Sunday, July 11, 2010

Baptism Sunday!

I will be sharing my testimony at the end of my bloggety blog entry for anyone who wishes to read it.

I got baptized this morning and I can truly say it was one of the THE BEST days of my life.

My children's births were at the top of my days and now in the ranks... the day I was born again. The day my new life started.

I was so scared this morning. I didn't sleep much last night out of nervousness and fear.........Now, I'm sad it's already over.

It was such a major event in my life. Sharing publicly what God did for me, sharing what He does for me now. Sharing how He found me. Sharing how much I love Him.

Everyone kept telling me, I will be up there with lots of others, because usually 2 or 3 get baptized at every service on baptism Sunday......Well, imagine my suprise when I get there and Mike tells me........"You're it today." My heart sank and I became so scared.

Mike and my Aunt Carol were an answer to prayers. Chad (the man who does the baptizing), Mike and myself all prayed before the actual service started. When I was putting on my baptismal robe and came out, I started bawling. I was shaking and so scared. Carol and Mike prayed with me for a few seconds as I cried, before entering back into the sanctuary.

That touched my heart so much.

Chad told me I could remain seated while my testimony was being read, so I wouldn't have to be in the spotlight too long. So, I sat there and right as I was going up on stage the fear was GONE!

They said I may or may not feel differently for awhile after being baptized, but I tell you what. I did. I felt lighter. I felt so light inside like every burden I had carried were lifted off of me.

So many people showed up to celebrate with me and I was touched beyond words at the love I was shown by so many today.

I am so lucky. God has given me so many wonderful people in my life. So much more of a life than I deserve He gave me.

I am so in love with God. Absolutely, totally in love with Him.

He is the greatest gift in the world! =)

Thanks to everyone for making my day so very special.

I have so many new brothers and sisters in Christ =) I will spend the rest of my human life and eternal life with all of them.

Thanks to God =)

Here's my testimony. Love to all!

I have grown up fortunate enough to have four walls always surrounding me, but inside I have never felt like I was home. Over the years, I often told other people that “I always feel like I want to go home, but my body doesn’t know where that is.”

Before I came to know God, my life was about trying to be accepted by others - attaching labels to myself about whom they thought I was. Anger and sin took over. The more things I did to make myself accepted, the more I disliked myself. To escape, I became addicted to video games. Even though video games helped me run from other people, I quickly learned I couldn’t run from myself and my sin. I was becoming who they said I was: frustrating, angry, bad, bitter. I continued to believe that if I just had someone who loved me, I would feel at home. What I didn’t realize was that I did have someone who loved me. I was lost, but God knew right where I was.

Discouraged and defeated, I retreated to my bed. My life became a pattern of: Cry, eat, take the kids to school, get back in bed, cry, sleep, cry. I heard a clock ticking next to my bed and would just listen to it. It reminded me that time was marching on as I was just laying there. I didn’t realize it then, but now I know that my old life was dying.

I cried out to Him, “Is my life a joke to you God?!” I went into my son’s room, got his Bible and started reading Psalms. Tears rolled from my eyes and sprinkled the pages as I read them. I felt David’s pain and anguish. I felt like him – forgotten and lonely. I got down on my knees and prayed to God. I begged Him for forgiveness for everything I had done and asked him to save me from myself. I heard his voice clearly and he said “How long are you going to keep doing this to yourself? Give it all to me, let me fix it.” I surrendered. In that moment I started to experience love I had never known before.

One step at a time, he showed me how to trust Him. One of those first steps was finding a church. During the Sojourn service on Easter Sunday this year, though I had heard the crucifixion story many times, it was as if I were hearing it for the first time. God had taken the blinders off. I got it. Through Christ we are forgiven. Through Christ we can come directly to God. Through Christ we can now know God. Though none of us deserve any of it, He loves us so much that He died in our place to make us right with Him. That is His grace.

Ezekial 11:19 says, “And I will give them one heart, and put a new spirit within them. And I will take the heart of stone out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh.”

That is the only way I can explain what happened to me that day. He changed me. He took away my heart of stone and put a new spirit in me.

God started changing things one at a time. I gave him the video games and he gave me a life that I never thought was possible. Every day I wake up wanting to learn more about Him and wanting to find ways to serve Him and make him proud of me. He has surrounded me with wonderful God-loving people. I am overwhelmed when I hear testimonies of how God saved them and thinking “He did that for me too!” There have been mountains in my life that have seemed impossible, but now I know with God ALL things are possible. I want to shout it to the world: “God found me! He saved me!”

Sometime during my final few days of lying in bed crying, the clock on the wall stopped ticking. I’m not going to replace the battery in it. I’m going to keep it at 4:55 as long as I live. Sometime during those 3 days my old self died and my sin was taken away. A new spirit was put in me and I was given a life in God.

I’m no longer who others say I am. I am who He says I am. I am loved. I am His. I am forgiven. I have finally found my home. I found my home in God.



Keesha said...

Isn't it a wonderful feeling? By just reading your testimony I got excited. God is truly amazing and one of the best choices I've ever made!

-me (or Elmer) said...

if i may comment..

that was very beautiful.