Wednesday, August 10, 2011


Well, yesterday was wonderful, I felt great, was in an okay mood. Not dizzy...

Today, ugh, dizzy.

I'm getting so frustrated it's unreal. No one understands at all what it's like and on top of it being stressful, I'm angry and frustrated.

The past couple of days I have been battling horrendus anger. I'm not really sure who or what I'm angry at...I just am.

I just feel like my life fell apart. All of it. Every single area has crumbled. I have been trying to get closer with God while all this is going on, but sometimes I don't think it's working.

I just have to believe that it is working and that He isn't punishing me. My depression is starting to get pretty bad. I have to go to therapy every week again.

I have been trying to focus on scriptures about healing. Thinking about who and what I am in Christ, not who or what I am here.

For the first time in awhile something was made clear to me. I always say "My hope is is Christ", but I never understood it.

I understood it yesterday. I'm just visiting this earth. Because of Christ I can go home someday and not have to stay here where there's illness and hurt. There's no good bye in heaven, there's no sadness, no dizziness, nothing.

Someday I get to go there. For eternity. Because of Christ, my name is in the book of life and I get to have peace, quiet, love and hope. Someday I get to go home.

I really believe God is working on healing me. I have to be patient and I am feeling better. By his stripes I am healed.

When I get better, I'm not gonna mess it all up again. Well, I probably will, but I really am going to appreciate my time better.

Keep praying for me.



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