It's Tuesday

Yesterday I did absolutely nothing in the evening. I spent the whole morning cleaning, changing sheets etc, etc....I had bizarre dreams last night. I dreamed that Juan's friend Chris, patrick, tyler and them were trying to help me burn down our old house. We were taking notebooks and laying lit cigarettes on them and the fire would start, but it would fall down the vents to the street and you could see them burning on the streets. My dad showed up and cut the carpet and replaced it, then told me to be more careful smoking.... Then my next dream, me and my mom found a surefire way to win the lottery, so we went in with UNO cards... yes UNO cards and rolled quarters.... We traded them in and expected to win 18,000 dollars and she was going to underbid me and we would split the 18 thou... how that system worked with the UNO cards and quarters I dunno, but someone on a computer out tricked us and we left without our UNO cards and quarters.... At least I got to spend time with both of my parents in my dreams LOL!! Was wild, wild, wild... O.o
Boys are both gone, Savannahs gone. Elmer kept me company on voice chat last night, but I was very lonely. Funny, when I moved out of the shelter, I was terrified of staying alone and always had Chuck stay over or go to Chucks... Then I met Kyle and had him stay over. I couldn't stay alone, I was terrified... Now..... Aside from the lonliness, I love being alone. I'm not scared. Not a bit. So that aspect is nice. About 11:30 last night I crawled in my bed, Claire jumped on my chest, Opie on my feet and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I was gone.... Doing bad things in my dreams... burning houses, trying to cheat money with my mother LOL!
Debautchery at it's best!
Happy Tuesday
Love,
Me =)

Happy Monday =)

Happy Monday everyone. Been a good weekend. Took me 3 days to get Savannah back to normal...only to have her going back to Kyles tomorrow. Anthony said Saturday "She talks to me and Juan just like Kyle did" Getting on them about eating food and stuff. I didn't even think about that, but she really did. Hope she outgrows that. We played a ton of games of Pop o matic trouble.... She's actually really good at that game and whooped up on me.
This morning I am scrubbing my house. Yesterday I felt like I didn't sit down. Run, run, run. I kept thinking yesterday was Saturday.
I need to start going to church earlier, because now that I'm so busy, it's hard to fit 5 oclock in. So I'm gonna find out what earlier services they have.
Not much else going on. Just dropping off or picking up kids from whatever location they are at.... it's tiring.
Spring break YAY!
Happy Monday
Love
di

Not

Angry any more thank God. Man, when that anger hits me with this whole situation it hits hard. It's like I'm so mad at that boy, I'm so mad for at Kyle for not believing her.......just it all builds up. Yesterday was a wonderful day.... Mom stayed all night Friday. I had to watch Maddie Mayo and she was going to sleep over cause Roxanne was going out of town. Johnny and Angie came over, we watched the game, made some chili and had a good time.
Yesterday we went shopping and got Savannah a beautiful dress for Johnny and Angies wedding. We shopped alot, my poor momma was tired. My day didn't end til 6 then I crashed and sat in front of the puter a bit. Savannah and Maddie went to her house about 4, I took anthony to iisacs, Juan to Jordyns.... I felt like I drove all over God's green earth yesterday. Savannah wanted to come home about 8 cause of the storms, so I went and got her. She was quite upset about them, but i held her on my lap and explained how i knew when it was going to thunder lol! I think she was impressed. Mom asked me if I had my TV on yesterday to watch the weather..... I was like um no? I don't watch TV and I don't care about the weather anymore. Funny, how a few short years ago I was terrified.....now, I don't care. I spent so many years of my life worrying over weather and nothing ever happend. A mere waste of time.
Savannah fell asleep on my lap, I put her in bed and I got on the puter til about 11 then I crashed out.
Today is gonna be busy again.
Happy Sunday
Love,
Di

