It's Sunday

So was Savannah sick this weekend????? YES! She threw up last night and was very sick to her stomach :(
I am not liking the school thing. Hopefully with the 4 day weekend soon, she has time to completely get well!
We are trying to coax Anthony to get a job. He said he doesn't want to spend his free time working. Had a 30 minute argument about how he has to go to school and that is job enough and it will waste his childhood getting a job.
I told him that if he wants to have his girlfriend a nice Christmas present, he really better start thinking seriously about a job. I tried to get him to apply for the zoos Halloween Party, tried for a snack bar attendant at the pool. Fun jobs. He wants no part of it. Dunno what other option to explore there. I think a job will really help him. Juan will have no problem getting a job, he's out mowing yards and all sorts of stuff for money.
Who knows! Boys.
Claire has been very sick all weekend.
Friday I was sitting on the couch, got up and got the worst dizzy spell I have ever in my life had. I was so ill, my arms hurt, my legs were weak. I laid in the basement and cried because I was so scared. Kyle got Savannah off the bus and took her to dance class. Yesterday as the 24 hr mark hit, it magically disappeared. Prayers lots of prayers and I think it was the virus Savannah had last week when she said she felt wiggly.
What do kindergarteners do in their class to get all these germs. Do they chew on crayons? Do they put their hands in their mouths? I knew she would be sick, I counted on it. But good grief. I didn't know every single week she would be bringing home everything.
Kinda scary.
Today I am cleaning and thats about it.

Happy Sunday

2 Full days

Juan has gotten up and ridden the bus to school and spent FULL DAYS! :)
I don't want to jinx myself, but YAY!!! :)
His dad has been sending him messages every morning to motivate him and it really is helping him.
Sooooooooo One day at a time :)
2 full days!! I think I'm going to take him out this weekend to the zoo or something. That really is an accomplishment :)

Everything else is okay, but might I say again 2 FULL DAYS :)

and in case you didn't grab that from the title

2 full days :)

Huge, huge steps. I'm extremely proud!

Wednesday

Just an update to say we are all still alive.
I'm still coughing. Had about 20 panic attacks yesterday.
Had a rough evening.
Nothing good at all to report really. Just rewind, replay of life.
So you don't have to look back in archives, I'll make a check list for you.....

Are we sick---- Check
House always a mess----Check
Always cleaning----Check
Kyle and I arguing----Check
Stll bored and lonely-----Check
Dogs still a geek----Check
Iron low----Check
Someone always mad at me for things I say---Check Check
Truth hurts-----Check


That's about it, I think. I can't think of anymore right now. My mind is clouded from all the crying I have done in the past 24 hrs.

Kinda get scared to write anything anymore. I piss people off alot by the things I write. But, the funny thing is, I only skirt around what's really going on. It goes alot deeper than what I write. This is my blog and my place to vent. You have a choice, to read or not to read. If what I write bothers you.........Then choose not to read. Getting mad at me, solves nothing when you only know the half of what is really going on. So be mad all you want.....You only know what you are told. There are 2 sides to every story. One is not sugar coated.

Have a happy Wednesday. I am going to go take a shower and go back to bed. At least in my dreams life is good :)

Still coughing and it's saturday again.

I thought for sure a couple days ago my cough was gone, but nope. It's one of those if it starts, it turns into like this spasm thing and it's hard to stop. Savannah was really sick last week. She had to get antibiotic. Then she started throwing up. Now all day she has been crying the whole entire day saying she feels dizzy and wiggly. I seriously can not take another illness. I hope this is just something in passing and not a virus. Juans doing better at school. Up to a full 6 hrs out of 7.
Anthony is doing alright. Not really much to report other than we all hate sickness.
Savannah has never been around kids ever in large groups. So I knew she would get sick. I didnt' realize how much though.
Have a happy weekend.

