Derby time

Okay found my horse!! I read a blog about a little girl named Alex, you may have heard of Alex's lemonade stands, wellllll......... I had no clue that there was a horse running for her and benefitting her lemonade stands!! The horses name is Afleet Alex! A beautiful horse, who i will be pulling for all the way to win the Derby!! i am so excited!!! if you wanna read alex blog the website is
http://www3.caringbridge.org/page/alexscott/

The address to the horses website is
http://www.afleetalex.com/index.html

I have no clue how to make links so just copy and paste them into your browser and
GO BABY GO!!

Friday Friday Friday

well Derby time starts tomorrow, Balloon race, which i can guarantee won't get off the ground in the morning because of the wind. No rain so that means my yardsale can take place YAY ! i hope the wind doesnt get us though. The mini marathon is in the morning too, jogging 13 miles at 8 am is not my cup of tea. I couldnt make it one without the paramedics comin my way. My thigh is still hurting speaking of running. I have no clue what happened to it. its been hurting for a few days. theres no lumps or anything. Its probably more chiropractic woes. I haven't been all week. Woopsie. i just don't wanna hurt and the adjustments hurt after the dr cook incident. Thank you very much Dr Cook @@. I went to big lots this morning and got maddie n savannah each a mary kate and ashley video. They love those girls. To Grandmothers house we go is a fav of theirs. No bed No bed No bed! they love that line LOL Maddie won't be here tomorrow, thank Goodness and hopefully savannah sleeps in pretty late. Well i gotta turn the teletubbies off. The baby in the sun scares me and frankly so do they. i don't see how they can be educational, th ey talk like Goodnesss know what and ugh are irritating. Tubby toast @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ on that i am o uttie

Evening

Well back from my aunts. Everytime i go over there i get sad. Sad that shes moving and just sad. My grandmas used to live in her basement. It's just hard going over there and remembering when i was over there visiting her. I am sad that my aunt is moving its the one place i feel my grandmas spirit. I miss her terribly. I had to dust all her pics tonighti just looked at them for awhile. I know my parents love me thats a gimme, but my grandma, i never ever doubted that she loved me. I always just knew. She didn't care that i had glasses, she was never on my case for anything. She just loved me. For who i was, not what i could be. I miss her chewing gum, i miss her smell, I miss her saying "for cryin out loud" Her little white pleather purses. Her prescription shoes. I just miss her. So many things she would like, she wouldve loved Game show network and nick and nite, tv land. She loved Matlock and Alex Trebek. She would be thrilled to know he was still on. She would love all that stuff. God, i miss her. Very much. Her mallowmars cookies, she always kept in the cookie jar. I loved those! her bananas. Her pink medicine that always smelled good even though i have no clue what it was. iced tea and ham sandwiches. Funny how a simple glass of tea can bring back so many memories. I remember seeing her before her surgery, i didn't think it would be the last time i would talk to her. She had her bible and was reading it, I gave her a big hug. I can still see her tucking the black book mark thing in the bible in the page and closing it. She was scared i know she was and she was praying to be safe in her surgery. Bless her heart. She developed an infection and was allergic to penicillin, back then they didn't have as many drugs as they do today. A few days later i come back after her surgery, she has tubes everywhere she doesnt, she doesn't look anything like my grandma. I went over and said "Hi grandma" her hand jumped she knew i was there. Her hand was so soft. I traced the blue veins in her hands her skin was so pale. I just remember how soft they were. Damn lotion :( Okay i gotta go to bed cause i am cryin too much and Juan will get freaked out if he sees me cryin. Weird how i don't think about this stuff for years and going to my aunts triggers an overload of memories. I think opening the blue box and seeing my grandmas glasses did it for me. It's just one more thing i never dealt with and I am paying for it now. I am still dealing with brett on and off, but each day, ill deal with what i am capable of and for now just enjoy the memories of the people i love.

My uncle Eddie

well the man hasn't left his house in years n years n years n years n years, well you get the point. But he decided today he wanted to take a walk. Keep in mind, not only does he have scizophrenia and delusions but he is for the most part blind. Well, no one knows how long he had been out for. But he was cold and he got lost. The police picked him up about a mile and a half from his home wandering up and down the road. I guess no one ever thinks to ask him if he wants to go for a walk or anything. We just all assume he doesnt like to leave his house. He had his lil U of K hat on, bless his heart. He said he was cold. I hope the police were nice to him My aunt is on her way to pick him up from the police station. Ill give more details when i know them.