Grrrr Grrr Grrrrrrrr

You know sometimes I wonder why when it rains, it pours. I can't quite figure out the logic behind that but it is true.
I'm angry this morning.
Okay....... Lets see where to begin....
First off, Asshat and I as you know recently split households up. Savannah was going to dance and we rearranged her custody and asshat said when dance was over we would arrange it back........ Dance wasn't over, but ....... she had to quit and asshat won't fix it back..
Okay, the dance issue...Savannah told me something happened at dance. Something involving an older boy.......She was crying, upset, didn't want to go back.... We then spent time with detectives, etc......
My asshat ex husband doesn't believe her. The lady told me she needs therapy,because she won't tell them what happened and she needs alot of time and someone she can trust to talk to. Savannah still insists something happened. But asshat says this morning he can't afford it and he doesnt think she needs it cause she is "normal" This is the idiot who still wanted to force her into going to dance.... Pretty sad, not taking something like that seriously. He said "Lets take her back and see how she acts around him" Okay..... Real smart asshat... Then he tries to say she said it cause I hate dance.... I have no clue where he got the idea I hated dance. I used to take her every Saturday and watch her, I loved it and I loved going.. I only stopped going because his mother was paying for it all and everytime we got in the car an arguement started, so I figured since his mom was covering the bill of it all, he's the one that should take her. I said I hated dance ONCE and once only. I actually thought she was very good at it and was proud of her... but you know, he's got to have a story to tell his family... They know NOTHING about what happened in our household. He only tells them I played computer.... LOL boy would their hair curl if they knew everything that went on. Bet he didn't tell them about the time he burst into my room at 4:30 in the morning screaming at me to take a picture of his winky for his website........ I bet they never heard about any of what he said that night.. I'm so freaking pissed off......It's unfreaking real.
Then again i forget this is the asshat who held my son up against the wall by his neck choking him a few time, til savannahs screaming stop it made him stop....... an asshat is an asshat.... Also the same asshat who shoved me down the hall way and screamed at me til I was curled up in a fetal position begging him to stop.... why would he believe anything happened to savannah??
It it walks like an asshat and talks like an asshat.........
So then Savannah comes over on Tuesday, I was sooooooo glad to see her. What does she say? I didnt want to come over here, daddy said i can call him every minute.... so she screams to call him. I sit down to play with her, she screams and screams to call him because "GASP" I don't have anyone to play with here and can't take her out to texas roadhouse like asshat does. Asshats girlfriend has kids, so he has them come over to play or takes them to his mothers and sisters for free entertainment.... Okay so we play a bit, make dinner, do some gardening, go walking and we get home she gets in the tub. I sit down for 5 seconds and she starts screaming because I sit down.... So I give up and just go to bed. Then I pick her up yesterday I had plans to sit down with her , eat dinner, watch American Idol with her, etc.......... What does asshat do?? Sends her a text about the cats playing etc after he told her her cheering makes them win....... So we had made cookies, we ate dinner together. I told her Maddie couldnt come over, I wanted to just spend time with her and when people are around, she's not with me..........So she screams at me she wants to call daddy..........She calls him and starts screaming to him that OMG I didn't let her watch the cats play on TV i was making her watch something else. WTF does he have to interfere with my time with her.... so I turn the game on where she starts screaming like a rabid pit bull at the TV (gee wonder who does that) I mean screaming loud (gee wonder who does that) ... I try to have her do kid things and noooo she wants no part, she has to help the cats win... @@ So finally I get her to play princess monopoly with me, where Claire decided she wanted to play too... she stretched out all over the board... and we finally some how got through a game... She wanted to call asshat again and tell on claire, but I told her no, no calling. So then we play Yahtzee for a bit, she's finally getting back to a normal kid and laughing and playing and having fun... then the cats lose and she gets upset..... I just wanted to crawl in a hole because she is changing into a child that I don't know. He's playing headgames with her just to get me back cause I didn't love him... Who could ever love an asshat? Not to mention had he not abused my boys, maybe we'd still be together.... He needs to make a mental note, that calling wifes other children, retarded and stupid and then choking them against a wall are bad things to do. But it was my fault, so make me pay by playing head games with a 6 year old. Then arguing that she doesn't need counseling because in his world, no body does bad things to children...it's all hunky and dory and I wouldn't be suprised if he tried to take her to the recital and be around the boy again. Because why?? Asshats don't have brains.
Im very angry at him. Moreso angry than anyone I have been at in my life. I think he's a horrible person and seeing what he did to my kids. Anthony said the other day "Kyle took me off his facebook"... i said anthony did you expect any different... He said no he never did like me anyways. So ........ Good job father of the year asshat...
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Tuesday

Not much going on, just doing laundry and recleaning clean stuff. Walking around in circles some. Feel emotionally drained today. I'm tired. Gotta get Savannah today and my car isn't doing well at all. Any day it's going to be gone. I have asked my dad to do the tranmission fluid thing a few times..... I can't do it myself. I don't even know what type I put into my car. Anyone in Louisville, who's on city trash know what number to call to figure out this yard waste thing? I don't know who to call and have a ton of leaves i need picked up.
Gotta go to the dentist tomorrow and give him money that I don't have.

