I'm a coward

It's summer....It's hot... I'm tired. I'm not feeling as good as I was when we came home from moms. Starting to just get plum wore out again.
Have to go have a tooth extracted Friday...I'm scared to death... I Have to have it done, it's bothering me a great deal. I don't understand why I have no courage. Sometimes I wish I could go see the wizard myself and he would give me some medal that would just make me brave. I'm so frozen by fear. I just sit around and think all the time at what I could be if fear didn't hold me down, but I can't seem to get out from it's grip. I don't know what to do. Sigh. It makes me terribly sad. The dizziness is starting to come back, I guess that I am going to have to accep the fact that I am probably going to be dizzy the rest of my life. The thought just kills me. The allergy pills aren't working, I'm always congested.. We live in the worst place in the world for allergies.

I hate the dizziness.... I just don't understand why it won't go away. I have been sleeping sitting up for a year. The one week I lay down, I have to go to the hospital with dizziness. HATE IT.

Ugh.

Love,
Di