Monday, September 27, 2010


Last night I was on my way to bible study and Savannah fell asleep in the back seat. I just broke down and cried out of pure exhaustion.

Juan had weekly contacts. You wear a pair and after a week throw them away. His dad had taken his glasses the one time he met him and wouldn't mail them back to us. He had been wearing the same pair of weekly contacts in for 6 mos. His eyes yesterday were bothering him so bad.

We were in the garage and I was debating calling his dad and asking him to pay for Juan's contacts. He is under obligation to pay 1/2 of all his medical bills, but has never, ever done so. The child support increase has been tied up in courts for 2 years. Forget the fact that I never in 16 years have had an increase. He doesn't pay me near what he should to help raise a child with special needs.

My mom said to just go on and call him, it can't hurt and we might get lucky. So, I texted him and ask him and he texts back "Flat broke, sorry." I expected nothing else, so I text him back and say "I'll figure it out, I always do" So then he texts back "I'll borrow the money from somewhere." I'm like okay and text him back, "okay" So, he knows the appointment is this morning.

I knew he wasn't going to deliver so we went and cashed in 2 of Juan's college bonds for 100 bucks to cover the exam. The contact special was $99.95........

We were sitting in the waiting room and just talking. We are out of everything til Friday and the pickins are slim on food. Juan said "text my dad and see if he will pay at least 20 so we can get some food." I told Juan "You know that's a long shot." Juan says "Well, he did say yesterday he was going to borrow some money to help."

Sigh, how do you tell your child his father is a douche bag. So, to appease him I text his dad and say "Can you please just help out with 20 of it?" Of course he ignored me. Juan kept waiting for him to text back, but ........ I knew better.

I guess there's always that faint spark of hope that maybe your dad who's rejected you for 16 years will one day just magically want to help you and do stuff for you.

In the real world that's not how things work. My heart ached watching him sit there waiting for the phone.

The lady calls us back and she says "So, you are getting the contact special today right for $99.95", I tell her yes and then wonder how on earth I'm going to come up with the tax. I start thinking, I know I have change in my purse, we will get it.

I ask the lady about the $20.00 eye exam special going on ( gotta have hope right?) and she says "That's for glasses only, contact special is $99.95." I say "No problem, we are still going to get it."

I sit there patiently waiting as she takes him out to check the fit of them and everything. She is ringing up my bill and looks at me smiling and says "Hon your total is $78.70." I'm like "huh?" she said, "I took some stuff off."

It left me with exactly $20.00. Juan picked it up and laughed and said "You got your $20.00 dollars!"

His father ignored me however OUR father did not.

Heard me loud and clear and gave me $20.00.

Was exactly enough to get everything I need to make it til Friday.

I have the best Father in the whole entire world.

I cried and cried.

I love Him.




the curl said...

Abba Father...Our Father...I don't even know what to say except Thank You Father!

Melzie said...

this one made me cry. I love those moments when it can ONLY be God! <3 xoxo melzie