Sick n Grumpy

The whole house except Anthony is sick and grumpy. Savannah woke up this morning and didn't look right. I took her temp 102.3. Called the Dr. She is now on antibiotics. Kyle is sick. Coughing, clammy, stuffed up nose. I am still coughing bad. Juan is coughing very bad. We are all miserable and all grumpy. Sleepy too. It's been a bad couple weeks. Coughing is the absolute worst. I hope Savannahs fever goes away soon. She has laid around all day and it's just not the same. We all kinda rotate from tub to lay down or what have you.
Nothing else much going on. Stay away if I were you.
Happy Saturday

Cough, Cough, Cough, Cry, about the way my Friday has gone

Juan and I were up talking last night about school. I told him I wanted him to try to go in early and stay as long as he could. He told me he wanted to try and stay the whole day and he would call me.
So we get up. I say "How are you doing?" Etc and he still wants to stay a full day etc.
UGHHHHHHHHHH This is where it gets bad. I ask Kyle if he will take him to school for me. UGH, he starts stressing. We are out of breakfast, he has to go to store. Is mad over that and complain, complain. I told him just to forget going, no big deal etc. It's too early at this point and I am too tired for any bitching or complaining.
So he leaves and goes to Kroger. Juan is dressed and ready, but has not eaten. So Kyle gets back and has a hissy fit cause Juan wants to eat breakfast. HELLO??????????? You knew he didn't have any breakfast. So he buys Savannah something to take for lunch, but didn't buy anything for Juan, so now we have another issue. I go downstairs and I hear Kyle make the comment to Juan that he needs to hurry and eat his cereal. So then I get involved about rushing him and blah blah blah and we escalate to arguing. Imagine that. So Juan just lays his bowl of cereal uneaten on the counter so Kyle could just get to work.
Savannah at this point is screaming and crying. Good God am I going to have to go through the rest of my life with no help. I take and pick Juan up every day. I just wanted a break this morning. I'm coughing so bad I hurt. I cough non stop. In hind sight, I should not have asked Kyle. I should've just done it myself. I could see the taxed look on Juans face when he came back in the door for something.
Kyle called me and UGH I told him, they told us at the hospital, YOU WERE THERE......to make his mornings as easy as possible. Why do you have to freaking yell and complain at him??????? I don't understand. This week has been hard already and he was ready to stay a full day.
To save an argument I told Juan I would pick him up at lunch to make sure he had something to eat and we will work more next week on getting him to stay full days.
So then Kyle and I argue some more on phone over how he can't miss any work and that he got in trouble for taking a few hours off when Juan was in hospital. OH BOO FREAKING HOO. It's not like we were out running around town.
I am officially done with asking anyone for help of any type. My kids, My issues.
I just sat in the driveway and cried for about 20 minutes. At least that curtailed the coughing for a bit. My chest hurts, my arms hurt, my jaws feel like they are locked up. I am so sore and so tired. Guess I'll go take a bath and clean then go pick up Juan.
Hope everyone else has a Happy Friday.
Good grief.

Happy Tuesday..... I think LOL

OMG My rear end hurts soooooo bad, well towards my hip that part. I was scrubbing the kitchen floor on my hands and my knees and I was going really fast and backed right into the corner of the wall. Owooooooooooo, it bruised instantly. Good grief!!
Um..... School update for Juan. Yesterday was a VERY rough day. He just would not go in school, said he felt very funny etc. We get home, he has a fever and a cold. Stopped up nose, coughing and said he's very dizzy. So was it the cold? Was it the anxiety? Today, he is still very sick. Keeps laying in the tub. Normally, had he gone to school, I would have no question about letting him stay home. But, UGH HE needs to go to school. I am beside myself.
If I end up in jail from truancy, please bring me gluten free bread and water. His school is of no help. They are supposed to have a counselor to come in and work with him weekly, they do not. It's like parents are automatically supposed to know the steps to take for these things.
Savannah is home today sick. She has a very bad cough, fever, runny nose.
If you wanna get sick, come lick our doorknobs!! :P
Okay, so Juans dog is on my LAST Freaking nerve. I won't even call her by her name because I am so mad at her.
We have vertical blinds hanging in the living room and she has chewed them over and over. We keep buying the replacement blinds and fix them no problem. So yesterday I am leaving, open the blinds all the way so she can't get to them. I get home and OMG she ripped them ALL completely off the wall. The brackets and everything. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Kyle got them hung back up, but OMG what's with the blind eating?
That's about all going on here. If I hear you knocking at the door, I'll assume you want germs.
I Predict Lindsays baby is coming tomorrow, so I gotta stay far away from her with my germs.
Happy Tuesday.
Be well.

