Monday, July 05, 2010


Sigh. I haven't had a day like today in a very long time.

I'm tired.

I'm angry.

I'm just everything not good this week. I don't know what happened, I don't know if being sick took it's toll. I don't know if all the lying from people has just kicked my butt.

So many people have disappointed me this week. I get sad thinking.....Is everyone like this?

The air conditioning guy ........Dear Lord in heaven. I can't keep up with the fibs, white lies, tall tales he has told us this week. It's draining. I just want it DONE. Every day another lie as to why it's not done, another excuse, another reason. It's exhausting every day waiting around for him and then every day getting call after call as to why he's not here. When he gets here, he comes to the door, says he has to go do something else and leaves. What was supposed to take 2 days is almost to 7 and nothing.

The dogs got sick all over the carpet. I couldn't clean it all up, so I had to rent a carpet cleaner and spent the whole day cleaning carpets and disinfecting. I felt so weak and tired. On the fourth room, I felt like I was going to pass out. I had to keep going, because there's just me.

Was talking to my mom today and why just can't something go easy? Why is everything so difficult? My whole life has been like that and I'm starting to accept the fact that if I think it's ever going to be different......... I'm wrong.

I have to get used to and accept something I can't stand.

I'm tired of bad luck. My heart has been so broken, so many times I don't even know if I can feel anymore. I don't know what I feel other than very empty.

This week, I have just felt numb. Like a part of me is gone and I can't find her.

So many people emotionally suck everything I have out of me. I just wish they would leave me alone.

Well, I wish I had something more positive to write. It's a bad season for me.

Pray for me and pray that the AC guy shows up and finishes CORRECTLY. If he doesn't my mom will number 8 no bun him. She's tired of the run around herself.

It's exhausting.



1 comment:

Melzie said...

Di I get discouraged like that a LOT. And I get to feeling like I've waited my whole life for things to be different and they still aren't and OMGosh what if they NEVER ARE. I'll lie down and die. But I don't, just get through one day at a time sweet Di. <3 you.