Oof

It's Halloween, a day you are supposed to be scared. I say no thank you. I am still shaking from my nice little experience today. I had a Dr. appt today to follow up with getting my anemia results. That was a little unusal because I have been anemic off and on since the start of my Celiacs disease.
I go in, sit wait...Go back. He starts telling me my iron was really low. Lowest it's ever been. Was at 9 and 12 is normal. Usually has never gone below 10. He tells me something doesn't match in my bloodwork, not disease wise but otherwise.
So he orders heavy metal testing and a count of all my vitamins and minerals. Sounds easy enough right??

Okay, he tells bonita to wait before starting. Nurse comes in with juice and a banana. I'm thinking okay it's lunch time. She pulls 7 large tubes out of this rack. I think oh crap.

She starts, I never ever have had any problems with bloodwork. Doesn't bother me in the least. Nurse across from me, starts wetting paper towels and then opens the juice. Both are watching my face like a hawk. Then by 4th tube I started feeling very, very strange. The nurse comes over and starts holding my head and putting towels on me and trying to get me to drink juice. The room turns blue and I sit there and am thinking the the hell is going on. Then I hear them start hollering "Dianna Breathe, Dianna Breathe" I don't know what happened for a second, but I got my wits about me and I have hands all over me and hearing "Dianna breathe" over and over. Good grief. They got finished, made me drink this awful peach stuff, eat a banana. They wouldn't let me leave. Finally after 20 or so minutes, they escorted me out to my car. Do not know what the Sam hell they did, but they better never do that again. I have blood work all the time, never that many tubes and that large of tubes, but I don't have a problem with it.

THe bad part was, Savannah was home sick today and was with me. She was really, really scared. I feel extremely weak now. oof. Just weak. I had no clue my iron was that low. I could kick myself. He tripled the dosage now, so avoiding a little stomach ache has now just turned into, I'm forced to take the stomach ache and a worse one. Lesson Learned.

Happy Halloween. OOf.
Love
D

An explanation

Lately, I just haven't felt like myself. I know stress is way up there, but the dizziness comes and goes, I'm exhausted and cranky all the time. Some days I feel like I can't move. 3 weeks later I get my blood test results back and I am back to being very anemic. I do not know for the life of me, why I do not suffer through the stomach ache and take the iron.
I admit I was not taking it. It gives me a horrible stomach ache for about 5 hrs after taking it. So, now I am paying for it. Will take 10 full days of taking it daily for me to feel any sort of relief. He wants me to come in, in the morning for more blood work. I'm sure it's to see if my actual iron stores are low and if my B12 and other vitamins are low. Also anemia can make you dizzy. I really need to learn my lesson and just take the pills daily.
But, it is a relief to know why I'm so cranky and tired.
Savannah is home sick again today. Fever.
I didn't sleep at all last night. Finally fell asleep about 3:30 a.m.. I laid down and 1 and then struggled all night.
Got up at 10, that was nice. Cooked all morning. Made a huge pot of cabbage, candied yams, sweet peas. :P Nice vegan stuff LOL
Was very good and made me want turkey.
I'm going to go take a nap.
Happy Tuesday
Be blessed everyone
Love,
D

Monday

I have the Monday Blues......I couldn't sleep last night at all. I tossed and turned all night long. I'm extremely stressed.
Before I had mentioned , I used to play Toon Town as a relief, to get away from real life. Anymore that's become a dog and pony show for drama and I can't even go there. I have been trying to cut way back and have done really, really well.... But, I have nothing to do. Nothing. I'm bored.
Savannah woke up screaming this morning, all morning. Had a fever. Took her back to the Dr...Her eardrum, still hasn't healed from rupturing and it has a lot of fluid on it. He gave her some pain medication and said that he wants to watch it.
Sigh.
I am so stressed out from all directions, I'm just sad. I feel lost. Absolutely and totally lost. It's like I want to go home, but I don't know where that is. All through my life I have felt lost. Like spots are empty and nothing fills them ever.
Oh well, Gonna go lay with Savannah and take a nap.
Happy Monday.
D

Sunday

Happy Sunday. Busy here. Our whole entire living room and kitchen are taken apart. Kids are gone, I'm throwing stuff away left and right. I hate clutter, I hate dust. My house is never really dirty, but just needs to be picked up, most of it clutter. So away in the trash it goes!

My asthma is acting up very badly because I am stirring up all sorts of stuff. Im glad to be getting it done though.

