April 11, 2005 *Evening

I can honestly say, today was not a good day. Some times of the month I am perfectly Ok..... Then others, like today I am not. I had to go take care of Uncle Ed and his apartment was soooooooooooooooooooo hot, UGH I mean HOT, so that set the ugly stage for panic. I got nervous driving home and then couldn't swallow, felt like my throat was closing up. The closer i got to home, the better I felt, but it's still a pain. I get so angry at myself. I have to go to therapy again on Thursday and its so far away. Sigh. I need to go. There is no way around it. I have been stagnant for 8 years. In the same rutt. 1 step forward 2 steps back. I wanna get out and walk, but when i do my allergies go crazy. Sneezing, eyes get watery and then the rest of the day my eyes turn pink. I love spring yet hate parts of it. My dog is an idiot. He just walked up to me pushed his teeth on my arm. Why, I have no clue. Then he went and got a clean diaper out of the diaper bag to brush his teeth on. Hes a geek. If we get this house, I am going to go adopt Opie a dog. Have him a dogs dog LOL. He gets lonely and i think we should get him a friend. I was supposed to clean today I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I would go clean off a counter, then come sit down. Go and clean off another counter, then come sit back down. LOL my whohle kitchen is almost clean, but its taken the whole damn day to do it. I put really thick pork chops in the crock pot with bbq sauce and they have been cooking all day. I just took the lid off to check on them and they are so tender they fell apart and its almost like eating barbque YAY> I found out some of Krafts bbq sauces are gluten free. I couldn't of been happier!! I also eat Kroger grits ALLLLLLLLLLLLL The time and LOL They were out for 6 weeks. Wellllllllll, i found some and now I have a whole cupboard stocked full of grits. LOL good thing no one looks in my cabinents!