These old people know how to do it!! Okay, so I moved into a house. An older house. The kids all went goo goo ga ga over the pencil sharpener attached to the wall. Me? The NAILS!! There are so many cleverly placed nails in the closets, in the pantry... OMG I Love it!! Anytime I don't know where to put something, I think I bet there's a nail somewhere for this or for that and OMG The stuff fits perfectly. The lady who lived here before me was a genius!! Her nail placement skills were off the freaking hook!! I will have to take a pic and show you. I'm sadly running out of nails. I am deeply saddened by this and I know if I try to place them myself it will not be the same. I needed a place to hang my broom last night and out of the corner of my eye spotted a lone nail.... I ran over and OMG the broom even had a hole for this nail. It's like they were MFEO =)

Yesterday I hate teeth, today I love nails....
LOL I blogged tooth and nail HA HA !!!

Happy Sunday
Love
Di

PS my cousin is a sicko, she shot my dog in the eye with corn and thought it was funny. Poor puppy was just wanting a bite to eat and she was over at the table just a gigglin, I'm thinking what's so funny? Tommys thinking it's him, I'm thinking its me...then she says through her laughter, I bit my corn and the juice shot opie in the eye and then mocked how he jerked back and his eye motions.......What brought me to this is, I'm eating corn and just did the same thing to the opposite eye!! He's gonna get cornjunctivitis!

I hate teeth

I got another infected tooth. Went to the dentist, on a ton of antibiotics. Work will be done on Monday if Kyle/Cobra stuff is straight. It hurts. Yesterday I felt so awful, I cried all afternoon. Kids were all gone, I was bored and lonely. Karen came over and we went to lunch. Dad dropped in for about 5 min and other than that, I cried all day.
I don't know why I can't be like everyone else with their teeth. For some reason mine just have to go to extremes. As much as I brush and floss, I shouldn't have any trouble at all.
I'm getting ready to go to moms and then to the store. Karen and Tommy I think are coming over tonight for dinner and some games or something.
Happy day
love
Dianna

Howdy on Thursday!

OMG, been so stinking busy it's unreal. I clock 75 miles a way abouts dropping everyone off at their schools. I don't get home til after 9 every morning and leave out shortly before 7. Juans been getting to school on time so thats good. Today I had to go to Karens to clean. She's down with the flu so I went to the store and got the stuff to make her a pot of white chili. I cooked it while I cleaned. We chatted the whole time and then watched Jeff Dunham and I had to head out to get Juan. I had a really good time with Karen today! No Furby WOOTS! After I got Juan I got some more stuff at the store for some more white chili cause the boys want some. So came home, showered, cleaned my whole house, did 2 loads of laundry, made the chili. Sitting down now to eat then heading to the YMCA to work out. When I get home gonna spend some time with Elmer, haven't gotten to talk to him too much. Savannahs w/ Kyle this weekend so I have the whole weekend to do nothing! I'm looking forward to it. I may watch some movies or something. I asked Karen to go out so if she's feeling better we may. Also church on Sunday, which Im looking very forward to!
Okay, gotta eat and run
Happy Thursday!
Love,
Di

And last but not least....

The bathroom is now done. The boys room still isn't finished, but they are both old enough to do it themselves. They are counting on me to unpack their boxes and I am afraid they are sadly mistaken. Pics to come when they unpack! Here's my lil bathroom! And a PS, I'm FINISHED! no more boxes, nothing, it's all done. I have a few things to get at the other house, but I'm completely DONE =) I worked 12-15 hrs a day to get it all done. Persistence pays off. So now drop in, it's done and clean!

My room =) YAY!

Just finished it!


I have 2 closets so it worked out w/ me not having a dresser. They are cedar lined too so YAY!!

YAY living room is done =)

I am loving my new house. It is sooooooo flipping cute. Everyone that comes over says how cute it is. Me n the plumber were talking this morning and he said, this house is very cute. I was like I KNOW!!! I love it. This morning I got up at 5 am, got Anthony to bus, got Juan to school on time =) YAY! Progress! Alot of driving, but progress!! Okay, here's my living room. I love my couch =) I cleaned houses and saved my own money for that thing and I LOVE IT. Makes me appreciate it much more when I worked my bum off for it. I don't have pics up yet and very old lady curtains. I gotta save up some cash for some new curtains and figure out what to do with the walls. I love the new carpet too. I have remnants of it down in places so it stays new for awhile. Everything in the house is pretty much brand spanking new!

A couple of new house pics

Anyone who was here the day I moved, knows what kind of progress this is LOL
The house is small but very homey. Stop in.

First is Savannahs room. I sanded and painted that dresser myself =)

she has so much stuff, it looks crowded but actually she has a whole side I didn't get a pic of and a very big closet

Here's my kitchen



Ill send more tomorrow =)
Love,
Di

Got moved

Sigh. I'm plum wore out. Yesterday I stood and unpacked and packed for 15 straight hours. When I sat down at the puter to play Monopoly w. Elmer I almost dozed off at puter. I crawled in bed and konked. HH gregg gave me a 6 am wake up call to let me know my stove would be here between 1 and 4. I went back to sleep.
Mom came over and Sue came over and today I have not sat down. 5 min here or there. Mom got us some lunch. Im trying frantically to unpack and get this stuff done. It's a mess and I can't take the mess. On any level.

Okay, my breaks over. I have a bad headache. I'm half wondering if I have a sinus infection from that flu. Flu is all gone =) It's last weeks news LOL

Okay, come see me when you get a chance.

Love,
Di

Wednesday

Have I mentioned lately I hate winter? You know back in the day I used to hate summer... Why? I dunno, but now I hate winter. I don't like the illnesses that go with it.
My flu is getting better in the respect that I don't have a fever. Although my left tonsil is killing me and it's beet red. That ear still is clogged up.
Facing a problem.... I had some tooth work done on Dec 29th. I was supposed to have had it finished like a month ago. Kyle/ COBRA etc etc... my paperworks still not done. Its way over due.
So what happens? Of course it's me... Kyle kept his filling in for 6 or more mos no problems ever... Me?????? 6 weeks and mine breaks falls out. I see a cotton ball it hurts. Im dizzy as heck and have to go today to have a nother temporary put in til they get this crap straightened out.
Im stressed to the flipping max, Im terrified of laying with my heels over my head in that chair. I'm afraid of dizzy.
I don't feel well, Savannah is feeling better but all her toys are packed up and she is driving me crazy today. She didn't go to school we went to the new house. She wants to go to the Y and no matter how I try to explain we can't go when we have the flu she doesn't wanna hear it. Shes bored. I have tried watching movies she doesnt want to..
It's really stressing me out with nothing here for her to do and we can't go out in public. Maybe the trip to the dentist will entertain her.
Doubtful, maybe my screaming will if they flip me too far upside down.
Too bad it's not Christmas so I can say Bah humbug.
Love
di