PS

Psycho scott has got to go home tonight, he hassssssssssssssssssss to. It has been on my mind for an hour now. If he stays i will vomit i just know it. Go home Psycho Scott!! okay i think i am done now. ohhh i just got finished reading one of my favorite blogs, but its sad. Its a lady whos friends with kris (the lady we are buying the house from) I have been reading it for awhile, it takes you through her battle with Colon cancer, chemo and raising her 3 daughters. She found out she had colon cancer when her 3rd daughter was an infant. She passed away last year and now the blog is kept up by her hubby. Its so very very sad. Here is their blog if you wanna stop by and offer them prayers and support.
http://www2.caringbridge.org/ky/sarahkrauskopf/index.htm

Finally woke up!

i went to Target, the store of my dreams! my mom bought me some cleaner if i picked her some up too. I cleaned all day my kitchen, it sparkles! YAY! Okay on the anxiety attack thing, I think i had a breakthrough today. I usually have to have air blowing in my face all the time or else it feels like i am not breathing. Also i always am thinking about anxiety and body scanning looking for symptoms. Well when i picked up Juan today, I daydreamed for about 10 minutes. I NEVER daydream anymore. For 10 whole minutes i wasn't body scanning. That was weird for me because its been so long. ANDDDDDDDD I had no heat no air nothing on. THere was no movement of air and I did't feel like i was suffocating. I caught myself on both counts and just kinda sat there for a few minutes and enjoyed the moments. Its been years since that has happened. So i had to share. Hopefully this is a beginning of the end for anxiety. :)

Sleepyyyyyy

i can't wake up, my wrists are sore from yesterday and i am slowly but surely cleaning my house. Its so slow going. :( i dont wanna do it at all.. I don't have time to write right now cause i am so busy but just wanted to stop in and wish that i could take a break. I was supposed to go to my aunts to clean tonight but i am too sore, so kyle is going to go clean her carpets and ill go tomorrow night :(

Found this photo

I had never noticed before.......She just turned 2 LOL she has her finger up her nose and in the background LOL read the sign. Thought it was funny!!

April 26,2005

Writing really quick while i eat my breakfast. Getting ready to clean my aunts for the day. My goal of going to bed at 1030,,,,,,,,,,,,well I met it, BUTTT........Woke up with a panic attack about 5 min after falling asleep, i got shaky and upset and ended up staying up til midnight. I know once roseanne goes off and fresh prince is making its 2cd round, its time to go to sleep. But if i stay up and wings comes on I am in deep shit cause then its too late LOL. So i am going on about 6 hrs sleep @@ i am tired. Oh well, life goes on i do suppose. Savannah left this morning for larrys and Sesame Street came on and i started crying. Whyyyy cause i miss her. :( I rarely get to see her when i am not working :( we need a girl day :( my lil princess. Okay i have gots to go, cats testing is this week and juan can't be late. Ill bbl.

evening

i am sitting here eating a gluten free brownie with peanut butter chips. It tastes like heaven til you chew it and the gritty rice texture gets to you. Why are mondays always stressful? Seems everyone drove slower today. Seems the traffic was heavier today. It gets like this every year at Derby time. I hate the extra traffic. I live about 5 miles from Churchill downs. It sucks. Man these brownies are awful i wonder if i didn't mix them well enough. its like eating chocolate covered sand. Bluch. i wanna go have some big fat waffles and some biscuits yummmmmmmmmm but nope never ever again :( of all diseases for me to get LOL it had to be a food disease LMAO isn't that ironic. Food my drug of choice. I am so bored. Kyle came home and went outside directly to mow the grass. I never see him. I haven't been going to bed til 1230 or 1 am so i have made a plan to go to sleep at 1030. The only bad thing is when i do that, i wake up with a panic attack. I feel shaky, can't catch my breath, etc. But when i stay up later, i don't wake up in an attack. I remember before savannah came along, i used to go to bed at 9 or 930 lmao i haven't seen a bed time like that for awhile. She had colic and screamed all day and all night. She still screams alot at 3 LOL. None of my kids are sleepers. Anthony thinks that when it gets light, its wake up time. Even at almost 14 he doesnt sleep in. Juan will sleep in but since they share a room anthony wakes him up. Savannah only sleeps late on the days i need her to be up early LOL . Well i guess i had better go. I have to spend the day tomorrow cleaning my aunts. I didn't have to do much recleaning at my uncles this morning. Thank God! Okay I will try to find time to write tomorrow evening.

April 25, 2005

We'll count yesterday as a washup. Pretty much a bad day all day. One consolation was in between my cleanings I got to take a nap. I Never take naps. It was niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. :) I was that exhausted. I don't have anything to do today, cept babysit, buy prilosec and reclean my whole house. That's still alot to do. It was about 80 degrees all last week, then tornados snow saturday and today its plum freezing. I got gas last night for 1.99 WOO WOO the place we got it at was packed. The lowest other than that was 2.04. Maddie got here at 5am kyle got up with her, i didn't even know she got here. I even had dreams last night. Go me. Well, i am gonna go eat me some grits and get my baby boy to school. Ill bbl.

