I came through my trial and this time I handled it with grace =) YAY!!!
I can't say there weren't any tears, because there were lots, but God pulled me through.
Over and over I kept telling myself that there was nothing I could do about any of this, this was too big for me.
I didn't get angry like I would have in the past, I was sad, but not angry. I kept my head up, reminded myself every 5 minutes if I had to, that God has this in His hand. He will fix it. He promises too and He will.
He did =) He is truth. =D
I love Him so much. In this life I'm not sure about a whole lot, but I am ever so certain how much I love Him.
Lately I have been so excited because I know my break through is coming!! It's like Christmas every day or a surprise around the corner. I know it's coming.
He promised it would =) I love not knowing what I'm waiting for, but I KNOW it's coming. I feel it in my heart.
Today peace overwhelmed me. My house is spotless, everything is in order. I sat at my kitchen table and the inside of my body just felt clean. I know that doesn't sound like it makes any sense, but I'm guessing that was God's peace on me. I still feel it now, that breathe in and your heart gets all flip floppy. That's me falling deeper in love with the one who made me.
Tears well up in my eyes right now at the thought of how much I love Him. He is just so amazing and He takes such good care of me. Every promise He has made to me, He has kept. I have to learn to stop trying to control my own life because I can't. Nothing I do will make any difference in it. He has made my paths and I just walk on going where He takes me.
That doesn't mean I sit and do nothing all day, that just means He opens the doors and that feeling of peace washes over me and I know I'm in the right direction. The Holy Spirit tells me which way to go.
When I walked into the home last week, my heart overflowed telling me "Yes, this is right."
God pruned me. Everything of my old life is almost gone. I do mean everything aside from my family is gone. Video games gone, TV gone, for the most part my phone is gone, people who did me more harm than good gone.......There was nothing left but an empty slate for my maker to mold me on. I wasn't sad, because my old life wasn't any good any way. None of it and God knew what needed to go. Thirty eight years of junk needed to be removed and He did it. I don't regret anything He pruned from me for any second.
Was like an episode of Hoarders, where I was holding on to all this stuff that had no meaning and no value......God was my personal organizer and came in and got rid of all the junk! =) Amen!
I get a new life in Christ. I'd give it all up again and again and again.
He's doing it for my good. He's molding me for the better. I couldn't be happier and couldn't be more in love with Him.
Colossians 3:1 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.
Keep focusing my eyes on God and my life will fall into place.
Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
I didn't understand this at first, but now I do. The more of God I get, the more of God I want.
People can't understand unless they have been there. God has blinders on people and for some reason He chose to take mine off. It's not something anyone can explain. It really is like being blind and then seeing. I remember the EXACT moment mine were taken off. Gives me cold chills just thinking about it.
I thank God for taking mine off and choosing me to have a life with Him.
I can't wait to see what roles He has for me to fulfill, I can't wait to do what He asks me to do, I can't wait to see more people get saved and listen to them tell of the moment God took their blinders off.
It was literally like being born again and spiritually it was, for at that moment everything was shed in a whole new light. It's unexplainable.
If you have blinders on, pray God removes them. You will know when He does. You change and you can't go back to what you were, nor do you want too.
I gotta head to bed, but had to share my trial for now is over and I came through it unscathed thanks to my Father.
I absolutely, totally love Him. I love, LOVE, LOVE Him.