Quick, what day is it? Um Thursday?

Good grief, how pathetic is it that I can't remember what day it is. They say that's a sign of fun. Who's they anyway? I think they lie!!
Hmmmm lets see. Good things, Juan almost spent the whole day at school today and rode the bus home. Says his chest doesn't hurt anymore. No more shaking and dizziness. So that is awesome!!
He got a package from his dad today and was happy as a lark. His dad sent him and Anthony some Tshirts and hats and stuff. He immediatley ran upstairs put everything on and had to find some stuff to put in his wallet. It's almost his birthday, he can soon fill it up with some dough!
Savannahs doing really well in school. Anthonys doing really well in school. He has a girlfriend and I have to keep a complete and total short leash on him. Hard to do.
I'm doing okay, still very lonely and stressed, but at least things are looking up.
I just wish I could get out of this funk I am in, but it's hard to do.
Usually people associate me with talking all the time, but anymore I barely say anything. I just become more closed off. That's not really a good thing. Not sure how to deal with that.
Lately I wake up in the middle of the night crying and crying from the lonelies. I will have to check back in my blog and see the last time it happened. Maybe it's a pattern. It doesn't happen all the time, but happens on occassion. I can't explain it, I wake up out of a dead sleep and feel this lonliness and ache I can't describe and I just cry. Times like that one needs a huge hug. Frustrating.
Um........ what else is happening. My dogs are stupid. Juans stupid dog recently ate the front blinds. She couldn't see out of them so she chewed her a hole. Ate 6 of them. GRRRRRRRRR Kyle went and bought a package of replacement ones and fixed it. Of course Juan laughed his butt off. Stupid dog.
2 boy stories and a Savannah story then I'm outta here............
First Anthony...... I told alot of you this who came to hospital. But when we were leaving, we had to be let down the stairs by an escort. So we were walking and Anthony says "Oh cool they have a small movie theater here" I'm thinking,,,,,Huh? So then I ask him why he says that and he points to a sign below that says "Admissions only" I was trying so hard not to laugh. We got to the bottom of the stairs and the escort is trying not to laugh and he opened up the door and held it for us and says "Enjoy the show" was a classic!
Juan, Juan
So I'm driving him to school yesterday......We see a very small toyota with 2 HUGE HUGE Men in it. Juan looks over and says "Dude, did you see that" I was like Juan, you know better than to make fun of people. He says "No mom, you have to check them out. If I get like that shoot me" So I glance over. The men are every bit of 400 or more pounds and at least 6 foot tall. Imagine them in a very, very small toyota. I kept my laughter in cause it was kinda funny, but wanted to set a good example. The car is going at a snail pace and I go around them and Juan then is looking in his mirror, laughing hysterically "Mom really you gotta freaking check that out" So I fix my mirror to where I can see and the wheels on the car are not only wobbling the rim is almost touching the ground. At that point, I lost it and laughed and feel horribly ashamed. Going to say the rosary cause I feel awful for laughing, but it was so funny. Funnier than the window unit air conditioner hanging out of a window of a car we saw.
Savannah Banana
Juans dog likes to um...... How do you say this nicely. Hump for lack of a better word. She is a female and since we had her fixed, she always is um..... humping.
Well........She took Anthonys turkey sandwich and then started humping him. So Kyle and Juan start saying "thank you for the turkey, thank you for the turkey" and I am laughing hysterically at this point. So now everytime she does it, we always say "thank you for the turkey, thank you for the turkey" But Alas it's a better name than mentioned above. So we crawl in bed, Savannah is totally exhausted. Anthony opens the door and Claire runs down and hops in bed and starts licking Savannah, she looks up sleepily and says "Claire, please don't thank me for anything tonight" Total classic line!! My kids are funny.
I am blessed.
Sorry I'm not updating every day. Been busy.
I made up for it today.
Happy Um Thursday is it?
Send rain and cool weather. It's hot!

Hi everyone!!