Here are some pics of what I did :) I put couch out on the sun porch. No one ever sits there, we are all never together in the same room. I'm really, really trying to downsize all my stuff. Got stuff packed up in boxes and tubs!! :) YAY! I had to bring my plants in from the sun porch also because the first frost came last night.







Happy Sunday

D

Happy Saturday

I intended on sleeping in early, but some strange dreams woke me up. Anyone ever feel like something sitting on them and you can't get up? Like half awake and half asleep and you are trying to get up. I don't like it.

Spent the whole day at zoo yesterday. Got some really good pics, if you wanna looky loo here's a link Zoo Pics

Nothing much going on really, same ole, same ole.

Hope all you guys have a terrific weekend!!

Be safe

D

My Hoopty's Rollin!!

When I was 16 or so, my dad got me a really nice Escort. I used to love driving that car, the interior still smelled new, it had a cassette player, all the bells and whistles for a car of that time period. I don't know what happened or how things transpired and at this point in my life they really do not matter, but the car was taken away from me. I probably wasn't paying the insurance on it or something. Who knows...........My dad gave me another car. Bessie. Bessie was the ugliest, grungiest, most horrible car I had ever owned in my whole entire life. The pic above does not do Bessie justice. Being sad and embarassed with Bessie at the time, I never truly noticed how much happiness and joy she brought me. Bessie was a very old, root beer/ diarrhea colored Chevette. GASP!!! That's almost worse than a Pinto.

Okay harmless enough, I was 18, had a baby, was in Cosmetology school. Who needed a nice car? Right?

At first the car ran, it only played static on the radio and it wouldn't turn off. You had to listen to static.........No antenna.......I was embarrassed driving it at that point. Owoooooo! Something happened, not sure exactly what but the windshield wipers turned on and ran continuously. back forth back forth. Raining or not, back forth, back forth. Okay, so still a little embarrassed, driving ugly car, static playing, windshield wipers going back forth, back forth. No problem right?

Brett was still alive at this point and where he had to have his thigh bone removed because of the cancer (had bone replacement), he could not bend his leg. This means that in order to get into the car he had to lift himself up on the door and kind of hop in. All the wear and tear on the door was too much for old Bessie and then the door wouldn't latch properly. What's this?? What does that mean? If I turned too far to the right, the door would fly open. Owoooo!! Okay, that's funny. Still embarrassed. You think it's bad so far, just wait.........One day I was driving along, I needed some gas. Oh what's this, gas station on the left. I turn and what's this??? The horn started malfunctioning. How you ask? Well lets just say, when I turned too far to the left, the horn would turn on and not turn off til the car was turned off.....So here I was driving down the road, windshield wipers on, static on, ugly car and horn blasting. My mom would always say she knew when I was coming cause she could hear the horn. I had to make a left hand turn to get on our street. Kentucky people at their finest!!

At Cosmetology school, the girls there totally rocked and always teased me about hearing me coming and my windshield wipers. It didn't bother me when they teased me at all because, its pretty funny. One day, I'm turning left on a sunny day, windshield wipers on, horn going and they are lined up out front of the school waiting for me. I'm thinking Oh God! What are they going to do? They run over to my car as I'm pulling in, like a pit crew, towels in hand like they are wiping it off, Susan had the door opening and closing it til it latched. I was laughing so hard, I was almost crying. Diana had a radio and brought it out. They were not making fun of me at all..........Brett was probably 2 or 3 days away from dying, I wasn't going to come in and they called me constantly telling me to come in. 50 girls cared that much about me, to bring me in, in my Hoopty. After I stopped laughing, I got out and each one of them came over one by one and hugged me. We all went from laughing to crying. But for those 20 minutes, I wasn't picturing my boyfriend laying in bed dying. This car I hated so much, served its purpose. It brought me laughter and smiles and showed me I was cared about.


Time rolls on...


Brett had passed away.........some 5 mos later, I still had my hoopty. Horn still on, static still playing, windshield wipers blew a fuse and were no longer on. One day it started raining and I couldn't see. So what did I have to do????????? I had to roll down my window and manually move them back and forth so I could get the rest of the way home. In a Chevette, that can be done. So fuse replaced, blah, blah, blah..........wipers back on (better to have them, than not) New problem arises in the Chevette, the carburetor malfunctions............So how is this fixed????? My dad showed me a neat trick to opening the hood, unscrewing the lid off and putting a pencil jammed in there to hold it open while you go and start it!! YAY!!! Okay, so I get asked on a date by a guy in Ft. Knox. He has no car, OF COURSE HE HAS NO CAR!!!!!!!!!!! So I have to drive this thing down there to Ft. Knox, hot soldier guys all over. Oh geez. I pull up at the barracks, Rich knew the problem already and was waiting outside with all his buddies. My face was beet red. Yikes!

