Monday

What does this Monday bring? Lots of things. Today or Tomorrow, my son is basically meeting his father for the first time ever. We left right when Juan was 2 and he will be 13 on Thursday. So in reality, they are meeting for the first time. He is nervous and scared, as is big Juan I am sure. I'm a little nervous, not as bad as I thought I would be. I'm more nervous for my son, with his anxiety attacks and such, I know being away from home for that long is going to be hard on him, but he needs this. I am going to take some pics of them and I will be sure to post and will keep you all updated as things unfold. It's very exciting in some ways. I hope it will be a special time for the both of them and I'm very happy.
Big Juan has been in Iraq for awhile and I'm sure that puts a new perspective on how things really are and what's important. So I hope they have fun.

The Kyle and I argument died way down. We both have been walking on eggshells to avoid any kind of repeat of Friday. He apologized profusely and I accepted the apology , but I am still extremely angry and hurt at the things that were said. When my brain is quiet, face it which isn't often, they ring in my head like a tape recorder going over and over. I want it to stop because I don't want to ever believe those things about myself. All weekend I was emotionally drained. I was tired, went to bed early, slept late. I got my house all cleaned up, took every bit of energy I had.

I got all my test results back, no heavy metals............Cept Bon Jovi!! HE lives on inside everyone!! :P My B12 and Folic acid were perfect butttttt my iron stores were very, very depleted. So he increased my iron yet again. Owoooooooo STOP THAT!!
Friday I mopped the floor and seriously felt like I was going to pass out, today I was able to get up, clean mop 4 rooms with no dizziness. I am still drained though, both emotionally and physically. I have no strength left mentally and I'm not sure I have ever in my life felt that way. I don't know what to do, what to say, what to feel. I really don't know anything right now. Just that I'm tired.

Happy Monday, I will keep all updated
Love,
D