Haven't updated in a few days. Not much really to report. Just trying half days with Juan at school. It's really frustrating for me because his school isn' that close and by the time I get home, I have to turn around and go get him. I was really looking forward to going back to work, but now that's on hold AGAIN.
I go through bouts of anger, sadness or whatever. I got some of Juans cardiology reports back and they said with the Tachardia (spelling is awful) he may have Mitral Valve Prolapse, which causes his heart to feel funny, triggering the anxiety attacks. They are supposed to call me back. I'm exhausted. We all had some virus, each had it a day apart from each other, cept Kyle and Anthony because they are rarely in contact with the rest of us.
Kyle took them down to the river with his family on Saturday. I was thinking YAY I get to spend the day alone, but felt sick and weak the whole day. Carol I think mom mentioned you had the same thing. :( We must've all passed it at the hospital.
Sunday we went swimming at moms and had a cookout. I was still worn out.
Yesterday I did nothing the whole day. Just sat. Bored and tired.
Today, just got Savannah ready for school, then got to drive Juan to school. Come home with time to mop a floor, turn around and go pick him up then the rest get home. So as far as enjoying Savannah being in school, I don't see it happening anytime soon. That sounds so selfish when you read it, but I have dealt with this school issue for years and years and I'm tired.
I talked to Juans dad, he talked to his dad also.
He told Juan he would email him and call him. Juan emailed him Friday night and has checked his box over and over looking for a reply. I told him that the military was off til today. So I hope and I pray that he writes him back. His face lit up like I haven't seen in years. To see him that happy was awesome.
Other than that nothing going on.................
Happy Whatever day it is. Tuesday???

No school again** We have a good update

Well..........I knew it would happen. I had about 20 panic attacks yesterday because I knew already what today held. Juan came home yesterday. They wanted to keep him til Thursday, but he insisted he was ready for school etc. etc. This morning, he won't even try. We pleaded with him even for an hour. Nope. Will not go. I tried calling the counselor there, she was "too busy to talk to me right now" I tried calling the hospital. Nothing. Is there not any help available out there? His school is like the scum hole of the center of Louisville. No one is willing to help me. I can't get any help any where. I haven't a clue what to do. Juan told me this morning that the hospital was "Fun" and that he has "no fun" at his school. I am absolutely floored at those statements. Floored. So after the people call me back and if he has to go back to hospital, I am going to ask everyone that they please respect my wishes to only visit him once or twice a week. I think this is turning into a big game with him and I am fully prepared to play. I can't keep doing this. I have so many issues that I need to deal with. Some of them major and I can't because everything is focused on Juan. UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH Said with the biggest amount of frustration one could udder.
Hope everyone else on this earth has a Happy Wednesday because OF COURSE I won't be.
******* We have a good update!! okay, so all the drama this morning. I knew this would happen. I was up late last night. I have a good friend who suggested doing half days. I haven't a clue why I did not think of that, but I was like "That's a good idea." Fast forward til about 1 am. Juan is still upset, very nervous. I suggest this to him, he says it was a great idea and we both go to bed. This morning he didn't want any part of it. It was crazy here this morning. Throw Kyle and Savannah into this mix of craziness and it was hectic. Kyle gets alot more frustrated than I do with Juan. Albeit Thursday I had my frustration melt down. I know what he is going through first hand, so I can help more. Where as Kyle tries but does it not as nice as I do. Anxiety requires patience. So I step out back to make some phone calls and let myself cool off so I do not say things that I don't mean. Come back in. Kyle takes Savannah to the bus stop, I step inside make some progress with Juan. Kyle comes back home, I'm about at meltdown mode again. I tell Kyle just to go to work. I don't want to start arguing with him and get more frustarted. So Kyle is gone. I come in, get Juan to eat. Talk to him in a patient way. He says "I'm ready to go to school" Thud was me hitting floor. I said "huh" He said I'm ready to go for my half day. I asked him why the change. He said when Kyle and I get to arguing and Savannah gets to whining he can't think. When it's quiet he can think. So I get him in the car. He is very nervous at this point, I am just thrilled that HE IS IN FACT TRYING! We take it very slow, parking lot, then the front door. Low and behold we get called into Mrs Adams office. It just so happens that this Angel from heaven is a recovering agoraphobic. She had Juans EXACT problem. I swear she was an angel. I firmly believe that in life everything happens for a reason and today she was my reason. She sat him down, explained exactly how he was feeling. She asked him some concerns about him being there. He said he didn't have a locker, an agenda and a schedule. She turned around and in 4 minutes tops, she had his agenda, locker, schedule and science notebook. She took him on baby steps, told him even if he didn't stay his half day, walking in those doors was a huge first step. That is the first time in all of this that I have actually felt someone was helping. I just started crying because she clicked right with him. I started towards the door, they were locked arm and arm and she was leading him to class. HE'S THERE!!!!!!!!!!!! Mind you I have to go back and get him in a little bit. But it is a HUGE first step in many to come. So thank God for Mrs. Adams a true God send this morning. I woke up thinking there was no hope and didn't understand any of this. Johnny my brother (he's a lawyer for those of you who don't know) found a helpful lady with the military. They are going to locate his dad so we can get a medical stuff with the ins. taken care of. So 2 birds one stone today and I know all the prayers we have for us are moving mountains. So keep praying for us. They are much appreciated!!
And any more advice my friends have, the half days or what have you, please suggest. If i say something and you have an idea, please tell me. I didn't even think if that. My brain is running on empty from all the stress. It's more appreciated than you know!!
Maybe a twinge of a Happy Wednesday for me!!