Sunday April 24, 2005

No one knows what it's like

To feel these feelings

Like I do

And I blame you



No one bites back as hard

On their anger

None of my pain and woe

Can show through

Sunday April 24, 2005

Well. Im tired as hell. I didn't go to sleep til 12, got up at 3 with savannah screaming, then got back up nost at 7:20. Maddie got here at 6 but i think kyle was up and got her. I wanna go back to bed, but i can't. I have to get ready. Eat. Go clean moms, go clean aunt sues. Come home go grocery shopping with kyle, then go to clean Uncle eddies and feed him dinner. You have no clue, how much I don't wanna do any of this stuff. My back is killing me. It now hurts even to wear a bra. My arms are numb and I wanna just spend the day watching movies. Nope. Never. I have to work. Every single freakin day. No breaks. No vacations. Just work. Unscripted LOL sounded like TLC had to throw that in there. Dave couldn't get my back adjusted on friday and man, it hurts. Badly. It feels bruised. I don't wanna go anymore. at all. My back is very messed up. Just seems as soon as i get to feeling ok, i go and my back wont adjust because of dr cooks injury and then i get left with pain. I am tired of pain. I Hurt every day so why go do it on purpose. I am already trying to devise many ways to get out of mondays appt. I have extreme anxiety about going. Tuesday, I have to clean my aunts all day long. I need to find a babysitter. Wed evening, clean my aunts, friday evening clean my aunts. Thursday therapy. Saturday back to cleaning moms and uncle eddies. Sigh. Oh shit, i forgot about the yardsale saturday morning. i gotta do that. I really wanted to take the kids to the balloon race, but, Of course. Work. @@ eye roll for sure. you know I am going to try to schedule a me day when school is out of course and i don't have to drive all over Gods green earth. Just a me day. I am going to get my hair cut and get my regrowth done. You think being a hairdresser i could color my own hair but nope.Crud . HAIRRRRRRRR my boys both have been begging me for haircuts all weekend, I guess I need to go and wake them up and tell them if they want their hair cut lets get moving. My mom emailed me and I gotta cut her hair before i clean. Alllllllll planning my free day turns Owooow GOtta go.

Saturday, Saturday, Saturday

A lil sir elton this rainy saturday morning! I have been cleaning ALL Morning long. Cleaning out everything to get rid of anything I possibly can. I ebayed a few of my aunts music boxes. Listing stuff on there to me is a pain. Ummmmmm Savannah gets her new bed today :) ill take a pic of it. I cleaned and rearranged her room so it would all fit in there. Its so cute. Her doll house bed i will either yardsale or once upon a child it. Either or. I just want stuff GONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! i am tired of stuff. The more stuff the more of a mess. The boys are cleaning out their room. I am achey. I dunno if its from all the cleanin or the weather change. Last night we had some baddddddddd storms, one min the sky was dark then the next it was dark green and we had a tornado warning. I have some pics Ill post. My mom got pics of the funnel cloud. SKEERYYYYYY!! I went outside and kyle asked why the sky was dark green and I was like that means TORNADO EEK so he got the kids in the closet and of course being a big chicken that i am stood outside to take pics @@







and of course i have to show you after the storm

afternoon

okay better this afternoon, thank goodness. I got all the mad out of my system. I got the laundry room cleaned out and organized, the hall closet cleaned out and organized, dinner finished, dishes done and counters wiped down. I am going to put away laundry buttttttttttttttttt theres a spider in there, screw that. Kyle can put it away. I almost cried LOL i am that afraid of spiders. I can presently see myself shaking out everything I own from now on eek til i think that eight legged sucker is gone. He was just looking at me. Of course all brown spiders are recluses according to us. It sounds better ya know, than it was just a spider ;) my anxiety disorder started with thunderstorms. It thunderstormed the day i found out brett had cancer. Its supposed to thunderstorm bad here tonight. I am scared. Before i used to watch the weather channel for hours on a day it was supposed to storm. Today i have graduated to watching the news when it comes on, but not really checking until it storms. For 10 years i was fine, so i kinda grew out of it. but i am nervous. There is a plus, I got to watch Ellyn today :) I think she is one of the funniest human beings ever LOL, watching her always makes me feel better. :) I can't wait til summer to catch all her reruns and order me a donkey that shoots cigarettes out of its butt!! ANthony got his report card, all A's 1 b and D in algebra. I don't know how to handle that mix. I am terrible in math, so it is passed on but I feel his video game time should be limited a lil to study it more. I dunno, i shall think on it. I gotta price my aunts stuff for the yardsale, I guess ill do that tonight and organize it. I gotta find out when town haul is comin on again i miss it :( ill be back tomorrow