I pull up laughing, I mean really what else can you do but laugh at that point? His buddies come over, tell me to get out of the car. Rich and his buddies are all tank mechanics. Instead of going on a date, he told me he was going to see if he could get my car somewhat fixed. Was a very sweet gesture. So 6 army guys are out there taking my car apart and trying to fix it. They ask me to get in it........ So I do.... what do they do???? They pick up the car with me in it and start walking to the dumpster with it. A guy named Tom came over to the window with some slip of paper and said "Ma'am I hate to tell you this but your car is royally F**&^*^" I just sat there rolling. He said he had never seen anything like it. So they gave me an official army pencil, put it in my sun visor.........We opened the hood, penciled the carburetor, got in, made the horn go on purpose, windshield wipers on, Rich hanging onto the door and went and rode up and down Dixie Hwy hooping it up!! I had 2 guys in the hatchback with it open! We went and got some beer.....went back to their barracks and laughed about my car til wee hours in the night.

The day the hoopty died..........Not sure what happened, but the hoopty finally died. Mom and I lived in the house on Mckinley with the big hill driveway............It was parked at an angle when it died, momma wanted it pushed up to the top of the hill. How do we do this???? We push it!! Anthony was only 1 and in the house. She gets the bright idea that he can not be left alone in the house. He would be safer in the car. Good call MOM!!!! So wee little Anthony in the car, 2 weak women trying to push this car up the hill..........what happens????? The car goes rolling down the hill, Anthony inside. My mother freezes in fear and I take off running down the hill and catch the car and save the day! She froze in panic, I reacted. LOL, she freaked out!!!!

The car died and I moved on to a Bitchin Camaro.................But today I'm thankful for the hoopty. It truly was a good time in my life. I missed her after she died.

RIP Bessie.............

Music

Music, some people either get it or they don't. I know for the past 2 years of me blogging, you have heard me talk about music over and over. Anyone who knows me well, knows my love for music. I do not watch TV. Since the tornados last week, I have not even turned it on once. It does nothing for me.
I have music playing all day. The whole day. Is it the words, instruments? I'm not sure, but I can sit and listen to piano,guitar, violin and hear someones happiness, pain, love. Whatever instrument.

Gonna give you a little piece of Dianna here......One song that can make me cry almost every time I hear it is Tchaikovsky None but the lonely heart. When I wake up in the middle of the nights with my crying, that song is exactly how I feel. To be able to convey such feelings through music, much the same way an artist conveys through painting....it amazes me.

I know people have their own creative outlets of expression. Mine used to be through drawing and painting, but for some different reasons that isn't my outlet anymore. Now it's through pictures. I wish I had the ability to play music to convey my feelings that way. But for now, I just enjoy the God given talent of others.

Okay girlies...........Dizies Tag for the day

What's your top 5 favorite songs?

Did you ever make a mix tape for your guys or gals?

What is your creative outlet?
I know my melzies already but the others don't :)

What is one thing in your life that moves you?

I just answered most of mine but my top 5 favorite songs are (these are the top 5s of all time, my song favs change alot, but these are ones that speak to me and always in my playlist).......

A Perfect Circle - Three Libras
Tchaikovsky- None but the lonely heart
Beethoven- Moonlight Sonata
Bryan Adams - When you Love Someone
Elton John- I believe in Love

Did I make mix tapes OMG you bet I did!!!! Except mine were old skate punk LOL Owoooooooo!! I'm sure I had some REO Speedwagon in there somewhere.
I remember when I was a young girl LOL not that I'm old by any means, but me and my cousin Lisa would dance and sing and she would always play Hall and Oats LOL she had big posters of them up LOL. Then my old neighbors used to play the Police for us and we had tennis racket guitars. Don't stand so, don't stand so, don't stand so close to me!!

Here is totally hot guy on violin. It's hard to cry when such a beautiful man is on violin. Good Grief makes me sweat a little! The words that you can't read says "I'm going to Diannas house for a visit" Shoooo, I'd faint!


Happy Thursday! no trash day!
D

It's Wednesday, Trash day.

