My baby girl with her Corn 

March 31, 2005

Today I just didn't want to get out of bed. I am so tired. We spent all afternoon and evening outside. We were like the neighborhood babysitters. We had 10 kids in our yard last night so we went out and played simon says with them, and red light green light and Bocce ball. Then turned to a game of HORSE. The kids like our house, they are always in our yard. Probably because we actually go outside and play with them. Anthonys homework is getting so hard and I am a big dumbass when it comes to math. I am welcoming springbreak. Very much. I am tired of driving to take them to school across town, pick them up from school across town, i miss Ellen, I miss Dr Phil and i am alwayssssssssssssssss on the road driving. I wanna be home and be lazy for a week! Which i probably won't do. I am going to take them somewhere. I wish it could be to the ocean. When i was their age I had been to the ocean probably 10 times and my 13 year old has never even seen it. Hes already past the age where it would be adventurous seeing crabs and collecting sea shells, but to see the ocean. One of my relaxing places is panama city beach, i just remember sitting on the beach, a storm was approaching and i felt the wind and sand just whip against my face. Its a memory i will always take with me. I one day very soon will give my kids the opportunity to go to the ocean. I am going to start a saving jar, to the ocean or bust, Then it will be to see Mickey and the princess for savannah. Shes at the age where she would LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE to see Mickey Mouse but UGH of course Money or lack there of. Maybe next years tax return well just up and do it. No time like the present. With all the cars breaking and wrecks this year it was just impossible. Not to mention the dryer and everything else breaking. Stuff only breaks for us at tax time. I guess that could be a blessing in a way but a curse for those of us who wanna go to the freakin beach :) Okay my dog is still rubbing his teeth on the same reese wrapper, I should really call the vet and find out if he has a toothache or if hes just a neurotic dog. Hes our match thats for sure. I am gonna post a picture of my Savannah. Juan was teaching her to ride her bike and its my favorite picture because you can see his hands around her. Its awesome okay its below!! YAY IT worked!

Opie taking a break from chewing the Reese wrapper LOL hes such a goof butt  

My sweetie pie 

hmm

i cant figure this blog thing out, the new ones i write aren't showing up on the main page but do in the archives. Hmmmmmmmmmmm, gotta think about what i am doing wrong. Ill write more after i figure this out.

March 28, 2005, been awhile

I haven't felt much like writing. I actually haven't felt much like doing anything. I think my iron is low again. I go Wednesday to have it checked. Finally I can talk again :) Thats a perk but i am still squeaky. Been a sad day today. Cried alot. A local police officer was shot and killed by a 17 year old kid. His funeral was today (the police officers) it was very very sad. I cried alot. He was so young and it angers me greatly to know a 17 year old decided on wednesday that he would take someones life. Someones husband, someones friend, someones brother, someones son. The boy shot and killed himself. He had shot someone a month earlier twice, then tried to shoot in a car at some girls, why was this boy on the streets? Senseless, very very senseless. I felt for his wife. She looked so strong. But I know all to well that the funeral ends, the company eventually fades and you are left to deal with reality. Bless their hearts, I wish them well. Sigh. Its been raining alot. Its flooded outside. Easter was rainy. Poor Easter bunny needed a boat to get to our house. I have to leave to get my son now, driving in this slosh. I just wanna sit and sit and sit. Really I want to clean but no energy is coming, just tiredness. Thank God American Idol tomorrow, its truly the highlight of my week. GO BO!! :) Carrie too of course :) Okay. Ill try to write more often.

Wahhhhhhhhh

just whine, and cry and whine and cry thats all i am doing today. I have so much crap i need to get taken care of, when i try to call to do it, they transfer me hoping someone else will understand me. UGH I JUST WANT MY VOICE BACK :****( i mean its 10 days 10 freaking days of no talking. I wanna scream :(. Nothing is going right today. Nothing. I have the whole day to myself to clean but i cant clean because i dont feel good, i am irritated pissed and have a sore throat now again. Probably from straining to talk so much :( My level of frustration is so high. Sooooooooo high.

Another day has almost come and gone
Can't imagine what else could go wrong
Sometimes id like to hide away
Somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war

Tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

It's almost like the hard times circle round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated,
I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing -but I'm not dead

Tomorrows another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

I'm not gonna let it get me down
I'm not gonna cry
And I'm not gonna lose any sleep tonight....