Sunday, June 02, 2013

My Sweetest Oldest Friend

My heart is so heavy tonight...My best friend isn't doing so well. He's starting to lose bowel function and is going in the house every day now. He tried to get up tonight and couldn't. He couldn't get up the steps, now he can't go down the steps. He gets so short of breath and has tumors covering his body.

I want to tell him it's okay if he leaves me, that I'll be okay.....But, it won't be.

If he leaves this world, that's someone gone that I know that truly loves me. I have so few and well, losing him....He genuinely loves me, and I him.

When he got sick a couple of years ago, I remember standing out back at midnight looking up at the full moon and the stars twinkling in the sky. I begged God to give me a couple more years with him. God complied as He always does. I also asked God to never, ever put me in the position of having to have Opie put to sleep. To please let him die asleep, peacefully.

I couldn't take that guilt of not knowing if I did the right thing.

I don't want him to go.

I don't.

I got him after I moved out of shelter housing, Kyle and I first townhouse together. Kyle went and got him at the shelter, it was his last chance. He had been returned so many times. He ran off with Kyle's wallet and Kyle knew that was the dog I would want.

He came in and my heart instantly knew, that was *MY* dog. When I couldn't leave the house, he never left my side. He has raised my kids with me, kept me safe. Wagged his tail every time I have walked in the door.

He waits for me and I just don't know what I would do to not have him waiting for me anymore.

He'll have to wait with Jesus for me and my heart just can't take anymore break.

Pray for my sweet Opie, that his legs heal and that my Father take him in his sleep when it's his time.



No comments: