Saturday, February 16, 2013

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt

I hide in a fake world a lot of the time. When I'm out of it, I face reality and a lot of denial.

I do okay for awhile, but then the same stuff comes up.

One phrase someone says puts me back into reality.

Something as simple as I will go to this Dr. for the rest of my life.

Seems simple enough.

It's not when you are waiting for someone to be where you are.

Really made me depressed and insecure once again.

I just keep hoping and praying and then I wake up a week later and nothing is any closer.

No words spoken to make me believe things are ever going to be different than they are now.

Then a year passes and everything is the same once again.

I'm in denial. Sad because I love him, but if I can't share the real world with him,

what's the point? Especially when the nothing about the fake world is fun anymore.

I keep praying. I keep praying.....I keep praying.

Wonder if the lack of an answer, is the answer.

We will see one year from now, If I'm at the same desk, in the same room, saying the same thing. Waiting the same wait.

"I don't know why you are so insecure?" "How can I change your feelings?"

Gee, I really have no idea why I'm so insecure.


I see it as just not being enough.

Not being enough makes one insecure.

Off to enjoy the real world and maybe see some real people.



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