The cleanin of the cave

The basement is a cave. The laundry room I loathe, but it's all done. My room is spotless, my bathroom in the cave is spotless and the laundry room which I hate is spotless. Have to put pics for my mom cause she will never believe it. I HATE THAT ROOM!! If I could stay out of it forever I would. So here is my cave laundry room CLEAN!!


When I am nervous or mad, I clean and there is nothing left in my house to clean. I guess I'll find something else to do to occupy my time LOL
Happy Monday
Juan will be home at noon tomorrow

Sunday Cleaning too

Barf. First things first, Juan is doing very well. Went up there last night and he has made a wonderful friend named Jerry. Juan's extremely worried about Jerry. Jerry's dad is in jail, his mom doesn't want him, so he's dropped off there because he is angry. :( Who wouldn't be angry. They have no place for him. Juan and Jerry were the only ones who were allowed up stay up late last night. All the other kids had their mattresses pulled to the hallway and had to sleep under watch. You know for just anxiety, my son doesn't belong there. But stupid insurance won't cover anything different, so what do you do. No one ever visits the other kids. No one. It's extremely sad.

I woke up this morning more CLEANING. UGH, this time I stripped the laundry room apart, cleaned out and organized the wardrobe in there. Not finished with that yet, it was a chore, so when I finish I'll share the pics in there. That was a HUGE job. I'm moving at a snails pace now. BUT I washed all the walls in the living room, stripped the wood floors, got under all the furniture. Cleaned behind and under everything in the room. Did my curio cabinet. Even cleaned the ceiling and all those beams. UGH. It's about time to start getting ready for the hospital. BUT...... Tomorrow I should be able to finish the rest. I even maintained the upstairs. Funny thing is, I do this once a week for the most part. Not under everything like I did today, but I can't understand how it's still dirty. Me and the mommy loop girls, literally ALL do this once a week. Before and after cleaning races and you know what. Racing really does motivate you to get it done. Today, I am racing with Annissa. We update through emails our progress. She is keeping me going, I am keeping her going. Whatever works and friends are the best in the world. Here's my living room all done!! I used some new stuff on the floors, made them shine, but they are slicker than snot! Oh and I have to keep pillows on the couch now, in the last pic it's dark but you will see Claire barking at the Little old man, She stands all day on the back of the couch barking and she's flattening my pillows ARGH!



LOL Opies wakin up stretching, gearing to growl at Little old man walkin dog

Above is Claire stretched out on the back of the couch growling at the man LOL she does what we call poodie Whistlling a mixture of barking and growling and yodling!
Happy Sunday

Saturday Morning Project

I got bitten by the cleaning bug. Me and the mommy loop girls do cleaning races LOL today I think I beat them ALL!!!!! I did the whole upstairs!! I did fans, washed walls, stripped the wood floors then waxed them. Washed all sheets and blankets. Smells like an ocean breeze up there. I missed having Juan complain about the vinegar though. I thought I'd share pics of my accomplishment for today!! :) I did the bathroom too and scrubbed the fridge. Took every shelf out and scrubbed! Tomorrow is the middle floor, then the cave basement! I hope I hold up that long. As you can see from the pics, Anthony is fully using Juans room while he is away!
Melzie, post some pics of your progress, I know you are in on the cleaning today too!! I think Annissas gonna leave us high and dry! I have to quit and get ready to go to hospital today..........but here's my pics proving I raced today!! :P I've been slacking on the racing lately, sorry gals!