awwww my beauty

Snooooooooooooooooooooooooop

That freaking song is stuck in my headddddd. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Tonight, going okay. Since i had that flu, i am anxious all the time, no matter what I do i am body scanning or something doesn't "feel right" its truthfully making me nuts. I haven't felt good in awhile now. Maybe it's because i am not sleeping much at night. I am not getting replenished or something. Hells bells who knows. Maybe its that the flu was sooooooo awful that i am scared to get it again. I haven't ever been that sick. Ever. I recovered faster from childbirth than from that. I still don't feel like I did before and I still lose my voice frequently if i talk to much. I had no voice for 15 whole freaking days. @@ eye roll to that. Well Kyle just informed me that Savannah is asleep so I guess I will try to sleep. I am IMing with my friend. I am sad for her. She reads this so I hope she is listening. Only diet if you want to. Don't let anyones harsh harsh words and criticism, make you want to have an operation that could kill you. Being thin, isn't worth it. You look beautiful the way you are. Someone doesn't see you for who you are inside. He just laughs and ridicules you and makes you hurt. He makes you doubt yourself when he should be loving you, no matter if you fail on a diet or if you succeed. He shouldn't ever tell you to change your clothes or who you are. You are too good for him. God made you the way you are. He made us all different sizes, different colors, different ways. You've lost yourself somewhere, by the things he tells you. I know it hurts being heavy, I know it hurts all to well, but i couldnt imagine the pain, of taking one of the things, I hate most about myself and having someone I love use that to hurt me. I'll reiterate, you are to good for him. You are so funny and you make me laugh, but I always see sadness in your eyes. Cheer up my friend and love you for who you are. I Love you and I think you are the one of the kindest souls i have met. God doesn't make accidents and he made you. So thats gotta tell you something. I am going to finish IMing you now and tell you to read this so get to reading and cheer up. We'll hit the new Golden Corral this week and only make healthy choices!! COUGH COUGH!! Really if you diet, i will help you. Well go walking or you can ride my bike or I can let you take opie on a walk with Pinto and buddy ;) Thats for sure exercise. God bless you my friend! I gotta go to sleep now cause Grammy shirley about killed me yesterday. Nite nite!!

Posting some pics from yesterday

I love my children!! PS I didn't sleep last night, I thought for sure i was going to have a heart attack and die because things were going so right. Whats that song, won the lottery and died the next day? Man i just need to accept it! We get the news on our house this week. I am scared, more so now than ever. So I am going to post picssssssssssss YAY :)
Okay this first one, is of all 3 of my angels, at Waterfront Park.




The second one is of Savannah after she saw Geese fighting. These geese scared the crap outta her. They were all nesting and LOUD!



Third is of my boys, getting mad at me because i asked to take their picture. They don't know some day theyll appreciate my camera always being in their face!



fourth is my baby girl trying to climb a tree at the cemetery. Shes so cute!



Fifth pic is savannah looking at the Dirty Ohio River, bless her heart



Last and least for now ( i gotta put my single bros pic up so he can get married, I need neices and nephews! ) Savannah hurt her arm and i thought this pic was so cute

Bored :(

There is nothing to do tonight :( I'm bored. I've been in blog world for a little while. I cleaned for a little while. Savannah and myself ummmm sorta dressed up her my size barbie. Savannah says she looks beautiful, i say she looks streetwalkerish LOL She has on necklaces and pretty pjs and princess beely boppers a beaded purse and socks with balls on them. Okay sounds more skanky than street walker, butttt she looks horrific, I think i may share a pic LOL Okay finalizing the disc hang on a sec LOL i told her to say cheese and she looked at street walker barbie and asked her to say cheese LOL



I hope that worked. Kyle is off getting her to beddy bye, my brother is in town visiting, sleeping at our house. She loves her Uncle Johnny. He was away for alot of years at Law school, he came back last year when he graduated and then worked here for awhile and got transferred to a firm down in Lexington. At least its not too far away. Okay I guess i am gonna go find something to do. Savannah has watched A Christmas Story all day so i have images of red ryder bb guns dancing in my head. Okay, I got roped into garage saling in the morning. hopefully i can find something I can sand down and make purty.
Til tomorrow

A Treasures Trove

Okay not sure if you guys know about this book, A Treasures Trove. A guy Michael Strather (sp?) has hidden 13 jewels in the US and you buy the book and try to figure out the codes and what nots to find out where the jewels are. They are VERY hard codes and very hard clues. Well.............I have heard that there is one right here in Louisville!! My mom and I went troving at George Rogers Clark Park and found some trees like in the book. Soooooooooo Now i have to go read this book again and try to find this jewel!!!!!!!!! its so much fun doing it, but stressful. I want the token to get the jewel!!! I guess well hit Cave Hill Cemetery next, a beautiful beautiful cemetery/park. If you have Treasure Troved let me know!