That's about as exciting as it is here today. It has rained for days now. There's no sunshine at all. My pond is almost so full that my fish may be swimming on my porch soon. Owoooooooo! I dunno when it is supposed to stop. I am totally exhausted.
What do your eyes say about you? Do any of you look into peoples eyes? Kyle used to tell me that when I am happy, my eyes light up and shine so bright. Yesterday, I was sitting at the table and I looked up and he said, "Your eyes say you have been up to something and that you are happy" I had probably cried for 7 hrs straight yesterday. So maybe they were just shiny from crying. Or maybe my eyes lie. I was anything but happy. I dunno. I got to thinking about eyes and how really its the first thing I notice on someone. People have kind eyes, people have evil eyes. I do believe they are like looking into someones soul. The dream I had about the ghost the one time. His eyes were bluer and clearer than any color that you could see on earth.
What do eyes say to you?
Annissa I know you are deep into stuff like that. like I am, do you look at eyes? Mel, Mandy?? Eyes or teeth? LOL :P
Happy Wednesday, Happy trash day for me.
Beep, Beep, Beep... I hear them out front now.

Owoooooooooo What did I do this Sunday???

OOf!! I went to bed really early and got up early :) been cleaning and Savannah has asked me over and over again to cut her hair. It is our biggest morning battle, the ends are dead, tangles galore. I discussed it with Kyle, he totally didn't want it cut, but she did. I told him while it looks cute long, it's dead hair and it really should be cut. It will grow. Soooooooooooooo........he agreed, and this morning everyone in the house cept Juan got haircuts!! Juan has been eating gluten and has a serious attitude problem, which I do not care to discuss right now. Anywhooooo Here's Savannah with a mouth full of Cocoa Pebbles and her new hair :) It looks so adorable and we can brush it with no hassle or crying.

Saturday

Not much happening today. Haven't felt well all day. Headache and dizzys are worse today. Took a few naps and a few baths. Juans got bad attitude today, bad. I think he's been sneaking gluten. Makes a big difference. Nothing else going on. I'm going to bed in a few. Been one of those days where I can make no one happy, so I'm just gonna sleep.

Happy Sturday.

Thursday

This week has flown by........Owoooooo!
Went to the Dr. yesterday, he said I have a virus that has been spreading around called Labrynthitis........It's a virus that attacks the inner ear causing severe vertigo. Okay, sounds innocent enough, explains alot. Well, the bad news is, is that it takes 8 or more weeks to have the dizziness subside. He also told me that it could permanently damage the inner ear and you may always have trouble with vertigo. Not something I wanted to hear, but it is getting better. Nothing was as bad as that first attack and like with anything else, I have easy times and hard times with it.
Slept up in Savannahs room last night. Allergies were almost 10 fold improvement, so I think that is my new bedroom. Hard sleeping in a twin bed wtih 2 dogs. They love me though :)
It's almost Halloween :) It's raining.......First frost time almost here. Have a photoshoot coming up. Pray the dizzys are gone enough for me to go through with it.
That's really about it :)
It's morning time and it's my morning morning drill, trying to get Savannah ready for school. I thought this morning would be easy because it was field trip day. I was wrong. Took me 20 min to get her hair braided and has taken me 40 to get her dressed. Now it's the shoe battle. I can't explain to her enough that it's raining, rain and dirt =mud which will ruin good shoes.

Have a Happy Non-Spinning Thursday

Oh what a night......

Not late December back in 63........Savannah is sick yet again. Cold, runny eyes.........Still on antibiotics which is good. I'm extremely irritated she is sick again. I got a bad headache the other day, my dizzys came back........ I feel like I'm in a weird bubble and very dizzy. So last night I was so scared from being so dizzy, Kyle was up with a severe migraine..........It was crazy last night. I don't think either of us slept much at all. I feel like I am getting a cold as well. Nose is stopped up and my eyes feel heavy. If I had the patience to homeschool, I think I would.
Just an update. Nothing has changed. I go to Dr. Tomorrow then the vertigo Dr on the 29th. It seems like it's going by so slow. I want this GONE!
Happy Tuesday

Tagged by Melzie

I was tagged by Melzie and this is a hard one....... Owooooo!

The rules of this are:

1. Link the person who has tagged you.
2. Tell seven true things about yourself.
3. Tag seven new people.
4. Leave a message with the person you have tagged so they know about it. I am supposed to name seven truths about myself............. and tag seven new people.


* I am very insecure in all areas in my life.

* I love new boxes of Kleenexs and Decorated paper towels

* Music is the heart of who I am. I have a song for everything, a song for everyone and it is something that I relate to and can express through music, what I can't express through words.