Oh boy I can't wait.

Happy day.
Although it's not happy, its easier pretending it is.

Love,
Di

Pissed off

today so I needed a new pissed off song. Plus I love the song.
Happy Flippin Monday.
I hate em.
love
Di

Video makin me cryyyyy!! Oh noes!

Saw this on the today show and found it on you tube. So sweet and ugh just made me cry. Cry, cry, cry LOL

Okay, family... Who started it?

I have noticed this for awhile on a few members of my family.... I don't know how it started. Who started it, but so far I have heard everyone but Sandy May do it.... The TRIPLES!!!!!! I do it! My mom does it the most out of anyone I talk to.
What's a triple you might ask..... Owooo, Owooo, Owooo!
I have never heard anyone else outside our family do this, so it has to just be us and our weird cultist ways.
Like I said my mom does it all the time. Lordy, Lordy, Lordy is her most frequently used triple... The other day I went to Mary O' Leafs and her and Juan were talking and she said that's wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.... Curl a month or so ago, I called told her I could make it to church, she lets out a first high pitched Good! there's a pause and then there's a good, good, good!!
Today, while cleaning Karen's, Tommy had called and I could hear her and she said Oh Cool, cool, cool!! What's with this? I have tried to stop the triples, but I can't. I don't know what it is.... is something more emphasized when you add 2 extra words? Do we just love words that much? It's really funny when you think about it. All them extra words, words, words! Do the Lindsey girls do this? this, this, this? What about the boys? I haven't spoken with Sandy much, since I noticed the triples... Sandy do you do this?
It's really quirky and cute, even if I don't know why any of us do it.
Have a wonderful Friday.
Love, love, love
Dianna

And even a bit better today =)

I think all the stress of moving and such hit me hard and I'm slowly getting into a routine. All the driving. OMG. I drive so much and my van is going downhill quickly. Mom has been letting me take her car some, which is a huge relief. Yesterday I took all the kiddies to the park. Juans girlfriend met him up there, Anthony found some friends up there. They all hung out, played ball. Me n Savannah went for a walk and she loved all the joggers. Let me tell you, this close to the mini marathon there were a TON of joggers and people. There were people everywhere. They got some new play equipment and Savannah had a blast on it. We were up there for about 2 hrs and came home and cleaned up leaves in the front yard. God, I love this house. I absolutely LOVE it. It's the cutest one on the street! After we did the yard, we ate supper and then I gave her a nice long bath. She was filthy. About 9:30 I sat down to get some me time on the computer and she was not happy. I rarely play on the computer anymore and anytime I do I feel like someone is giving me crap about it. That is what I do to relax and I didn't get on til late, late... I don't see what the big deal is. I don't watch any TV. Our TV in the living room has rarely been on.
I went and picked up her bike at Jannas and I think we are going to the park again and I'm gonna let her ride her bike. It was so gorgeous out yesterday.

Okay, I'm off to clean. I'm on a mission and then I think I'm gonna put something in the crock pot and take a nap.

