Thursday, March 21, 2013

Feeling Better =)

Actually feeling a lot better. My friend Melzie has been reminding me to read my bible in the mornings and I think I may of beat her on reading it this morning =) I love her!

My life has been taking funny, crazy, confusing twists lately.

I have been trying to stay off the computer a lot. In the evenings is really when I do my "computing", the weekends I have been taking breaks and .........Wow......What a difference. Getting out and seeing people I haven't seen in awhile. Funnily enough I have been asked on quite a few dates, which has been very good for my very low self esteem. It's just weird the twists my life is taking.

It's like God is showing me a glimpse of my life before I started back on the computer. It's really drawing me to pull back more. Seems I get hurt a lot on the old mechanical box and feel a lot of guilt.

When I'm away, my life is different. I have plans for Saturday, going to think about plans for Sunday and I need to work on the weekday evenings more.


I can honestly say right now I feel happiness again.

Yesterday I felt a bit of heartache when someone told me I was keeping them from a "best friend".......Mind you their best friend repeatedly ignored me.....embarrassed me a bit when I tried to openly talk to them and yet still ignored me again. But that behavior against me is okay........I tried to be their friend, then crapped on me, but I get the guilt trip about it.

I was glad it only bothered me for about 30 minutes and other things started happening and I see that I'm not wrong on it, I deserve to be treated well and respected and if someone misses those who treated me badly.........Go back to them.

Not going to carry around anymore guilt.

I read Romans 8 yesterday to remind me of promises and remind me that there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ.

I'm going to be okay, I feel it =D

I'm worth it.

Oh and I lost almost 12 lbs =D I feel so much better about myself.

Have a great happy Day and MELLLLLZZIEEEEEEEEEEE I read Psalms this morning, I did it, I did it!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS My Melzie is the best friend a girl could ever have, she's my God connection. She sent me a statue of what she calls her and me. I keep it right on my dresser so I can see it. That's me and her playing Scrabble and talking. That's her speaking truth into my life that I never want to hear, but I know she's right.

I don't know what I would ever do without her!!


Moi =D

1 comment:

Melzie Belle said...

girl you made me cry. :) you did beat me today I am not an early riser at all lol! And YOU are a light in MY life, reminding me that there are good people still in the world full of hate and meanness, and that it is worth it to hang onto that goodness! love you! xo