Above are Juans room and Anthony using his video games!



These are Anthonys room which always look the same because he keeps his room spotless!!



Above Vannahs room!!
I wish we could hurry and finish this house :( It's so old and takes so much time and energy to fix. I want it done so we can move on!! Just the bathroom and the part of the basement to go! Shouldn't take too much stuff.
Happy Saturday, be clean!

Hi everyone!!

Hope everyone is well.
Things have been very tough here lately.
I'm so exhausted it is unreal.
Juan is in the hospital right now. That's all I really want to say about that at this point. I miss him horribly and cry ALOT. When I go to see him and leave as a mother, it tears me up inside. I want to grab him and take him with me. But know right now that is not possible.
After visiting with him this morning I left got to moms and did something I never have in my life. I sat on her couch and within 3 minutes completley and totally fell asleep. I am emotionally drained.
I smiled for the first time in 3 days last night. It felt very, very good. I am rarely ever not smiling.
Today I have a huge migraine. My head hurts so bad. I have to go back to the hospital in a few minutes. I am dreading being out in this heat. It can go away at any time and would not hurt my feelings. We are on alot of days over 100 degrees.
My friend Melzie just had me LOLing so hard it's unreal. I feel guilt that I am laughing when my son is in hospital. But I appreciate the laughter. Such a wonderful woman. For my baby boy a song a hear and think of him. All we do need is a lil patience.


Patience

Shed a tear 'cause I'm missing you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt you're in my heart now
Said woman take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said sugar make it slow
And we'll come together fine
All we need is just a little patience
(inhale) Patience...
Ooh, oh, yeah

Sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now, I'll wait dear
Sometimes, I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love, there's one more thing to consider
Said woman take it slow
Things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Said sugar take the time
'Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes to make it
We won't fake it, Oh never break it
'Cause I can't take it

...little patience, mm yeah, ooh yeah,
Need a little patience, yeah
Just a little patience, yeah
Some more pati... (ence, yeah)
I've been walking these streets at night
Just trying to get it right (Need some patience, yeah)
It's hard to see with so many around
You know I don't like being stuck in a crowd (Could use some patience, yeah)
And the streets don't change but maybe the name
I ain't got time for the game
'Cause I need you (Patience, yeah)
Yeah, yeah well I need you
Oh, I need you (Take some patience)
Whoa, I need you (Just a little patience is all we need)
Ooh, this ti- me....

Round 2

So Juan gets up, gets ready. Starts giving Kyle trouble about going to school. Kyle tries to drive him down to bus stop, he won't go. Bus comes, he stands in middle of street. Will not get on, will not go. So I call the school and ask if someone can be patient with him etc. etc. She starts defending her counselors etc. etc. I say "All I AM ASKING OF YOU IS THAT YOU BE NICE TO HIM RIGHT NOW" She was like well he has to keep his shirt tucked in those are the rules. Screw the freaking shirt at this point, I'm trying to get him in the damn front door.
So Kyle is taking him there now. I haven't a clue what will happen. I got very mad and hollered at him because he kept throwing his backpack out of the car. I am frustrated beyond belief. Kyle could lose is job and is losing pay everytime he takes off work for this. He's getting mad at me, but either or, someone has to get Savannah off to school and get her ready. Someone has to be at both places.
I am so stressed it's unreal. All these problems and one more with Juan thrown right back on top. I'm beyond angry. I have spent 11 years dealing with Juan and his problems. I am tired of them. I don't really feel sorry for him anymore. That may make me sound like a horrible, horrible person. No one knows what it's like to every day walk on eggshells so you don't start a fit. Deal with phone call after phone call from school. Sure he has very good days, but there are so many bad too. I can't get myself together, I can't take care of my problems because I am so wrapped up in Juans stuff, Kyle and my troubles, insurance woes, trying to hide Savannah from Juan so she doesn't pick up on his fear and then we have 2. Anthony gets neglected because there just isn't any time left after messing with Juan. I'm tired. I am officially down, I don't even have enough strength to wave a white flag.
I play Toon Town every day and no one really understands why, imagine for just a little while going to a different world where there isn't any of this crap. It takes me away for just a little while. I need a break. A big serious break and I will never get one. The punches fly at me from every direction. This will happen again tomorrow and then again Friday. Saturday there will be some reprieve then Sunday fits will start and then Monday this whole shebang will happen again. I Have done this many, many years. I haven't the strength to do it again.