* I want to learn to play the piano

* I rarely let anyone totally in......Always keep them at a distance. Kyle knows this one quite well. Protection mechanism I guess.

* I am excellent at keeping secrets. I have some I have never ever told anyone for 15 years or more :)

* I am one of the best friends anyone could have. I wish I had myself as a neighbor LOL :P I am fun, I have a good time. I am loyal. I give good advice most of the time. I totally admit when I am wrong and I love my friends deeply. Would do anything I Could for them and they all know that.

Tagging 7 people Sheesh mel you hogged anyone who would do it LOL!!

My 7 people are any 7 who stop by here and want to do this. If you do be sure to leave me a comment so I can come read what you wrote! :) Gonna add Melzies other tag to the bottom of this one. I have been a bit lame on doing them. So here's number 2

THE POWER OF 2
Melzie tagged me for this one...

Two Names You Go By:
1. Dianna
2. Dizie Wizie - Thanks to my Melzie Welzie

Two Things you are wearing right now:
1. Tshirt
2. Underwear

Two Things you would want (or have) in a relationship:
1. Love
2. Laughter

Two Things you like to do:
1. Write
2. Photography

Two Things you want very badly at this moment:
1. Ice
2. about 1000 bucks just to blow on clothes and shoes

Two Things you did last night:
1. Played Toontown
2. Cried alot

Two Things you ate today:
1. Haven't eaten yet
2. water

Two People you spoke last to:
1. Mare
2. Gay

Two Things you're doing tomorrow:
1. Working for a couple of hours
2. Probably cleaning at some point

Two Longest car rides:
1. From KY to San Antonio
2. From KY to NYC


Two Favorite holidays:
1. Halloween
2. Christmas

Two Favorite beverages:
1. Water
2. Occasionally sprite or 7 up

Two Jobs I have had in my life:
1. Hairdresser
2. Photographer

Two Movies I would watch over and over:
1. Bridges of Madison County
2. Blades of Glory

Two Places I have lived:
1. San Antonio TX
2. Alexandria VA


Two of My Favorite foods:
1. Broccoli
2. Cabbage

Two Places I'd rather be right now:
1. Ocean, don't care where, just at an ocean
2. Back in bed sleeping

Two People I think will do this meme:
1. Mel
2. Mandy

Happy Sunday!

Saturday Where to start?

This is going to be long. This is going to be a long vent. If you are offended by any of it, I suggest you turn back and stop reading here.
Today was my free day. I looked forward to it all week. Kyle was taking the kids and going to spend the day down in Bowling Green. I am way behind on my job and I was going to use today to catch up and finish.
Fridays, I have severe anxiety. I cannot help that I do. Every Friday for 3 weeks I have severe dizziness and shakiness and I have panic attacks. The sad part is, is because everyone is going to be home. Saturdays, Kyle and I fight, Kyle and Anthony argue and Savannah cries. This morning, I got to sleep in some. Kyle got up went to store and got home, I was at the table doing my work and almost as if it dropped out of the sky.........Arguing. I do NOT want to argue. So Savannah starts getting in the middle of us arguing. Hearing all these things that we are saying to each other which are not nice. She hears us talking about which one of us moves out, which one of this does this or that. This cannot be healthy for anyone. I tell Kyle this needs to stop NOW, and of course I go on to say......Dollars to doughnuts Juan is upstairs hearing all of this, his anxiety is going to flair and he will not go on this trip. Kyle goes to get him up...........He is curled up under a blanket and will not get up to go on trip.
Kyle and Anthony start arguing........Savannah is whining. I am at my wits end. Completely and totally at my wits end. I won't go into detail at the extent of Kyles and my problems on my blog. It's not fair to those who do not know the whole situation. Those who need to know what's going on. Know.
I tried to explain to Kyle this morning that all of this is not fair. NONE OF IT is fair. This is hurting the kids. Savannah will NOT leave us alone for 2 seconds and I honestly feel it's because everytime she walks away, Kyle and I try to discuss what's going on and it starts arguing. That is too much for a 5 year old girl to take on her shoulders. She should be enjoying her life, not playing peacemaker for her mom and dad. Juan is severely anxious and insecure.....I am angry. I am so angry sometimes that I feel like taking a sledge hammer and just busting something up. I am extremely pissed at Brett for dying and leaving me to raise a child alone. I'm extremely pissed at Bretts family for NEVER EVER offering to help me out. They ALL just dropped off the face of the earth and ditched him. How hard is it to call somebody? How hard is it to pick up a F*cking phone and say at least how are you? Put your own selfish needs aside and think of him. Since Brett never worked Anthony didn't get a dime of social security. I have struggled since I was 18 years old to raise him with the only help coming from my mother, my father, Juan and Kyle. It wasn't even Juans and Kyles responsibility to help with him. You all should've at least offered to help some way. But no. I hope you are happy with those decisions. Then we move on to Juan.........Oh Geez he has been the hardest of all my kids to raise. I am worn out and can not even delve into how tired I am of this situation. I am angry at him for not going......I am angry that every day it's a struggle with im. I am tired and I need a break.
Savannah does not leave my side. She will not play in her room....she will not play outside........she has to sit constantly in between me and Kyle. That is so sad it's unreal. Kyle and I do not sleep together. We do not eat together. We do not speak unless it's to argue and in which case the kids are right there.
I am the only person in this house with a level head who is realistic about this whole situation and how bad it is here. I think that drastic changes need to be made, no matter who feels what. I think our own personal feelings to be set aside and think about the kids.
I myself need a break. I need to be removed from all of this and I need help. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to fix any of this and most importantly I don't know how to repair the damage that it is doing to the kids. So I am asking for help. I am admitting to the fullest extent that I need advice. I need help. I will add do not say in your advice that Kyle and I need to quit arguing, because I totally know this already and we have tried and it's impossible. So outside of that lay it on me what anyone has to offer. I am all ears. If you don't want to comment here, email me. Call me. Take me away.........