Happy Wednesday

Love,
Di

A lil better today

I think I had Savannahs cold over the weekend. My nose just was awful and no matter how many tylenol sinus I took it was still awful. I had a few dizzy spells. I think I just have to let those settle down again. I'm just very discouraged they are back and I wonder am I going to have to do this for the rest of my life.
On a brighter note, the kids may not like it here, but I love it. I love everything about this house and it's like it was made just for me. I love my room, I love my tub. I love it.
There's no yelling. Not even I yell here. There's no fighting. There's quiet and peace. I just love it. Even the dogs love it.
I don't wanna move from here. I really, really don't. It just suits me.
Yesterday I was having an awful day. I had alot of financial things, tooth problems, headache, Savannah was sick........ I just couldn't take anymore stress. Savannah on Friday, had a sleepover. I had Maddie May and Sophia come over and stay the night. They had a blast and stayed up well until after 1 am... Saturday, Sophia had a birthday party and Savannah and Maddie went to that and she stayed til 8 when she called upset and wanted to come home. I picked her up, her eyes were goopy, she was coughing and sneezing. Just a bad cold. We didn't make it home 3 min and she was konked out. I explained to her yesterday that we couldn't do anything. She didn't feel well, I didn't feel well and I just had no money. She pouted all day. Said alot she was bored and what have you. I felt bad, but nothing I could do. Even if I would've had money we all needed to stay home and get better. The day wears on and she talks to Kyle........ This is where I get angry.... She tells him she's bored and there's nothing to do...... What does he tell her? He's going over to sprinkles to see the puppies and play w/ mimi and allie and all that stuff, just making a huge deal out of it. So she starts bawling cause she can't go. She hangs up and I said what's wrong? She said "Daddy said he's going to sprinkles to play with all the dogs and going to play with mimi and Allie" Why couldn't of he just said, he's going to aunt sprinkles? Why on Gods green earth does he have to soup it up. I know he's very competitive, he used to get way out of sorts with his sisters over different things. If they got something better or time or blah blah... So, I'm wondering if he's now carrying the competition over to Savannah. Who can do the most with Savannah. Too bad for him, he wins with me not competing. She's not visiting when she comes here, this is her home. If we can't do something every day, then we can't do something every day. It's a sad part of life. If he gets her to where she expects to do something at his house every day, he's in for a world of hurt one day.
Either way, I was just mad because he had to gravy it up. She eventually got over it. I let her use my camera to take pics of everything and she had a good time. We snuggled in bed and went to sleep. She was completely unharmed in a day of having to stay home! GASP! I'd give my eye teeth (literally anymore) to have someone make me stay home for a day. PLEASEEEEEEEE DO!

=)
Okay, off to pick up the boys from school.
Happy day
Love,
Di

I'm Depressed

I just can't figure out the whole point to my life. I'm down. I'm out of money, I'm tired. We are all sick again with a cold and some pink eye for extra fun. I'm lonely.
Last night I get a phone call from Juans dad. Juan told him he wanted to come live with him because GASP I MOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he didn't like it. He will have to go to Fairdale which from what I hear is like being sent to hell. (according to him) Everyone is pissed because I moved. I had no choice.
Anymore I don't care. I told him, you know if you want to go and live with your dad just go.
I can't do all this anymore. I'm tired. I have wracked my brain 20 different ways and sideways to figure out how I'm gonna afford to get them all to school tomorrow and all they can do is complain. Don't wanna eat what I cook, don't wanna sit home because they are bored. Blah blah blah complain complain.
I just can't take anymore.
I think my life is pointless. If there is a point I sure just don't see it. It's nothing but constant stress, chaos and worry.
I just don't understand.
I just don't care.
Screw today.
Love,
Dianna

Thursday

UGH! Ever since I had that flu, I have not been right. Right after my flu, then I got an infected tooth thingy. I had to go to the dentist and I was white knuckling the chair the whole time. I was so freaking dizzy. I mean majorly dizzy to the point I was bawling. He had to get to a point where he could stop and let me leave. I went swimming at the YMCA somehow went under water and got tons of water in my ear and I couldn't get it out. Now I am back to being majorly dizzy. Im so mad. This morning I went and got tylenol sinus took them, taking my antibiotics, I got some zyrtec to switch too. I don't want to relive that whole dizziness crap again. Im so freaking angry and tired. I just want the dizziness chapter of my life freaking closed. I say so many prayers but they don't work. I mean I have been praying for that for that for over a year and it's just not working. Nothings working. So anyone out there please say prayers for me, maybe he will hear yours. I can't take it anymore and it's making me depressed
=(
Love
di

I LOVE Nails!!!

Who ever knew they had hugely long nails! This is a new concept to me. These old people know how to do it!! Okay, so I moved into a house. An older house. The kids all went goo goo ga ga over the pencil sharpener attached to the wall. Me? The NAILS!! There are so many cleverly placed nails in the closets, in the pantry... OMG I Love it!! Anytime I don't know where to put something, I think I bet there's a nail somewhere for this or for that and OMG The stuff fits perfectly. The lady who lived here before me was a genius!! Her nail placement skills were off the freaking hook!! I will have to take a pic and show you. I'm sadly running out of nails. I am deeply saddened by this and I know if I try to place them myself it will not be the same. I needed a place to hang my broom last night and out of the corner of my eye spotted a lone nail.... I ran over and OMG the broom even had a hole for this nail. It's like they were MFEO =)

Yesterday I hate teeth, today I love nails....
LOL I blogged tooth and nail HA HA !!!

