Actually feeling a lot better. My friend Melzie has been reminding me to read my bible in the mornings and I think I may of beat her on reading it this morning =) I love her!
My life has been taking funny, crazy, confusing twists lately.
I have been trying to stay off the computer a lot. In the evenings is really when I do my "computing", the weekends I have been taking breaks and .........Wow......What a difference. Getting out and seeing people I haven't seen in awhile. Funnily enough I have been asked on quite a few dates, which has been very good for my very low self esteem. It's just weird the twists my life is taking.
It's like God is showing me a glimpse of my life before I started back on the computer. It's really drawing me to pull back more. Seems I get hurt a lot on the old mechanical box and feel a lot of guilt.
When I'm away, my life is different. I have plans for Saturday, going to think about plans for Sunday and I need to work on the weekday evenings more.
I can honestly say right now I feel happiness again.
Yesterday I felt a bit of heartache when someone told me I was keeping them from a "best friend".......Mind you their best friend repeatedly ignored me.....embarrassed me a bit when I tried to openly talk to them and yet still ignored me again. But that behavior against me is okay........I tried to be their friend, then crapped on me, but I get the guilt trip about it.
I was glad it only bothered me for about 30 minutes and other things started happening and I see that I'm not wrong on it, I deserve to be treated well and respected and if someone misses those who treated me badly.........Go back to them.
Not going to carry around anymore guilt.
I read Romans 8 yesterday to remind me of promises and remind me that there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ.
I'm going to be okay, I feel it =D
I'm worth it.
Oh and I lost almost 12 lbs =D I feel so much better about myself.
Have a great happy Day and MELLLLLZZIEEEEEEEEEEE I read Psalms this morning, I did it, I did it!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS My Melzie is the best friend a girl could ever have, she's my God connection. She sent me a statue of what she calls her and me. I keep it right on my dresser so I can see it. That's me and her playing Scrabble and talking. That's her speaking truth into my life that I never want to hear, but I know she's right.
I don't know what I would ever do without her!!