Happy Saturday.

What the Sam hills going on here?

Okay........ Tuesday I had to work all day, come home do my letter writing thing. I figured I earned some internet time. I get on computer for just a few minutes. Maybe 30 or so and the whole thing crashes. So for 2 days I basically have no computer. I clean the house, work some. I start enjoying the no stress from not having the internet. No drama. Last night I really start missing it. Got really frustrated etc. So, I wake up this morning Kyle tells me computer is fixed. I get Savannah ready for school and sit down to check my email.....Got a couple of messages sent out, the flickr, flickr.........A car hit a Telephone pole and our electricity went out block wide. I was like okay.......today is going to be bad like yesterday. With no electricity, there is nothing to do. I couldn't do my work because I can't see to get the right papers. I can't clean cause it's not really dirty. I mulled over taking a nice long bath. There's no windows in there so I go and grab me some candles. I get settled in the tub, lay back and close my eyes. At this point, I feel every inch of tension drain right away. I'm laying there to the point of where you are almost asleep but not quite.....Ahhhhhhhh.......Don't you freaking know the power came back on, Loud fans, bright lights and about scared the living daylights out of me. Scared me to death. So I get mad and just get out of the tub. Decide to go cook. I get my cabbage all cut up. Cabbage is my favorite and I have been wanting some forever. So....... it's cooking smelling great. I get out the sausage, cut it up and add it.....It was expired! We just got it, it was expired from July. I was so mad, that is ruined, lunch gone. I sign on to the computer and get Message after message of drama that happened while I was away and people couldn't wait to tell me! Sad thing is some of it hurts my feelings. Me n the dogs walked a mile. My day has gone bad. I should stay in the house today. Wizard of Oz line sums it all up "I'd turn back if I were you"
Happy Thursday, glad to be back online I think.

What the ?????????

