I dunno what to say

I have had one of the worst mornings, I have had in along time. I thought yesterday was bad and waved my flag, little did I know things could get alot worse. They did. This mornings argument takes the cake in most we have had. I can't even go into details of what we were arguing over, but Savannah was right in the middle and was so upset, she could not go to school.
Any self confidence I had, is gone. I know for a fact now, that I can't feel much worse emotionally so that itself gives me some hope.
When you are married, or close with someone......you tell them things. They are supposed to know all your deep dark secrets and your deepest fears. I guess what I didn't realize in sharing those is that when things come to an end, they take all that and use it against you and throw it in your face.
This mornings argument took the things I hate most about myself and were used against me in one of the most horrible ways imaginable. I am so hurt that I am speechless.
My family knows I have post traumatic stress disorder, this morning I had a very, very, very vivid flashback, I had never had one before........It left me feeling like I was watching the situation and it wasn't me in it, like it was on TV and the other situation I was in before came back and it was a very weird experience and so real. I can't describe what it was like. Just never have done that before.
No I wasn't hit or anything for you worriers.
I honestly do not know what to say. Kyle isn't the only bad guy in this, I argued right back with him this morning. Same with the night before and then at lunch. I do open my mouth and say things also. So don't think the blame is all on Kyle on this one, I know it's me too. Takes 2 to argue.
I can't post any details about anything at this time, I just need to vent. I'm crushed. My spirit gone. I guess this way where self confidence and stuff is gone, I can only go up from here. I could not go any lower. So that is how I'm looking at it. I can only go up.
Say prayers for me, I need them in complete and total abundance. For the next 3 or 4 days I will have panic and anxiety attacks from the fight. So I will probably be out of commission. Most of all I'm just sad someone thinks such evil things of me :( Very, Very, Very sad.