Ah, evening!! Been a long week yet again. Exhaustion starting to fill my head.
Tonight Savannah came home crying. She laid in my bed crying and crying. Brought back memories from just over a year ago when the incident happened at dance. She wouldn't tell me what happened tonight and inside I was shaking and terrified. I had to think of ways to earn her trust so she could tell me.
She said she didn't want to go back to that "place" meaning the family and childrens agency where tons of police and detectives questioned her about what was done to her.
My heart fell.
She asked if she could write me a note, again in sequence with what happened last year. I told her I would go outside the room and let her write the note and I would finish baking the cookies.
She hollered at me to come read the note and every step I took towards that door seemed to go in slow motion. I took the note from her lil hand and looked at her tear filled eyes and read.
Praise the LORD! It was just petty school stuff she was scared over.
I have never had such a feeling of relief in my life. For once I welcome the latest school drama!! Phew!! I don't think those feelings of that day will ever go away. Raising a girl is so much different than raising a boy. Being a girl and seeing what the wrong men can do. I don't wish that on anyone. I have to trust God. He's with her.
She asked me if God was mad at her for what happened and I told her no, God isn't like that. I told her just to tell God that she's very sorry and she said "I already did, but I still think he's mad at me" I asked her if she knew why Jesus died on the cross and she smiled and said "For our sins so that we are forgiven" I said "Then you know that God isn't mad at you. You said you are sorry and you are forgiven. That's the cool part."
She wiped her tears away and smiled at me and asked to watch Friends.
Again Thank GOD for school drama. Breathing a bit easier tonight.
Happy Thursday
Love,
Dianna
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