So it's about 5 am....... I am blissfully sleeping my wee little heart out. Me and Savannah were in basement. Kyle was upstairs......Get the vision? Okay, So I feel someone start pressing on my chest almost like they are trying to bounce me on the bed. I get my wits about me think, am I dying, someone doing CPR On me??? I open my eyes and there stands Kyle in my face and let me quote this exactly "Dianna, don't get up, Someones on the back porch, I think they are taking things"
Okay, it's always good to wake up a panic attacker like that! So, I say "What" he said he had called the cops, he could hear someone on the back porch and sounds like they were into stuff. For those of you who don't know, we have that big Florida room thats also a dining room, sun porch type deal.
I had let the dogs out late and the acorns pounding on the roof scared me and I ran in and forgot to lock the door. Owooooo. So I am laying there and Kyle goes to sit down and I said ummmmmmmmmmmm Boys are 2 floors up and I know I'm not going up there. So he creeps 1 by 1 up the steps.
Don't you know it took the cops over 10 minutes to get here. That is part of the house, I mean, it wouldn't take much to get into our main house.
So, the cops looked around for awhile and Kyle said it didn't look like anything was missing. But the thought of someone being in my house, I feel kinda violated.
I'm skeered to go out there.
Geez, I can laugh it off a bit now at the thinking someone was doing CPR on me and the way I was woken up.
Then I got on Kyle, I wasn't planning on waking up and going upstairs, why'd you wake me up. He was like, well would you of rather of me not told you? That's a hard question for sure. Need to make a mental note to deeply think that if next time a burglar is in my home, do I want to be woken up? What about you guys, what would you do? You know, if my life was drama free, I don't know what I would do. Sure wish it would come on!
Savannahs feeling much, much better. She said she can't hear out of that ear. That has me concerned but from what I understand when your drum ruptures you do lose hearing for awhile. :( It's bugging her, she has asked me several times If I could turn her ear back on. Okay..... That's my drama at 6:30, I wanna go back, back, back to bed again. Whoaaa, whoaaaaaa I gotta gooooooo back to bed!!!! Again!
I'll take a rain check on the CPR and burglars!

Happy Tuesday

Sunday

Happy Sunday Morning. Savannah is doing some better I guess. She didn't scream alot like she did Friday night. She only woke up screaming a couple times. She is still running a fever. She is also still asleep.
Not much else to write about.
We haven't been able to go out of the house on a weekend since school started. I'm hoping that I can take her to the zoo next weekend. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Good freaking Grief

Every Saturday since August Savannah has been sick. Don't you know that at 1:30 am last night she woke up with a blood curdling scream and I instantly recognized it....... Ear pain. Gave her some motrin, she screamed and screamed til she fell asleep. Again at 3 am blood curdling scream. Gave her some tylenol and she cried back to sleep. Then she woke up again an hour ago screaming. She has a Dr appt at 10:10. As a parent there is nothing more frustrating than having your child scream in pain and there is absolutely nothing you can do to help it. I have held her basically all night. Rocked her, put a warm towel on my chest and have her lay on it. Nothing eases ear pain. I'm about in tears because I know it hurts her so bad and I can't help her. She just lays there and whimpers. I'm sad. The wait til the Dr appt is going to be long. :( Motrin and Tylenol aren't helping. I don't know what to do. Kyle and I already crossed nice paths already this morning. I can't deal with arguing today on top of the other stufff.
You know I pray alot for answers and I pray alot for help and nothing gets better, things just only get worse. How do you get answers out of things getting worse? Mel you are my spiritual guru........How do you get your answers on what to do?
I don't need to turn over a new leaf, I need to turn over a whole tree. Quickly.
I will update you guys on my baby girl, but I know it is an ear infection. She had so many as a baby, thats a scream one doesn't forget.
So Linney and Jay make a mental note that if baby Evangeline screams and you can't console her, it's probably her ears. I hope she never ever gets to the ear infection point. It's a long road.

Happy Saturday. Pray for my sweet lil angel.

** a lil update....... well we took her to the Dr and he looked in her ear and her right ear drum was very infected and bulging. I asked him for the pain drops and he said that the drops would cause it to rupture because it was so badly infected. So she screams most of the way home. Kyle and I are into a heated discussion that didn't lead anywhere nicely.........More screaming, more crying. We get home and she is literally screaming and kicking begging for us to make it stop. I was beyond frustrated. I had to get out of the house, took a nice long walk. Came home and she started really screaming again, worse. Then she said her ear felt wet and I am thinking her ear drum busted. That really is the worst pain I have ever seen her in. Never have I seen her be uncomfortable to that extent. Heartwrenching. I am so exhausted that I could just go to sleep here at the computer. I'm hoping that she is able to sleep. Being up all night is not an easy task.
Thanks for your prayers and for asking how she is.
Love
Dianna

Friends

I have a friend we will call her Melzie :) She has a monologue. I don't know exactly what I did in this life to deserve her, but I am sure glad that I have her.
She knows that I am having major troubles in my life. She always offers a smile for me, an ear for me a whoagrl for me.
She is always sending me cards in the mail, always so sweet and just to let me know she is thinking of me and cares about me.
Today I was having a rough day, weekends are very tough for me. I go to my mailbox and of course there's yet another card from her.
I got all misty eyed and I truly again ask what did I ever do in life to deserve her?
She treats me with kindness, compassion and respect and I have no doubts at all in my head that she loves me.
I don't find that very often. I just can't understand why God takes all these people I Love and places them so far away.
I Hope to see you again soon Melody. You are truly my best friend and I have nothing but total love for you.
I love you very much!