Friday afternoon NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I did it, I gave into anxiety :((((((((((((((((((((( I went and got Juan out of school early because i always have panic attacks on the drive home, friday traffic is so bad and I had a headache so i gave in and went and got him. :( I am disappointed in myself, but what's done is done. The chiro this morning did nothing for my headache. He could barely get my back adjusted. I am that tense. I told him its his fault (we are trying to buy his house) Its been a week since paperwork has been done and they keep telling us, oh maybe tomorrow well know @@ eye roll for them. JUST TELL US!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess a week from now, we'll know and it will have been silly to of been this keyed up over the answer. Auntie Am came over last night and i fixed her computer and copied her tax papers for her. She just moved here from Hawaii, Why?? Who would leave HI for KY? She must love us an awful lot LOL. Its nice they are here, but at the same time it brought up memories of brett, (thats his sister) they like talking about him and I do too but sometimes its painful. I am dealing with it though after blocking it out for so long so thats good. The therapist said that your mind will let you know what you can deal with and when. Ill know when its time to move on and deal with the next issue. Juan got his report card All of his grades have gone up :) Makes me proud!! Anthony wants his yearbook this year so I guess well get it. Last year we got it and some kids stole it from him @@ so i hope this year isn't a repeat. Okay I guess I had better.........Um ........... Um......... I don't think I have anything to do LOL I could post a picture of my sweetie sleepin this morning. Yah Yah Yah i think i will. She had her little hands tucked under her head. She melts my heart. Pic below then i guess ill go be a ho LOL hey it rhymes!!

I DID IT

i am figuring this blog stuff out!! FINALLY! I even posted a pic of lil ole me in my profile! YAY go me go me its my birthday! Okay I need a song for today hmmmmmmmmmm what kind of mood am I in.................
GREASEE!!!!!! I so gotta buy that on DVD I LOVE THIS MOVIE!! okay gonna jam to Grease while I clean and mix it up with Grease 2 and get me a C*O*O*L R*I*D*E*R then maybe Score tonight LOL ;) sorry hunney if you are reading, You know I am in love with Zach Braff forever n ever n ever. Okay heres my song below, Now if i get really good Ill be able to sound clip it in here, then you guys will be scared of me!!
Grease................Frankie valli, I think sings this, Don't quote me on that.

I solve my problems and I see the light

We gotta plug and think, we gotta feed it right

There ain't no danger we can go to far

We start believing now that we can be who we are

Grease is the word

They think our love is just a growing pain

Why don't they understand, It's just a crying shame

Their lips are lying only real is real

We start to find right now we got to be what we feel

Grease is the word

Grease is the word, is the word that you heard

It's got groove it's got meaning

Grease is the time, is the place is the motion

Grease is the way we are feeling

We take the pressure and we throw away

Conventionality belongs to yesterday

There is a chance that we can make it so far

We start believing now that we can be wo we are

Grease is the word

Grease is the word, is the word that you heard

It's got groove it's got meaning

Grease is the time, is the place is the motion

Grease is the way we are feeling

This is the life of illusion

Wrapped up in trouble laced with confusion

What we doing here?

We take the pressure and we throw away

Conventionality belongs to yesterday

There is a chance that we can make it so far

We start believing now that we can be who we are

Grease is the word

Grease is the word, is the word that you heard

It's got groove it's got meaning

Grease is the time, is the place is the motion

Grease is the way we are feeling

Grease is the word, is the word that you heard

It's got groove it's got meaning

Grease is the time, is the place is the motion

Grease is the way we are feeling

Grease is the word

Is the word

Is the word

Is the word

Is the word

Is the word

Is the word

Is the word

Is the word

Loyalty

This is true loyalty, I get up from bed, my daughter has at some point gotten in bed with us. Opie, won't leave her til she gets up. He may make a mess and drive us crazy, but he protects our children and earns his keep. I get the camera and take some pics of opie being a friend then go to finalize the disc and check my mail. Some 10 minutes later I come back. Savannah has rolled over and Opie copies her direction. I feel safe knowing he looks after her so well. Below is a pic of 10 minutes later. He's such a good dog. He watches out the window the whole time we are gone, just watching and waiting. I love my puppy doggie. My best friend. I should go buy him a bone today!!

