Been A Long, Long, Long Time

Haven't been updating much because nothing has change lol =D

Christmas came and went. It was really good at points, and at some points it just was.

Have not been crying at all lately. It has been extremely nice. I still feel sad inside and angry, but the tears have stopped.

I'm frustrated lately with people not hearing me and not understanding what I am trying to say. They always jump to their own conclusion without hearing what I'm trying to tell them and I just drop it because they aren't going to see my point. It drives me nuts when people try to disprove what I already know, but are totally on the wrong track with what I'm trying to say.

It happens a lot. It's frustrating.

I also am realizing the magnitude of anger I have at the fact that I got sick. I feel like it took my life away and if I'm going through the stages of grief, I'm over depression and straight into anger.

I'm not sure what to do with it all. I don't know how to just stop the swirling of life and get back on track.

I signed up at church for counseling and there's a lot of stuff I HAVE to do that I don't want to. I think it will be good for me though. I'm not going to try to change everything at once. One thing at a time.

I went to the gym last week twice, getting ready to go now and make that change first.

I need something, wish God would send it.

Wish people would listen to me and listen to what I say.

Wish I lived in Florida on the beach.

Wish this part of my life was over and past.

Argh.

Have a great new year, I'm hoping mines filled with a lot more happier moments =)

Love,

Me