Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Mood owooooo

I'm in such a foul mood. It started last night and just so much anger build up and I don't know how to get rid of it. It's like I go through these periods after every fight and the words beat me down so bad where I am a zombie for a week and now I'm so angry I'm shaky. Gonna be a long day.
I need to clean today. I have no desire. I can't keep up on this house. I'm exhausted beyond belief. I'm still exercising,but yesterday I had to force myself every inch of the way.
Had to take Juan yesterday to finish yet another root canal. Grumble, grumble.
Kyle and I are throwing emails off to one another. I'm getting mad. I should just stop. I know I need to stop but holy fuck I'm so mad I'm in tears.
I can't go into full details on here of how bad things really are because it's not fair so I will vent in email to my girls. But God.
I wanna just hit the wall. Just punch it over and over again til this hurt and anger just passes. Make my hands feel as bad as my insides do. I can't make the internal pain go away. But I wanna feel it on the outside.


Carie said...

I am so sorry...I don't even know how to put it into words how sorry I am, I wish IW as closer, just so you had a friend there, so you had someone to take your mind away from it all for a bit...if you need anything let me know, I will find a way to do whatever it is you need

Kathy said...

I am sorry that you are having such a rough time. We will get together very soon. It's been forever since we talked but, know that we can talk whenever. Know that you have friends far and near that will lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on. You are never alone.