April 15, 2005

I actually slept last night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am trying to wake up, we had to be up early, I have a chiro appt at 8. But I am not moving in any kind of fast way. I have to be there at 8 take juan to school and be back here to pick up Maddie (girl i babysit) at 9. My day is stressful before it even begins. Kyle was gonna leave for work again and I jumped his case while i was asleep. I just don't understand why he always goes to work early. I was like, do some laundry or something. I mean hell work here. I get paid today. YAY. I wanted to go out antiquing buttttttt we haven't found out yet if we got the house and I don't want to buy stuff for something that isn't even a thing yet. House buying=stress. Well I am really procrastinating on going to this appt. I guess I had better go for now. Like arney saysssssssssss "ill be back"

I had to LOL at this

I had to LOL at this
Originally uploaded by Nannabird.

Made me giggle!!

Anthony with his dad

brett and Anthony
Originally uploaded by Nannabird.

Savannah swinging at what could be our new house! 

April 11, 2005 *Evening

I can honestly say, today was not a good day. Some times of the month I am perfectly Ok..... Then others, like today I am not. I had to go take care of Uncle Ed and his apartment was soooooooooooooooooooo hot, UGH I mean HOT, so that set the ugly stage for panic. I got nervous driving home and then couldn't swallow, felt like my throat was closing up. The closer i got to home, the better I felt, but it's still a pain. I get so angry at myself. I have to go to therapy again on Thursday and its so far away. Sigh. I need to go. There is no way around it. I have been stagnant for 8 years. In the same rutt. 1 step forward 2 steps back. I wanna get out and walk, but when i do my allergies go crazy. Sneezing, eyes get watery and then the rest of the day my eyes turn pink. I love spring yet hate parts of it. My dog is an idiot. He just walked up to me pushed his teeth on my arm. Why, I have no clue. Then he went and got a clean diaper out of the diaper bag to brush his teeth on. Hes a geek. If we get this house, I am going to go adopt Opie a dog. Have him a dogs dog LOL. He gets lonely and i think we should get him a friend. I was supposed to clean today I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I would go clean off a counter, then come sit down. Go and clean off another counter, then come sit back down. LOL my whohle kitchen is almost clean, but its taken the whole damn day to do it. I put really thick pork chops in the crock pot with bbq sauce and they have been cooking all day. I just took the lid off to check on them and they are so tender they fell apart and its almost like eating barbque YAY> I found out some of Krafts bbq sauces are gluten free. I couldn't of been happier!! I also eat Kroger grits ALLLLLLLLLLLLL The time and LOL They were out for 6 weeks. Wellllllllll, i found some and now I have a whole cupboard stocked full of grits. LOL good thing no one looks in my cabinents!

Monday Monday Monday April 11, 2005

Man, it just seems like I have time for nothing anymore. I have so much to do today and I just sat down to take a break. Kids went back to school today and I had to take them, then go grocery shopping and to the bank. Then go for my adjustment ahhhhhhhhhhh it felt good. I have been so dizzy for a couple days, my guess would be allergies and with that ill give a big eye roll @@. Allergies are awful. Its been so hot, which coming directly from winter to 80 degrees, it feels like a putrid oven out there with the humidity. The party went so great, My pictures are at webshots, so if you wanna see just leave me a comment and Ill send you a link. Cheryl Ill get you one i promise!! We went and took pics of our maybe new house last night. We are soooooooooooooooooooo close to getting approved, but i dont wanna get excited yet. Ill wait til we are there signing papers, then and only then i will get excited. Not much else to report right now. I am anxious but holy hell, i am anxious every day. However I slept better last night than I had in years. Mustve been all the weekend activities and yesterday all the cleaning of houses and today i gotta take care of uncle eddie. it never ends, it really really doesn't. Okay i am done eating my lil WW meal, I guess ill go and do some more work.

April 10,2005

I made a couple of posts but the blog wasn't working and i got tired of writing these long posts only to lose them. So I didn't write for a few days. Savannahs birthday party was yesterday and it went perfectly. I am exhausted and my house is now totally trashed, but it went perfect. I don't feel well at all. I am just so irritated that every day something has to fucking hurt. Every single day. No matter if i am coasting along fine something will crop up. Today its my neck. @@ I guess its sore from all the work yesterday but its none the less a pain in my ass because i have a whole house to clean and don't feel like moving. Ill write more details about things after i know this isn't gonna be lost.