Happy Sunday
Love
Di

PS my cousin is a sicko, she shot my dog in the eye with corn and thought it was funny. Poor puppy was just wanting a bite to eat and she was over at the table just a gigglin, I'm thinking what's so funny? Tommys thinking it's him, I'm thinking its me...then she says through her laughter, I bit my corn and the juice shot opie in the eye and then mocked how he jerked back and his eye motions.......What brought me to this is, I'm eating corn and just did the same thing to the opposite eye!! He's gonna get cornjunctivitis!

I hate teeth

I got another infected tooth. Went to the dentist, on a ton of antibiotics. Work will be done on Monday if Kyle/Cobra stuff is straight. It hurts. Yesterday I felt so awful, I cried all afternoon. Kids were all gone, I was bored and lonely. Karen came over and we went to lunch. Dad dropped in for about 5 min and other than that, I cried all day.
I don't know why I can't be like everyone else with their teeth. For some reason mine just have to go to extremes. As much as I brush and floss, I shouldn't have any trouble at all.
I'm getting ready to go to moms and then to the store. Karen and Tommy I think are coming over tonight for dinner and some games or something.
Happy day
love
Dianna

Howdy on Thursday!

OMG, been so stinking busy it's unreal. I clock 75 miles a way abouts dropping everyone off at their schools. I don't get home til after 9 every morning and leave out shortly before 7. Juans been getting to school on time so thats good. Today I had to go to Karens to clean. She's down with the flu so I went to the store and got the stuff to make her a pot of white chili. I cooked it while I cleaned. We chatted the whole time and then watched Jeff Dunham and I had to head out to get Juan. I had a really good time with Karen today! No Furby WOOTS! After I got Juan I got some more stuff at the store for some more white chili cause the boys want some. So came home, showered, cleaned my whole house, did 2 loads of laundry, made the chili. Sitting down now to eat then heading to the YMCA to work out. When I get home gonna spend some time with Elmer, haven't gotten to talk to him too much. Savannahs w/ Kyle this weekend so I have the whole weekend to do nothing! I'm looking forward to it. I may watch some movies or something. I asked Karen to go out so if she's feeling better we may. Also church on Sunday, which Im looking very forward to!
Okay, gotta eat and run
Happy Thursday!
Love,
Di

And last but not least....

The bathroom is now done. The boys room still isn't finished, but they are both old enough to do it themselves. They are counting on me to unpack their boxes and I am afraid they are sadly mistaken. Pics to come when they unpack! Here's my lil bathroom! And a PS, I'm FINISHED! no more boxes, nothing, it's all done. I have a few things to get at the other house, but I'm completely DONE =) I worked 12-15 hrs a day to get it all done. Persistence pays off. So now drop in, it's done and clean!

My room =) YAY!

Just finished it!


I have 2 closets so it worked out w/ me not having a dresser. They are cedar lined too so YAY!!

YAY living room is done =)

I am loving my new house. It is sooooooo flipping cute. Everyone that comes over says how cute it is. Me n the plumber were talking this morning and he said, this house is very cute. I was like I KNOW!!! I love it. This morning I got up at 5 am, got Anthony to bus, got Juan to school on time =) YAY! Progress! Alot of driving, but progress!! Okay, here's my living room. I love my couch =) I cleaned houses and saved my own money for that thing and I LOVE IT. Makes me appreciate it much more when I worked my bum off for it. I don't have pics up yet and very old lady curtains. I gotta save up some cash for some new curtains and figure out what to do with the walls. I love the new carpet too. I have remnants of it down in places so it stays new for awhile. Everything in the house is pretty much brand spanking new!

A couple of new house pics

Anyone who was here the day I moved, knows what kind of progress this is LOL
The house is small but very homey. Stop in.

First is Savannahs room. I sanded and painted that dresser myself =)

she has so much stuff, it looks crowded but actually she has a whole side I didn't get a pic of and a very big closet

Here's my kitchen



Ill send more tomorrow =)
Love,
Di

Got moved

Sigh. I'm plum wore out. Yesterday I stood and unpacked and packed for 15 straight hours. When I sat down at the puter to play Monopoly w. Elmer I almost dozed off at puter. I crawled in bed and konked. HH gregg gave me a 6 am wake up call to let me know my stove would be here between 1 and 4. I went back to sleep.
Mom came over and Sue came over and today I have not sat down. 5 min here or there. Mom got us some lunch. Im trying frantically to unpack and get this stuff done. It's a mess and I can't take the mess. On any level.

Okay, my breaks over. I have a bad headache. I'm half wondering if I have a sinus infection from that flu. Flu is all gone =) It's last weeks news LOL

Okay, come see me when you get a chance.

Love,
Di