I'm not sure where I'm at lately. I know without a doubt, I'm clinically depressed and that take a lot of who you are with it.
Depression is ugly. I often wonder if it will ever just go away.
Sometimes I wonder if I had this or had that, maybe things would be better. Seems lately nothing gets any better.
I used to find a lot of joy in Jesus, but it left too. I watch shows sometimes about God, but lately they frustrate me because there's a laundry list of stuff you have to do and if it's not done right, they say God won't answer your prayers.
I haven't stopped praying, but maybe just a little I stopped expecting any answers. I'm not really praying anymore because I want something. I truly love God and just knowing He is there, makes things easier.
I cried the other day out of nowhere, thinking about Jesus. Thinking about what he did for us. Thinking that because of him, one day I can leave this earth and go home.
I wait for God to fix me, it's a vicious circle though, because that requires obedience and I'm anything but.
Still waiting for my Christmas miracle. Anything to just jostle me into the spirit of Christmas.
I still haven't put my tree up.
Have a great week!