Juan 

Th is is all my Loveys at the Easter Egg Hunt! 

a lil afternoon break

Decided to take a lil break. I tackled Savannahs room, i moved all her furniture around and rearranged her room, then vaccuumed under everything and found all her princess shoes and outfits. Her room is packed totally full. We have a birthday party on saturday. UGH what to do what to do. I learned today, that I am probably one of the only humans on this earth that doesn't separate my winter clothes from summer clothes. Now i wanna go buy some tubs to take all my winter stuff and pack it away. Sad thing is I wear all my clothes all year round LOL> buttt it is a good idea for savannah and the boys. After all my accidents consuming gluten and my red blistered face, i have decided to stick to stuff i KNOW is gluten free for 100% sure. So more freaking dinty more beef stew and More freaking vienna sausages. This disease is such a freaking pain in the rear. Before I got diagnosed with this disease I was feeling really really badly. On a daily basis, bad. Couldn't move, stomach problems etc. Welllllllllllll, I was asleep. Sound asleep. I felt something tingly on my arm, The kind of tingle like when a limb is asleep. But it wasn't asleep. All the sudden I hear "I tried to go through kyle but couldn't, you need to go to the doctor" I woke up. Instantly I knew who it was. It was Brett. Alot of people don't think that can happen, let me tell you when it does it is so weird yet peaceful. I got up and then wrote to my mommy group, asking am I being neurotic, or did this happen. Should i go, should i not. Being the hypo that i can be, i decided to go. The dr. wanted to check for something. He said he has done 2 tests for this in the 10 years he had been there. Why me, why that day. A few weeks later the results came back, showing my intestines was damaged, quite badly and that I had every test come back positive for Celiacs disease. Thank you Brett very much. Well.......................Onto my point.......... Last night Kyle was sound asleep and Woke up and said What?? I was like what? He said, did you just hear that? I said noooooooo hear what. He said "someone just whispered my name in my ear" Okay total freak out here. Of course running through my mind is Brett woke him up to get me cause i am gonna die or have a heart attack. I was scared and didn't fall asleep til very late. Brett is around i truly believe. One time Kyle and I were fighting and the hamsters flew off the middle of a table. Just flew off. And another time LOL this one is funny. Its 2 am and we are asleep. I hear Kyle said "what the freak are you doing" I said I am sleeping what the hell are you talking about. He goes on to say "will you quit putting freaking ice on me" I am like i am not doing anything to you. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO He looks down and there is a freaking frog sitting directly on his chest... LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO he screams "its a freaking frog" and throws it and it sticks to the wall. LMAO the rest of the night he was on the internet checking to make sure the frog wasn't poisonous LOL. Funny stuff there LOL i laughed so hard i threw myself into an asthma attack that night LOL Where he came from Ill never know. Okay i have had enough of a break, one more bathroom to tackle along with the outskirts of my room so after the party it wont be too hard to straighten up.

April 6, 2005

Well, only 2 more days til my baby girl turns 3!! She asks every day if its April eif yet. LOL its too cute! We aren't doing much on her birthday, but her big party is the 9th. It's wearing me out before it even gets here. I have been wondering why i am so tired and i went to the dr and they did a blood test to measure my iron, it was 11.7 which is good and normal. Well......... I get a letter in the mail yesterday saying that even though my blood is normal, my iron stores are very low, so i still have to take iron twice a day til the stores build back up. I loathe the iron. It gives me a stomach ache. Oh well. Hopefully after the stores go up i can stop taking it altogether. Thats if my stomach has healed up and i can asorb it again. I have managed to get the kitchen sparkling clean, i worked all day yesterday on 2 rooms, the boys bathroom and the kitchen, I tore them apart. They are done. This morning i had chiro so i went there, then came home and scrubbed the living room, It looks great!I got all the fans finished. The boys are dusting and cleaning their room. I dusted savannahs room and have to get it cleaned up and then theres my room which i can't do til after the party because we have soooooooooooooooooooooooo much party stuff in there. Its filled to the rim with brim ;) speaking of coffee, Or Coke LOL i am stuck on the lime in the coke you nut,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i sing that over n over again. EEK everytime i do an entry theres a rinse cycle brb. bet ya didn't even know i was gone lol. my eye is twitching , what the hell is with that?? Okay i really really need to be productive. Although i am exhausted, i really really need to finish my house. I feel so much better when my house is clean. So I must must press on. Okay, wish me luck and pray i dont fall over because this time change has done me in and i am tired. PS Amazing race is sooooooooooooooooo good, i love rob and amber!! American idol Nadia was awesome, so was constatine YAY i always think of ovaltine when i say his name LOL Be sure to drink your constatine

April 4, 2005

It was such a long weekend. But it went by so quickly. Seems anymore on the weekend we just run and run and run. No one understands my want for just wanting to stay home and not leave for a week. Springbreak started, but I have to get ready to go to the grocery store. I need to go because i am tired of eating tacquitos. But i am having anxiety issues. I don't feel well, my chest wall is hurting and i just dont feel good. Today is one of those days where its easier to have a panic attack than others. So that leaves me in the house. I guess I just need to get up and do it but then i have to get ready, get savannah ready (who is now fully potty trained) and then drive out to the store then carry and put away the groceries.
I wouldnt be so reluctant to go if i wasnt so busy all weekend. This is how my weekend went. We wake up saturday to get stuff for savannahs party. We go to everythings a dollar, then to big lots, then we go to super walmart where we spend 3 hrs and 200 dollars and an hour of t hat 3 hrs in line. YES in line. It was crazy that day. Crazy! We go to take Darth Tater to kyles BIL and then they want to keep savannah for the night, okay, they keep her. We get in the car, come home to unload the groceries and then go back out to take care of uncle eddie. Not to mention we also went to factory card party outlet somewhere in that day. Then by the time we are done and home its like 9:30 at night we set our clocks back and go to sleep. Wake up sunday do a little cleaning around here, then get baths and then leave to my moms so i can clean her house. She wanted her extra bathroom done so i had to do extra work and ugh i was just exhausted. Get moms done, then proceed to my aunt sues to clean. She says she has about an hours worth of work for me. LOLLLLLLLLLLL It took 5 hrs to clean her house. She has all wooden floors and getting the pet hair off of them in a chore, she has 2 bathrooms to clean also and just blllllllllahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Kyle hung curtain rods and i also decorated her kitchen. Okay so i am finally finished cleaning her house, next stop uncle eddies where i also have to clean. Ed lives on the 3rd floor, yes the 3rd, my legs ached as i trudged up. I g ave him his food and then cleaned and mopped and cleaned his bathrooms. If i never see another bathroom again it will be too soon. I have 2 of my own to clean. After we finished eds we drove home where i had to take a bath, I Just did not want to get in the tub. Then i lay in the tub and listen to the boys (we have alex for spring break) they were up til 2:30 and i woke up at 4 because my poor girl had to pee and we had her in a zipper footie sleeper and in her sleep she woke up had to pee and couldnt get it off, so we rescued her. You know some parents can't wait til their kids are at the babysitters or they get a free night. When savannah was gone, all i could do was just wish she were home. I don't get much quiet at all, but Id rather hear her screaming and talking and playing then nothing. Same when the boys leave. Im iss them. I enjoy my kids with me. OKay i have procrastinated enough. I must get my butt up and go to the store. Ill be back later............

April 1st, afternoon

Well I have been gone most of the day. It was nice to get out, but I really didn't go anywhere i needed to go. Juan found the magician hats at Factory card outlet, it was a true blessing. I really really needed them!! I didn't get enough, so i have to go back and get more. I bought 10 sigh. There are about 14 boys and about 13 girls. too many to keep up with. About 75 people in all should come, we invited 90 something but people don't RSVP, i have had to call most of them. I am starving today, seems like i just keep eating, my stomach hurts but i keep on eating. I am tired. I wanted to go to the mall today but it was too big of a project for me to take on with anxiety today. People who can just walk in a mall and enjoy it, just don't know what its like to not be able to go in there. I wanna go but its too far to the exits. I hate this. I really really do. I have a goal to get to the big mall in the East end with the Disney store. But i just can't go. Too much freeway driving and too much crowds and its too overwhelming. Too much noise, not knowing the layout :( I really really need to look into getting medicated. I really really do. Granted, i am not housebound like before, but I still can't do alof of the things that i want to do. I am sad over the pope being so close to death. what got me the most was him wanting to read to him a reading from the hours, the third hour. It makes me sad because he probably read that for comfort, he is probably sad, he was wanting to know what jesus did in his last hours. It just breaks my heart. Poor man. God bless him.
I dunno what we are doing tonight. My guess would be going to the store since i am eating carmel corn for dinner, Is it carmel or caramel, dern english and all its different meanings. Knew new, sea see, tea tee, i could go on and on and on but I wont. Well, savannah is awake and extremely cranky so i guess thats my cue to exit stage left.

April 1, 2005

April Fools Day!! YAY and Pay Day!! I have to go to Chiro in a few then off to get my baby girl a birthday dress! I have a few more things to buy. I hate having to spend money. No one RSVPed as usual so I have to call to see if they are coming. Its really a PITA. If I dont hear by Wednesday from a few then i won't buy them the expensive party favors. I wrote on there in big big Black letters I NEED TO KNOW FOR PARTY FAVORS. Irritating. I also have to go order savannahs balloons. Its Princess and the Pauper Themed, but since we have just as many boys i am doing magician stuff for them. I have to go downtown to caufields novelty BROUHAHA its an awesome awesome store!!!! Just so much stuff and junk and stuff and junk and stuff and junk. I love junk stuff! Okay i guess i had better get going, I am still in Jammies!! So are the girls and my dog needs to be walked!! ill write later.