God sends you what you need at the right time.

Funny how things work out in life. Why things happen, when they happen. Jay, Lindsays husband came over tonight to talk to Juan and take him out to dinner to find out what's going on with him. We were sitting on the couch talking and I started telling him about how in Virginia I worked at this Karate studio for Mr. Nichols. How I loved it, seeing the kids learn discipline etc. I truly LOVED that job and so respected Mr. Nichols. He was so talented, worked at the Pentagon, had a successful business. Was such a cool, cool man!
Well no sooner than I got finished telling Jay, I sign on and 7 or 8 years later I hear "You've got mail" It was from Master Nichols!!!!
I could almost cry to know that 7 or 8 years later, I made such an impression on him as a worker that he took time to look me up and email me.
That is the most special I have felt in so long and I am sitting here trying not to cry.
Funny, I would never ever of thought I would've crossed his mind. :) Maybe I'm not as bad as what I think I am
Here is his website and where I used to work! He moved to the front of the building but same location!! I miss living there sometimes
Master Nichols
Thank God for that. Just when I couldn't feel any worse about myself in life that gives me a glimmer of hope.
:)
Thanks for all the cards. Lois sent me a boquet of flowers yesterday and today a big boquet of daisies. They are my favorite. They always look as if they are smiling. Daisys are Ladies :) Lois is my TT buddy , my friend. Thanks Lo Lo!!

:(

I am so suffocated and stressed.
Today is my birthday and it has gone horribly right off the start. I'd expect no less because every year it is completely freaking awful.
Juan WILL not go to school. NOT, refuses. So now it's a trip to Kosairs for me where I will spend my whole day in the ER..........So Happy Birthday to me!!!

Everyones in this house is always made special, Everyones and every year, same song and dance for me. More stress, more headache. I should've expected no less.

Saturday, Saturday!

Ok no one knew where the sonnet was from............... Sense and Sensibility!! Come on peoples!!! LOL Doesn't everyone know that stuff?
Had a really bad afternoon yesterday. Woke up this A.M. feeling alot better and more clearheaded. Thank God for that.
Getting ready for Anthonys party. It's supposed to be hot! Owooooooooo
Nothing much else going on. Have a Happy Saturday!

Ever read Shakespeare?

I love this sonnet! Tis my favorite!! Most of you know why or will know why LOL

SONNET 116
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Found the book downstairs when I was digging out school supplies and that was highlighted :) I can pretty much recite it verbatim!! The middle I have a lil trouble with.
It's Friday. I'm bored. Anthonys party is tomorrow.

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings that I do
And I blame you!

Happy Friday! Hope to see alot of you at Anthonys birthday tomorrow!!
Then Sunday its Karen and Tommys photo shoot WOO HOO :) Look purty for me.

Boys deemed blog worthy

Okay, so my oldest comes home from school and now has an "Official" Girlfriend. We sit out in the kitchen eating pepperonis and talkin about her etc. She wants him to go on a date tonight to her church. Okay...........all fine and good.
Fast forward my middle son comes in and after we talk about his day at school, Anthony tells him about his new girlfriend and stuff. Anthony leaves to come check his email in the living room, so Juan and I start talking about girls. He said he has no ladies yet and that usually it takes about 3 weeks. I kept telling him maybe they are intimidated or something. Then he says it will just take awhile and proceeds to drink his milk........... From the other room we hear "It won't take awhile if you are hot and sexy like me" That milk shot out of Juans mouth across the whole kitchen and we both were laughing soooo hard. Not that my son isn't cute, because they are both adorable, but that comment was friggin hilarious. I look at the milk on the floor and Juan says "I'll get to that once the sickness passes"
Literally made me LOL
Oh geez!!
Reminds me of that song by Right Said Fred
I'm to sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts!!
Happy Sexy Wednesday!