Happy Ummmmmmm Thursday!

I can't believe it's Thursday already! Juan has went to school all this week :) Things are back to normal. I know they can easily change, so I'll take it one day at a time, but YAY!
Opie is very ill. He's at the vets this morning. :( He wouldn't get up off the couch and those of you who come to my house, know that he is extremely wild!
:( so that stinks. Worried about him. Claire seems to be healed up.
Ummmmmmm Savannah is not sick this week. I'm not sick this week. Wait! Let me go outside to make sure sky is not falling down LOL
Watched Ghost Hunters last night and OMG those EVPs were amazing!!!!! They actually made my hair stand on end! I loveeeee that show! I get a tiny bit freaked watching it at night, but scares like that are sometimes good. I am still thinking Owooooo over those EVPs! Steve looked hot as always. ::Swoon:: He will always be my top celebrity crush. Sorry Sawyer. Sawyer, who's that? LOST hasn't been on in so long I forgot what he looked like. It's sad that in the time that show took hiatus I could've had a full term pregnancy. That's nuts!
Hmmm what else........Nothing I suppose. Going to my moms this morning, pay hommage to the pool that is all closed up. Such a sad sight from her back window.
I vote next year the whole family gets into bikinis and we really have a pool party. I would of course be taking all the pics :P We can do this!!! LOL
I can see all my aunts cringing right now!!
So, I'm off, I'll update you on the little furry love of my life when he gets home. He's dehydrated :(
Have a Happy Thursday, be safe, wear seatbelts and remember that only YOU can prevent forest fires.
XO XO to all.

GRRRRRR to Frito Lay

I hate this Celiacs thing. For 2 weeks now, I have been feeling sick to my stomach and my face has a rash on one side. Usually that's a sign of Gluten, but I haven't been eating anything different. Same stuff I have been eating for years.
I have been feeling weak and achey like I did when I first got this disease.
Sooooooooo I decided to recomb over my diet.
I have been eating Barbeque Chips for 3 years. Same chips and I knew they were gluten free.
Well..................3 mos ago they changed the recipe and now add Barley flour. That explains a WHOLE, WHOLE Lot. The funny thing is they don't list gluten on their package and by law now they have too. Barley contains gluten and they should be placing that on their packaging. So now it will take 6 mos for my stomach to heal, my rash on my face to go away and to get straightened out.
You know, you can't trust anything anymore. Nothing at all. Good Grief

Oh boy, it's Monday alright

Was so hectic here this morning. Claire is still sick, Opie is now sick. So for those of you who do not have dogs, what that entails is every single hour forcing yourself to get up, every hour and let the dogs out. Take them a good 20 minutes out there. Then let them back in. Hour later again.
Savannah woke up achey this morning coughing and hacking. I woke up this morning coughing very badly. Something popped into my head that maybe we have mold from where the air conditioner leaked in the basement. Maybe that could be the problem. I'm moving up to Savannahs room. Going to get me a better mattress for her bed and just sleep in there. Take her with me!
Juan missed the bus this morning, but we got him to school. Savannah almost missed the bus, but I hurried as fast as I could!
I scrubbed the living room this morning. It's so nice looking! I used vinegar on the living room and it looks so nice! Kitchen is almost clean. Then I'm not going to clean anymore today. I'll clean again tomorrow.
I feel like we got jipped on weather. I keep waiting for those cold spells. Patiently waiting. Saturday it's supposed to be 90. So what that means here in the Ohio valley is that come October it will just get cold. No nice weather to enjoy. I want some 70s some window open days.
Been doing alot of soul searching lately on what I want. I come up empty alot. I think to myself can we really have this much stress. Yes. Just too much.
Sad to say I was relieved when everyone walked out the door this morning. I cleaned in quiet. I need more quiet!
I wasted my 20s. They were totally ruined for me. My first 5 of 30 were pretty ruined. I want to set some goals about not wasting anymore time. That's hard to do when you are stuck. I feel like I'm neck deep in quicksand. Sometimes I get close to going under, sometimes I can get out to my waist. Then I sink, come up again. Over and over same process. I want my life out of the quicksand. I want peace, quiet and happiness. Do you think joining a monastery would be too extreme? They don't talk right? They sing, hum and pray. I think they make chocolate and cheese. I could do all those things. Any close by? Anyone know?
Oh well, I'll google the monk thing :P
Happy Monday.